Top 10 Worst Video Game Heroes of All Time

Top 10 Worst Video Game Heroes of All Time

Written by Zeromage 64 Comments
Last Updated:: May 18, 2008

The video game world has prided itself on it’s inordinate wealth of protagonists. Gamers would become attached to games solely on the personality of the protagonists. Somewhere along the line though, video game makers started creating heroes that were less than desirable for the game player to control. The gamer was confused on how these “heroes” were even able to make it past the designer’s desk.

What could possibly make a protagonist a failure? Many things go along to making the worst video game heroes of all time. Sometimes these heroes look so dull that its hard to convince yourself that you’re playing with a special character. Another aspect contributing to some of the worst video game heroes of all time is the hero’s lack of skill. For instance, having a Yo Yo and newspapers hardly qualify as special weapons. Using these “weapons” would get boring quickly. What made these heroes even worse was how easily they could be beaten. The slightest touch could knock down some of these ostensible powerhouses, making you feel disparaged at having to play the game further. These aspects and many others will be included within the descriptions of the next characters that epitomize the worst video game heroes of all time for us.

10. Johnny Cage

Not only did the Mortal Kombat player have to endure the gut wrenching battles when playing with Johnny Cage, but also had to endure the poor acting of Johnny Cage in Mortal Kombat the movie. In both instances, he was weak, flamboyant and the biggest push over in fighting game history. More interested in the way he looked than how he would fight his opponents, Johnny Cage would lose most of his matches and never make it past the early tournament rounds in the Mortal Kombat series. When placed next to the likes of Sub Zero, Raiden, and Scorpion, he was small in statue and even smaller in spirit. It was curious that he even made the rooster of Mortal Kombat good guys considering his haughty demeanor. Yet, he continued to make it through the Mortal Kombat catalogue of players you could choose from. When one recognized that Cage was supposed to be a hero from watching the movie, one was dismayed knowing that their ideals of herodom had come crashing down if Cage was to be understood as one. Play Mortal Kombat 1 and 2 with Johnny Cage and then play those games with all the characters that you could choose from. Johnny Cage will appear as the worst character of them all, let alone any type of hero.

9. Sonic

Sonic looked cool. He had cool hair. He always looked like he was the hero that no one would ever mess around with. Hit him once though and his coins (er…we mean rings) would go flying out of him, leaving him with nothing but his own skin, which was supposed to be more protective for a hedgehog. This outer skin though was as weak as Arthur’s armor (Arthur from Ghosts n’ Goblins). Sure Sonic could do spinning roller coasters on hills that were specially built for his ability, but beyond the eye candy, there was much to be desired from this so-called video game hero. Sonic couldn’t throw anything. He had no magic. All he could do was jump on enemies which mimicked the ability of a much more astute hero included on our top 10 videogame heroes of all time list. Sonic never said anything humorous, nor made the game player feel anything special towards him. Sonic was fun to use for the first couple days of buying a game of his but the coolness factor would soon wear off and you were left with something that just looked the part rather than played the part. Sonic would continue with these lacking qualities throughout the series even to the 3D versions of the game for later Sega systems, which were some of the more abominable games ever made. Sonic just needed more than his illustration to be as a great of a character as he was hyped to be. This he never had.

8. The Noid

The Noid was a hero for the NES where he became the worst bad guy to turn to a good guy in video game history. He was given his famous yo yo to try to save New York City. As anyone can who has ever played this game can obviously understand, this was an almost impossible task. The Noid was weak beyond comprehension. His energy level would go down quickly, his jumping power was below average, and looked like a moron trying to attack enemies. It would have been a better idea to make the Noid a measly enemy in the first level of a game rather than the superhero for the entirety of the game. He didn’t even deserve to be a boss in a video game. What could of helped the Noid was the power of his actual yo yo. This was no magic yo yo though. The yo yo that the Noid was equipped with was as weak for beating up people as a regular yo yo that one would buy at Target. He used a yo yo that you would actually play with to try to knock people down with. Imagine having to save New York City with a bunch of demons with a toy yo yo from Target. This was the task put to the already weak Noid in Yo! Noid for the NES. It’s understandable why this game was not successful in the least bit. No one wanted to be the Noid. Everyone just wanted to destroy the Noid from looking so shitty on their TV screen. Five minutes into using him, one would be amazed by how shitty of a hero he was.

7. Uncle Fester

Talk about the wrong man for the job. If your neighborhood was being invaded by aliens, who would be the first person that you would call to save you and your loved ones? The US military? Maybe the Airforce? Or perhaps even the local police? All of these would be good choices, but Uncle Fester? This short, stocky bald man is the same guy who once went fishing with a stick of dynamite. This is the guy who is supposed to save the world from an alien invasion? Common sense not withstanding, this isn’t even the Uncle Fester we all know and love. The Uncle Fester of Fester’s Quest carries around a gun (I think it’s a gun anyway) which as far as I can tell shoots cheese puffs. Does Uncle Fester ever carry a gun around in any of the Adam’s Family episodes? Does he ever battle aliens for that matter? I think not. For these reasons Uncle Fester makes it onto our list of the worst video game heroes of all time.

