• Top 5 Worst Van Damme Movies

  

  Written by Zeromage 15 Comments
  Last Updated:: November 12, 2008

  On the eve of Van Damme’s new movie where he plays himself in real life, we decided it would be fun to put together his five worst movies. Of course, the amount of bad movies that Van Damme was in are numerous. One could easily make a list of Van Damme’s worst movies and include every single one he’s ever made. However, there were some exceptionally bad movies where he was the protagonist that not only involved his poor acting, but poor screenplays to combine with the bad acting into some of the worst movies of all time. It’s been said that Van Damme’s new movie will be his best because he is actually acting like himself (meaning consistently losing banal action hero roles to Steven Seagal). If it is, he will at least have one movie under his belt that he could be proud of in his 20 some odd years of acting.

  
  
  5. Street Fighter

  Words can’t describe how bad of a movie Street Fighter was. None of the characters looked remotely like the characters of the Street Fighter series. These characters were also some of the worst actors to ever hit the big screen. The story line was abominable, and Van Damme gave one of his worst performances of all time. Van Damme was to be Guile showing off some of the most obviously scripted dialogs in movie history. Of course, dialogs were never a strong point for Van Damme, so maybe we could at least see a fight scene on par with something from Blood Sport. Van Damme was barely in any fight scenes though. Most of the time he was running around talking apolitical gibberish. Street Fighter is almost worth seeing because of how bad it is.

  4. Double Team

  Van Damme and Dennis Rodman; Surely this movie was destined for cinematic greatness. Along with Braveheart and Star Wars, you could put Double Team next to those as the greatest movies of all time. For what it’s worth, there are plenty of action scenes. Most of the scenes in the movie are actions scenes with gaps with some of the worst acting of all time. We can’t blame Rodman though. He probably knows he’s a poor actor and decided to have some half-baked fun making a movie he knew was going to be bad. Van Damme, as a professional actor, should have known better though, but as always, the “action side” of him (The only side of him thus far) got the best of him and decided to do this joke of a movie.

  3. Knock Off

  If anyone has the ambition to write screenplays, they need to watch Knock Off as guidance to arguably the worst story of all time. The lessons that can be learned here will go a long way in learning what not to do when making a movie. Knock Off tries to win over the viewer by ostensibly “artsy” camera shots that move quick and try to show some style. This doesn’t work because it makes the viewer dizzy most of the time. Even if they did work, the plot was so bad that not even 28th century graphic technology could save it. The beginning of the movie starts off with Van Damme selling some products that are “knocks offs”, and then the rest of the movie is him running around a city beating up people screaming “You Lied to Me”. Like most Van Damme movies, if you can get by the abominable acting and plots, you can actually enjoy the absurdity of it all knowing that you’re watching one of the worst movies of all time.

  2. Wake of Death

  1. The Order

  The Order tried to take the Indian Jones theme and modernize it for JCVD! As with all of Van Damme’s movies though, the plot is irrelevant and just a vehicle from one action scene to another. Seeking to find coherent plot lines in any Van Damme movie is like seeking the Holy Grail. So from the start, you can forget any modernization of a decent plot from a past movie. You’re left to the action scenes. How would The Order do in action scenes? The film starts off with some action scene promise but soon falls off into repetitive explosions with Van Damme jumping around these explosions. He does some high-kicks in between the explosions. At one point, it looks like he’s trying to high kick an explosion itself. Smoke a pound of hash and you will think this is the best comedy ever put to film.

15 Comments

1. #1 Weekday Warrior says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 10:57 pm

   i wish we could have a clip of him hitting some one and continuously yelling while holding the pose for 3 minutes…
2. #2 TheMountain says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 10:59 pm

   haha. That’s funny
3. #3 George says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 12:35 am

   I think the perfect word to describe his movies is “craptastic”, their so bad, their genius. Their not skin peelingly bad like a Wayan’s brothers or Seltzer/ Friedberg film, their much more like Ed Wood, either awful or hilariously awful.
4. #4 Nate says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 2:43 am

   I actually thought sudden death wasn’t a bad van damme movie…
5. #5 rob says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 9:41 am

   heh, street fighter…

   Terrible terrible movie. Not so much Van Damme’s fault. It was almost like the MK movies. I wanted to like em but their so shitty. Only I don’t try to like the SF movie, it really is shitty.

   At least MK Annihilation had Sektor in it
6. #6 rob says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 9:54 am

   EDIT:
   I meant Cyrax. Could’ve sworn Sektor was in there too
7. #7 Chase357 says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 11:37 pm

   I’ve seen Knock Off and it does indeed have one of the worst screenplays ever. Street Fighter was a great disappointment as a kid. Another shockingly bad part of a JCVD movie was actually from one of his better ones: Kickboxer. Anyone remember the dancing scene?

   If not, here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EheaRpq4e-I
8. #8 Ronnie Wiggtails says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 12:45 am

   thank you for the kickboxer link. I’m going to bash my skull into a block of ham now.
9. #9 sam says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 10:47 pm

   Van Damme hasnt made a good movie since In Hell in 2004.
   Since then Van Damme has mad some terrible films.
   i recon Van Damme’s worst film would have to be Cyborg that is terrible. and his best would be In hell or kickboxer
10. #10 Sal says:
    March 18th, 2010 at 4:20 pm

    Calling something the Worst Van Damme movie is redundant.
11. #11 The Dude says:
    March 18th, 2010 at 7:44 am

    You guys are all crazy, Van Damme has made some bad ass movie that have inspired millions of people, If you look at it, he came from France, as a foreigner and jumped to the top of fame, then he made some bad choices but he is back,,, in his new roles.

    Support Van Damme

    He is a legend
12. #12 mb says:
    March 18th, 2010 at 4:54 am

    I agree, I’ve always liked JVCD movies, he did make some bad ones as well as some very well respected movie stars. If you take the bad with the good then I would say he ranks right up there with the batter movie stars, heck look at Segal he has made a few movies that the editing was so terrible I had to shut it off, and I like his movies as well.
13. #13 Pit says:
    March 18th, 2010 at 8:43 pm

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