6. Toad

Mario 2 for the Nintendo has been criticized to no end by video game purists who only saw Mario one certain way. Even though Mario 2 was a copy of an older game never released in the US, it was still full of quality game play that would keep the gamer entertained for hours on end. On top of this, you could choose between four different characters to use, from Mario, to Luigi, to the Princess and to Toad. Each had their own abilities that made them better than the other characters. Toad did not have this luxury though as there was not much he could do from losing lives even at the easiest of levels. He has no jumping power. He couldn’t float. He wasn’t especially fast. The gamer choose Toad when he had mastered Mario 2 to such a level that he was bored beating the game with the other three characters. But to the player who first started the game and played with all the players, they asked themselves why Toad was even included as an a playable character? Once the gamer saw the power of the Princess or Luigi in being able to traverse levels with relative ease, Toad was appropriately left to the scrap heap of inconsequential video game heroes. Toad would prove to have more of an impact in the later Mario games, but for Mario 2 he would only be remembered as the character not to use throughout the game.

5. Guile

The Street Fighter series had some of the best fighters in the whole fighting game market. Ryu, Honda, Blanca, and Sagat would all be remembered for their idiosyncratic abilities and their indigenous diction. The gamer was always over-joyed in using these characters whether they were in the arcade trying to beat the neighborhood bully or just in their bedrooms trying to prove their street fighter worth on their own. The one hero they would not use though was Guile and he rightfully because recognized as a character you don’t choose if you have any hopes of beating this great fighter. Guile was slow, had no agility, and had no worthwhile moves for himself. His roundhouse kick would never hit anyone even in close distance. His sonic boom projectile was a poor version of the much more forceful fireballs of Ryu and Ken. On top of this, these moves always proved to be too cumbersome to execute relative to the effect they would have on an opponent. His regular punches and kicks were too slow and weak compared to all the other characters in the Street Fighter series. The only heroic part of Guile was his storyline that was too aggrandized for how weak of a character he was.

4. Kid Chameleon

Kid Chameleon for the Sega Genesis was supposed to be a flagship game for the short lived system. Kid Chameleon himself was supposed to appeal to gamers the way that Sonic did by looking cool. Kid Chameleon could shape shift into plenty of different cool forms, but this didn’t keep this main character from being one of the worst video game heroes in gaming history. When Kid Chameleon was in his basic form, he was useless. There have been plenty of heroes in video game history that could switch to more favorable characters but still not lose their own strength as themselves. This was not so with Kid Chameleon. His regular form could barely climb buildings and had no real power. He sure tried to look cool with his J-Lo glasses but this was only a disguise for his utter lack in strength. His other forms fared just as bad. Some of their powers were just plain tacky. We will suffice going into the actual details of these powers and let the game player witness these weak aspects in Kid Chameleons permutations for themselves. The rest of the game was just as weak as its main character, proving that a video game protagonist and the video game itself go hand in hand in quality or lack there of.

3. Tails

Tails would become Sonic’s sidekick starting with Sonic 2 for the Sega Genesis. He would prove to be one of the more useless heroes a gamer could ever control in video game history. Most of the time, Tails wouldn’t even be on the same screen as Sonic making the gamer wonder why he was even included in the game in the first place. There was about two places in total that Tails could be used efficiently in the entire Sega series and those parts could be easily completed without him. On top of this, when Tails did have the motivation to be on the same screen as Sonic, he would do nothing but walk around. He would sometimes mimic Sonic trying to destroy enemies by jumping on them. This was superfluous though as he would jump in the same place as Sonic hurting no enemies because Sonic already took them out. Tails was basically put into the Sonic series to try to strengthen Sega’s best hope for a legacy in the video game market. Beyond the cutesy appeal of his cartoon character persona though, he would prove to be just another in long line of mistakes that the Sega enterprise made.

2. Arthur (Ghosts n’ Goblins)

For anyone who has played Ghosts and Goblins, it goes without saying why Arthur is one of the worst video game heroes of all time. One need only refer back to our most difficult games of all time list to understand why Arthur was an annoyingly poor hero. We will further elaborate though in this article. To recap, he had armor that didn’t work at all. He had a sword that had no length and looked like a fish. He had no fortitude himself when his useless armor was shaken off by the weakest of enemies. Here was a guy who bought his weapons and armor from the worst blacksmith in town and trained less than Apollo Creed when facing Ivan Drago. Arthur would continually suffer the same fate as Apollo when taking just a few steps in the first level. Just look at the front cover to Ghosts n’ Goblins and one will understand how weak of a character Arthur was. His beard was supposed to show his manliness but it was only a disguise for his poor thinking and poor ability in the battle field. Anyone who tells you that they enjoy using Arthur is just trying to make a point for the sake of making one. We are sure that everyone who has played Ghosts n’ Goblins can’t stand having to use this lame excuse for a hero.

1. The Paperboy

It is fairly well know that we don’t like Paperboy. In fact, we think its one of the worst games of all time. One of the reasons why we think that Paperboy is one of the worst games of all time is because of how lame a protagonist the paperboy was. This paperboy would be knocked down by the slightest of neighborhood trouble makers. He never got off his bike to fight the bastards who were trying to interfere with his route. He had no ability for precise accuracy in throwing his papers (maybe this is why the neighborhood hated him after all; because he kept breaking windows on their house). He couldn’t do anything on his bike other than fall down and throw poorly. You look at the front cover to paperboy though and you see a kid who’s willing to take on the world, at least his own delivery route. This is not so when one plays the game for more than five minutes. Speed up, speed down, always get knocked down is the mantra that would be inculcated in the gamers mind when playing Paperboy past five minutes. The gamer would be so angry at the Paperboy for not standing up for himself and not being able to deliver the route for the first day of the week. Having no attack ability and no defensive ability clearly adds to making the Paperboy the worst videogame hero of all time. That this game gets defended is beyond us here at Old-Wizard. We had never experienced a more irritating hero to control than the Paperboy. How could someone this weak and lacking in abilities even be considered a main protagonist for a video game?

64 Comments

#1 A. Johnson says:
March 17th, 2010 at 11:58 pm

Yeahhh you guys suck! So you discredit Sonic because he hops on enemies which mimics another platform hero and the Nintendo mascot Mario? Sonic could also roll through enemies if you remember correctly. Sonic’s boss fights were also more engaging and strategic than Mario’s. You really are speaking like a huge Nintendo fanboy w/every list you guys put out.

Guile is also a great character, his Sonic Boom was a projectile you could pull out if you were trying to get away from Ryu/Ken’s fireball and his Kick was a counter to their dragon punch, but people neglect his other tactical moves. He had 2 of the greatest air counter moves. If you were up against an opponent who jumped a lot (take Vega for instance) and you timed it right you could hop up grab him and either backbreak him or toss him to the ground. Matter fact, when I beat Street Fighter 2 in the arcades it was w/Guile first. His low roundhouse was also a devastating move for anyone trying to recover from a blow that left em on the ground.

Johnny Cage was awesome too. Sure he was the hollywood actor turned tournament fighter blah blah, all ridiculous plotlines aside, but he also had some devastating moves. His Shadow Kick, projectile, and shadow punch were ill moves in his repertoire and who the hell can forget the family jewel special he had? Which pretty much left your opponent stunned in time to deliver an uppercut.

All in all there’s way more video game protagonists that are more qualified for this list than the ones you’ve stated. Shit Frogger, Death Jr., Bubsy, etc come to mind.

#2 TheGamesta says:
March 17th, 2010 at 12:40 am

This list really shouldn’t have mimicked your “Top 10 Worst Video Games” as it did. When I saw that this was basically a “Top 10 Worst Video Games” part II I frowned. Especially considering many of your games on that list are considered classics by many gamers. Ghosts n’ Goblins anyone? Yah it’s a Classic; and a well deserved one too!

How in the world is Guile, among others, on this list? The reasons you listed are ignorant as they come! A skilled player could beat anyone as Guile. Hell, SFII isn’t considered one of the most balanced fighters in existence for nothing!

I agree with Toad, but the rest of the list is completely unwarranted. My god you listed Sonic and Tails! Those two are leaps and bounds more awesome than anyone of Sonic’s other crappy friends!

#3 M says:
March 17th, 2010 at 2:23 am

okay, while some of this list i have to agree with, i never did enjoy using Guile in SF or Johnny Cage in MK, but thats just because i could never get the hang of using them. Also, are you serious about Sonic and Miles ‘Tails’ Prower, they do not belong in this list no matter your logic. And Kid Chameleon was one of the first Sega games i played, it was actually my fourth Sega game ever played, so in my mind him on this list is crap. i realize his power is a generic Copy ability, copying the power of the helmets he’s wearing, but that was still cool. (also, ‘j-lo’ glasses, he was wearing those BEFORE she even thought of being called ‘j-lo’; maybe even before jennifer lopez was famous!)

#4 OldWizardWhat? says:
March 17th, 2010 at 3:22 am

This has got to be the most uninspired and most uncredible site I have ever seen. I thought IGN was biased and kiddy, they are like gaming gods compared to this place. Wow. Just wow. You have no idea of a cool character, especially having Mario ahead of Sonic as a cool character? I can’t help but laugh.

#5 Jesus Jones says:
March 17th, 2010 at 10:14 am

This site is rapidly becoming the biggest joke on the internet.
How about putting Mario up here? or if not posting a few paragraphs explaining how an obease Italian plumber is better than anything on this list.

Thanks for the laugh guys.

#6 Pingfa says:
March 17th, 2010 at 10:52 am

Yep. Figured as much. :-/ Sonic was super fast. That was his special ability. Mario… could weigh down enemies by jumping on them. As for having no magic: Mario doesn’t either, until he picks up a special flower that is – hence why I might have implied that he is effeminate in the Worst Video Games Heroes of All Time list. Sonic can become Super Saiyan Sonic. That’s two special powers – suppose you could call it “magic”.
Sonic didn’t just jump on enemies, – like Mario, for example – he could run through them. Pretty badass, no?
Humour isn’t where Sonic gets his charm from; it’s his coolness. His unwavering determination – and the fact that he gets the job done, without whining (Mario, anyone?). He is a Hero in a way that he is something to aspire to – let’s face it, people wouldn’t want to be Mario.

As much as I’ve criticised Mario and launched what seems to be a relentless polemic on his weaknesses, I do like Mario. However, the only effective way to convey why Sonic should be on the list and why these qualities that are noted as a vice are actually his strength is by comparing those strengths/weaknesses to the one and only Nintendo hero.
Sonic and Mario are two very different heroes. Totally different personalities. That’s not a bad thing.
They both have their good – albeit different – charms.

See you next time.

#7 Pingfa says:
March 17th, 2010 at 10:58 am

Tails, I agree, doesn’t really fit the Hero criteria. However, he is a hero in his own right. Not the kind with special powers or a cool, funky look; or even with a cool, funny, or mysterious personality. No. Tails is a standard hero. The kind that, even lacking special powers and many qualities often seen as desireable in most heroes, is always there; is always doing the job; is always following the Way; and doesn’t give up.

Tails, just your everyday standard hero. Arguably the best there is.

#8 Helequin says:
March 17th, 2010 at 1:08 pm

I thought the list was quite lame too. There are far worse heroes and Guile was totally cool! Also putting Sonic on it was surely JUST to evoke a response. Surely no one could say that Sonic is one of the worst video game heroes when he is so incredibly popular. Sure you could say ” I don’t see why people think he is so great” but unless you have been in a cave with your head stuck up your ass then you must know that his massive fan base more or less rules him out as a “worst ever” even if you don’t like him….

But Pingfa, you’re not doing yourself any favours with the bizzare arguments you are putting forward! When on earth does Mario whine? He’s not some sort of genetically modifed super hedgehog hes a freakin overweight italian plumber! You never hear him complain though. Every ten seconds he’s getting called out by the tease peach with the promise of a bit of cartoony action and everytime that cockblocker bowser gets in the way and steals her, but Mario doesn’t sulk, he doesn’t launch into some despair ridden emo fest. He just gets on with it. Really the better comparision would have been “he get the job done with out whining (Cloud anyone)” for example.

Also when you called Mario Nintendo’s one and only hero. What on earth are you talking about. Link? Samus? Fox? Pit? Yoshi? Captain Falco? Kirby? and those are just right off the top of my head! Not to mention the ones that made their first appearance on nintendo systems like Megaman, Simon Bellamont or, as much as it may pain you, Snake.

Nintendo’s one and only hero? what on earth are you talking about? Or did you just fail to notice any of those games? And don’t even try to go through picking out why they arn’t heros because in the case of most of them they are the archetypal DEFINITION of Hero.

Tails isn’t a hero at all. He’s an annoying side kick, and he shouldn’t have been on this list seeing as he doesn’t match the criteria. I suppose he is “argubly” the best there is… but it would be a very short argument.

#9 NecroVMX says:
March 17th, 2010 at 3:43 pm

The anti-sega idiocy continues.

#10 Chad says:
March 17th, 2010 at 3:52 pm

I think they put these outrageous lists together simply for shock value. That way you keep coming back to see what other bullshit they’re going to say next. It’s a scam, don’t fall for it!

#11 old-wizard.com says:
March 17th, 2010 at 4:56 pm

“The anti-sega idiocy continues.”

7/10 of these characters were released on Nintendo systems.

#12 darren says:
March 17th, 2010 at 5:33 pm

“The anti-sega idiocy continues.” did the president of sega run your dog over i have to add your review’s ar crap

#13 phuckerjohn says:
March 17th, 2010 at 9:38 pm

Simply put, you completly suck. I don’t know why you exist. This is my second time on this site, and it’s the second time I’ve regreted it. This is my first comment, and my last.

1. Sonic does not suck. Sonic outclassed Mario (even though I always will have a special place in my heart for Mario most of the mario games) in a lot of ways during the Genesis run. He could run, spin, jump and bounce his way all over the board in ways that had never been seen in video games to that point. Sega has gotten stupid in the last 10 years with how they’ve treated Sonic, making him go the way of Megaman….only appealing to little kids, and saying a big “screw you” to the fans who were around in the early days. Which is a shame, since in the early days, Sonic was able to get Kids, Teens and adults liking the games he was in. It was family gaming, not kid gaming. If you are going to come after Sonic…you have to be specific about what games he sucked in (basically anything from the Saturn on up to the Wii). Because the first 3 sonic games were absolute classics on Genesis.

2. Johnny Cage was not the worst character to use in Mortal Kombat for most people I know. That went to Jax. Jax was slow, his moves took forever to pull off, and he had trouble with countering special moves or getting out of the way of some of the others. Jax also had one of the most complex levels of fatalities in the games. Sure, Cage was cocky in a lot of ways, but he was cool because everyone knew it was a tribute to JCVD. Striker was also a big let down in the mortal kombat series, so he was a lot worse that Cage ever was. I know Cage was never the best character, but he was by far not the worst. You could take most of the characters in MK4 and find worse characters in it than Johnny Cage.

3. Tails was a sidekick, not the hero. Tails is what they call a helper, the way that megaman aquired a helper in later games. (nice lil’ robotic dog anyone?)
Tails was also one of the best sidekicks for any game on the Genesis system, and if you’d actually played games on that system, you’d see that there were a lot worse than Tails in gaming. (Micheal Jacksons’ Moonwalker comes to mind for a worse “hero”).

4. Toad – Toad’s special ability in SMB2 was that he could pick up coins, veggies faster than anyone else….so he did have a special power. He was the weakest jumper and didn’t provide alot compared to the other 3, I’ll grant you that, but trust me…there are alot worse out there than toad. Toad, btw was included in that game because in the game they stole from, there were 4 playable characters, and so in that game they had to have 4 good guys to play as.

5. Guile – While I personally never liked using Guile (always felt he was the weakest of the Street Fighter characters), he was a million times better than anyone in Shaq Fu or Streets of Rage, of whom characters in thoose games should have made that list. Street Fighter 2 (and it’s early sequal games) were really well balanced and complete games. If you were skilled enough, you could beat the game using anyone in it. There wasn’t a character in the games that was truthfully useless, save maybe Balrog who really could do little aside from punch and would probably be the one character in Street Fighter I’d classify as worse than Guile. Everyone had their favs in that series, as mine were Chun-Li, Cammy, Ryu, Ken, Blanka and Dhalism. Some I know liked using Balrog, Deejay and Guile better, I just personally never got the appeal of them. It’s fine that you didn’t like Guile, but to classify him as one of the worst ever…is a huge stretch when you think of some of the worst games ever…it is usually because they have the worst hero’s or villians in them anyway. (E.T. is a prime example, as are games like 3 stooges, Back to the Future, Micheal Jordan (chaos in windy city), Shaq-Fu, Streets of Rage…..do ya see where I’m going now?). It’s painfully obvious that your attempt at any video game list is pathetic. You strive for originality, thinking that oh, if we put this character or name this game, it brings people to the site, nevermind if we have credibility or not. Well, you might do that, but as the other comments show…it’s also obvious that you have no credibility whatsoever in the gaming world. There is a reason why you can make a list of the 50 or 100 worst games ever, and none of the games you’ve listed would even be on them. So how is it that the worst hero’s are coming from games that are by 98% of the video gamers out there, considered classics or at least good/decent games…even if they had flaws? The only 4 you got right were Fester, Kid Cameleon, Paperboy and Arthur for this list. For the record, I realize that Ghosts n’ Goblins, while a classic…is a very flawed game. You Missed out on Sypro, Shaq, Micheal Jackson, Micheal Jordan, Marty McFly, and E.T. who could have easilly been on the list over anyone else you named. They are the worst for a reason. Oh, but you have to be original, right? Can’t do lists that everyone else does, right? Nope, simply put…you just want to show the world that your right, when 98% of videogamers are wrong, instead of understanding that games and their characters are called “the worst ever” because there is a good reason for it, not because you just want more website hits. Well, this is my last visit to this site, so you won’t be getting anymore hits from me. You’ve lost any and all credibility with that bogus list of yours. Next thing I’ll probably hear from this site is how E.T is the best game ever, when it’s the only one to ever get a special permit for dumping in the desert lands of New Mexico and then have it happen. (hopefully someone dug them up, recycled them into soda bottles or clothing or something usefull though).

#14 sdf says:
March 17th, 2010 at 7:49 am

guile was a top tier character in sf2. you lose.

#15 notsonic says:
March 17th, 2010 at 3:00 pm

this website is terrible

terrible.

#16 RickyL says:
March 17th, 2010 at 4:37 pm

Ok this website really has gone downhill…

What used to be interesting reads have now turned into mindless rants…

I will NEVER come here again!

EVERRRRRRRRRRR

#17 Anonymous says:
March 17th, 2010 at 5:03 pm

If you honestly believe that Sonic is one of the worst video game heroes of all time, you are either very silly or very stupid. “Hit him once though and his coins (er…we mean rings) would go flying out of him left to nothing but his own skin which was supposed to be more protective for a hedgehog.” Did you guys just forget that Mario didn’t have a life bar until Super Mario 64? Dying in a Mario game is much, MUCH easier than dying in a Sonic game, especially since you can always pick your rings back up. And, since when is Sonic the first hero to jump on enemies? That’s like saying that every single platformer ever made is a ripoff of Super Mario Bros. It actually makes MORE sense for Sonic to jump on enemies to kill them than it does for Mario, since Sonic (being a hedgehog) can use his entire body as a weapon. As for superpowers, I think that the Chaos Emeralds and their subsequent Super Sonic transformation trumps most other video game superpowers. Few things are more satisfying than getting that last Chaos Emerald and transforming into an invincible being to kill everything in your path.

Say what you will about Sonic’s crappy 3D forays, but you cannot deny that Sonic is an amazing hero. For those of us who were sick of plodding through unimaginative environments and hopping on endless Goombas, Sonic was a breath of fresh air.

However, I guess crappy articles like this are reasons why so few people have heard of this website. Support your arguments with actual FACTS, and people might start taking you seriously.

#18 Frank says:
March 17th, 2010 at 5:11 pm

I agree completely with Sonic being on this list. As the author said, he is a character is something of a rip off of Mario. Just switch out Bowser with a deranged Doctor and the Princess to furry animals, and you have Sonic the Hedgehog.

#19 Tony says:
March 17th, 2010 at 5:17 pm

To respond to Anonymous, I personally find this website to be a much needed breath of fresh air. Granted, the lists are unusual, and sometimes just plain inflammatory, but that’s what makes this site stand out from the hundreds of other video game websites on the i-net. This site seems not to care who they offend, they are simply stating their opinion. I like the fact that this is a site that doesn’t cater to what games/characters/bands people expect should be on these lists that they make. They make their lists how they want to, other opinions be damned.

That being said, I don’t agree with this list myself. I think you guys were a little to hard on Guile and Toad. And as for me, I don’t think Sonic belongs even on a top 1,000 worst video game characters list, but you make good arguments regardless. Keep up the good work guys, and don’t listen to what anyone else says.

#20 John says:
March 17th, 2010 at 5:23 pm

Tony: Just because a website is different doesn’t make it better than other sites. Maybe there is a reason no other webpage would put the paperboy at the top of a worst video game protagonists list. Because he is AWESOME. The game is awesome. This site can say what they want about IGN, but that site is still 100X better than this shitty site.

This site is beyond stupid. Why do you guys waste your time with these lists anyway? They are always wrong and they just get people mad at you.

#21 Charles in Charge says:
March 17th, 2010 at 6:40 pm

Whoever writes this crap just doesn’t know about games. Period.

#22 notsonic says:
March 17th, 2010 at 11:13 pm

guile, seriously?

you should learn to play games rather than hate on the ones you dont understand.

old wizard?

12 year old wizard.

#23 Pingfa says:
March 17th, 2010 at 11:04 am

“But Pingfa, you’re not doing yourself any favours with the bizzare arguments you are putting forward!”

Although you might feel a little skeptical considering the crowd over here at old-wizard, my posts were not made for the sole purpose of vexing Nintendo fans or getting a vehement reaction. Please, if you will, think of these “arguments” as discussions.

“When on earth does Mario whine? … he gets on with it”

He does get on with it. He is to be commended for that – but he does whine. Not necessarily all that bad, because he still gets on with it. I was simply comparing qualities within Sonic that are made to be a vice here, but are actually his strengths.

“Also when you called Mario Nintendo’s one and only hero. What on earth are you talking about.”

I didn’t forget about the rest. The “one and only” is a figure of speech to give credit to the most popular of Nintendo heroes.

“And don’t even try to go through picking out why they arn’t heros because in the case of most of them they are the archetypal DEFINITION of Hero.”

They are. I absolutely agree; but none of them are THE one and only most popular Nintendo hero. All fantastic, – apart from Snake :p – but Mario has made the biggest claim to fame.

“Tails… I suppose he is “argubly” the best there is… but it would be a very short argument.”

Sure would.

#24 Zombiejack says:
March 17th, 2010 at 11:03 am

So the top ten best heros is packed full of nintendo or ones who’ve appeared on nintendo and the top ten worst has sonic in…hmmmmm?

#25 Economic Tiger says:
March 17th, 2010 at 11:25 pm

sonic does not belong on that list.

And sonic did have magic. Ever heard of golden sonic?

#26 Peter says:
March 17th, 2010 at 10:18 pm

finally somebody besides me thinks sonic is lame. cmon sega was so uncreative with the entire series. sonic and tails thats creative….and his rings(coins) megaman belongs on this list as well. thats the worse name i have ever heard to name a character. seriously what is the bad guys name superbadguy?

#27 MW123 says:
March 17th, 2010 at 12:35 pm

“Sonic has no magic” You’re kidding?
Sonic + chaos emeralds = SUPER SONIC!!!!
Sonic + SUPER emeralds = HYPER SONIC!!!
Need I go on?

#28 everything on the list is correct except tails and sonic says:
March 17th, 2010 at 6:21 pm

read my name!

#29 Less than a moron says:
March 17th, 2010 at 5:26 am

Man, you must really have something against Sega to include both Sonic AND Tails.

yes, Sonic games were similar in BASIC premise to Mario… but in a time when every other game was a Platformer, and every other game involved jumping on enemies head… you kinda have to just leave it.

#30 sonic's evil twin says:
March 17th, 2010 at 5:53 am

yeah but the guy hate’s sega why ? no one know’s i mean come on mario cool where do you come from 12 year old wizard japan by any chance ?

#31 James McCloud says:
March 17th, 2010 at 9:57 pm

lol god you guys REALY hate sega
never realy thought about it but toad is pretty retarded

#32 Edbad says:
March 17th, 2010 at 5:38 pm

Mario can only take 2 hits no matter if you have the raccon suit or tanooki suit. Sonic With 1 ring could be hit endless times if he picks the same ring!!!

What about Vega? he has no projectile he just jumps like an idiot AND he can lose his only weapon by getting hit! talk about useless. Guile had the sonic boom the suplex grab (which at least was cool) and the sonic kick.

I agree that bubsy sucks more or any kid from the maniac mansion.

#33 SweetSeka says:
March 17th, 2010 at 5:26 pm

Author really needs to learn English.
It’s really getting hard to read this crap.
Entertaining articles though

By the way, the US Military includes the Airforce.. are you retarded? Military does not equate to the Army. I’m guessing that’s what you meant. The Military is comprised of Marines, Army, Navy, Airforce, Coast Guard and the medical and legal uniformed services.

#34 Tails Da FOx says:
March 17th, 2010 at 2:39 am

Seriously? Tails at #3!? Did you base this purely on Sonic The Hedgehog 2? Tails has been in many games since his origination, and with each game brings improvements. I will agree, in STH2 He was kinda useless, but you cant base it all on that. All the charactors in the Sonic series have brought changes that have been revolutionary to gaming. When Sonic was realeased for the first time in 1991 on the Genesis, it was revolutionary. No other games had such great graphics and BGM’s at the time. (I still find them appealing, as they have a certain “Classic” quality)

Also, your argument is flawed. What is this bit about Tails having no “Special Powers”? Have you not played any Sonic game since the 16 bit era? You have boviously overlooked the fact that Tails can fly in all games after STH2. If that isnt a “Hero” quality, then i’m not sure what your definition of a Hero is. The way i see a hero in a game is a charactor who Is the leader, or supposrts the leader in a game. It is un-arguable that Tails helps Sonic out in the games (Especially the more recent ones) so your entire argument is just an expression of your dislike for SEGA.

(And if you really think Sonic belongs on this list, maybe you should play Super Smash Bros. Brawl, that alone is an argument enough.)

#35 Tails Da Fox says:
March 17th, 2010 at 2:40 am

(I do agree about Toad though.)

#36 Shadsilvson says:
March 17th, 2010 at 4:52 pm

Bad list

I can forgive hating Toad, Arthur, Kid Chameleon and the Noid. BUT what I could not forgive was hating Sonic and Tails. They’re awesome.

#37 Ledhead says:
March 17th, 2010 at 6:08 am

How can you even take this guy seriously enough to argue with his list? Such effort is hardly necessary.

The Genesis was a short lived system? It outsold the SNES and was the first, last, and only great Sega console. Yea I know…DC, but it was just almost.

#38 Ellynore Kitten says:
March 17th, 2010 at 10:24 pm

idc if you make fun as much as you want to but leave out all the sonic characters, all the spyro characters, and all the crash characters cuz they rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#39 Alien Person says:
March 17th, 2010 at 9:12 pm

Old-Wizard, you are just weird.

The Paperboy, Arthur, The Noid, Uncle Fester, they should be on here. But NOT Sonic.

Before you crown me a Sega fanboy, I do like Nintendo better than Sega. But… Sonic is better than you think. He can take infinite hits (picking up rings), His games up until Sonic Adventure 2 were very good, and yes, he DID look cool.

So, yeah. Be at peace with Sega. You don’t want Sega fanboys at your door looking for revenge, do you? I thought not.

Peace out.

#40 avi says:
March 17th, 2010 at 12:30 pm

where’s bubsy, michael jackson, shaq fu, tetris blocks, etc. also, there are more useless allies than tails and toad (Tails isn’t very unhelpful anyway, and at least Toad does help sometimes). since ”unhelpful helpers” are included here, I recommend looking into star fox or zelda:oot for useless people (or animals).

#41 avi says:
March 17th, 2010 at 12:32 pm

sonic, tails, guile, kid chameleon, and johnny cage don’t belong here.

#42 Sol (Frederick) Badguy says:
March 17th, 2010 at 8:52 am

Johnny Cage? One of the WORST? He’s one of the top fighters in Mortal Kombat 1 & 2, playing using him sucks in Trilogy but in later games starting with 4 they fixed that mistake. You don’t know how to play using him, don’t you? I beat everyone I fight as Johnny Cage to dream land and he has two awesome fatalities in Mortal Kombat 2.

Sonic Sucks? He’s a 100folds better than Mario, at least if he gets hit he loses the rings instead of an immediate death. Man; you’re a spaz when it comes to playing Sonic games, aren’t you?

Guile? He sure is one of the easiest to beat when I’m fighting him; but when I play with him I kick the seating of the ones I fight out of their places

Tails? Useless? You can control him with player 2 gear if you’re playing with both characters and fight using him saving sonic rings, in “Sonic 3 & Knuckles” you can let him fly and carry Sonic high, sure he get’s tired after a while but he’s very very handy as a sidekick, not that great as a single hero playing with him

#43 avi says:
March 17th, 2010 at 8:40 pm

10.Arthur 9.Shaq-Fu 8.Michael Jackson 7.Bubsy 6.Duke Davis from Bad Street Brawler 5.ET 4.The Noid 3.Uncle Fester 2.The Paperboy 1.Straight Line from Tetris he is pretty much the protagonist of the game so I count him.

#44 avi says:
March 17th, 2010 at 8:42 pm

@TAilS Da FoX:really? ALL the Sonic Characters?

#45 avi says:
March 17th, 2010 at 8:47 pm

I should have put Arthur MUCH higher. Oh, and Sonic is awesome.

#46 avi says:
March 17th, 2010 at 1:19 pm

oh, and i forgot Bonk from Bonk’s Revenge.

#47 jeff says:
March 17th, 2010 at 3:45 pm

Old Wizard wants to fuck the Noid.

#48 metalangel says:
March 17th, 2010 at 7:49 pm

So, basically, you’re a bunch of Sega haters who wish they were SomethingAwful, but without any the encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture (so obscure references will stir happy memories and make you smile), with added bias to disguise a genuine lack of humour or insight.

Doesn’t it worry you that almost all of these comments are flames, and that your articles still get people’s backs up after over a year? You have talent, why not write something that will make people laugh *with* you?

#49 N says:
March 17th, 2010 at 11:34 pm

Your list is completely half-assed. You give no logical facts to back your up selections at all.Johnny Cage I completely agree on, the whole “Hollywood Sensation gone martial arts badass” cliche is quiteuncreative.But to see Sonic the Hedgehog up there is a bit of a shocker. What makes Sonic such a great hero from my perspective(And some might agree.)is that he was the exact opposite of what mario lacked in terms of personality and identity.Logically it makes sense for him to roll into a ball and cut or collide into his enemies, given the FACT that although fictional and anthromorphic he is a hedgehog after all.

#50 R. says:
March 17th, 2010 at 5:45 am

UR list is BS. Not true at all.

Here is how the rankings went among all 8 in Street fighter.

Guile
Ken
Blanka
Chun Li
Ryu
E. Honda
Zangief
Dhalsim

U are so wrong in terms of Cpu, strategy, popularity, reception, fanbase, vice versa, Guile was the #1 character which a lot of people truly liked in Street fighter 2. His moves/ combos were overpowered and deadly. U all are just hating because you all want the same deadly Guile that used to be so much fun to play with and because he gave everyone one hell of a nightmare in Street Fighter 2.

Newer Comments »

Top 10 Worst Video Game Heroes of All Time

64 Comments

Leave a Comment