• Top 10 Worst Superheroes

  

  Written by Zeromage 122 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 23, 2008

  One of the most common debates found on comic book forums across the interweb is who is the most powerful superhero of all time? Another common debate is who’s the best superhero of all time. Well, since the staff here at Old-Wizard.com are a couple of real going against the grain type o’ guys, we decided to ask the much less often asked question of who the worst superheroes of all time are. After a couple of hours of heated debate, this is the list that we came up with:

  10. The Thing

  The Thing has always reminded me of those “no name” wrestlers you used to see on the WWF back when Wrestling was cool. His main function in the Marvel Universe is to show you how powerful some new villain is. His one super power is super strength, but unfortunately there are about a hundred other heroes and villains in the Marvel Universe who possess super strength, and many of them have other powers as well. Not only that but most of the other heroes who have super strength are much stronger than him. Even Colossus is supposed to be stronger than the Thing. Add to that the fact that he’s a rocky freak of nature and his favorite catch phrase is “It’s clobberin’ Time” and you have one of the worst superheroes of all time.

  9. Aquaman

  In a comic book universe where almost every major story arc takes place on dry land, its good to have a super hero who can’t survive outside of the water for an extended period of time. Enter Aquaman, the super hero whose main powers are the ability to breath underwater and talk to fish. Yeah, that should come in handy next time Darkseid decides to attack the Earth, right?

  8. Jubilee

  Jubilee possesses the ability to make fireworks. This would be a great super power if she was on a superhero team with Aqualad and Arm Fall Off Boy, but on a team with guy who can heal from pretty much atoms, a lady who can control weather and the like, Jubilee’s power to make sparklers is pretty lame. Note to super villains: Stand 10 feet back and you should be fine.

  7. Sentry

  I honestly wish Marvel would just kill this character off already. Although he’s supposed to be “more powerful than a million exploding suns” he hardly ever makes any meaningful impact in any of the major story arcs that take place in the Marvel Universe. In both the Civil War and World War Hulk we are forced to sit through pages and pages of the other super heroes trying to get him over all of his psychological issues and convince him to join the fray, only to see him make no difference once he finally does get involved (Civil War) or simply get his ass handed to him (World War Hulk).

  6. Squirrel Girl

  Do I really have to explain this choice? Squirrel Girl’s main super power is the ability to communicate with squirrels. Yeah, you read that right. She communicates with squirrels. You have to give Marvel some credit here. The best stories I would have been able to come up with for this “super” hero would be looking for nuts and dodging cars. But the writers at Marvel have actually managed to create some great stories for Squirrel Girl. Like the time her and her pet squirrel “Tippy-Toe” defeated Thanos all by themselves. And in another story line she even beat the criminal mastermind Doctor Doom. It takes some some great writing to pull off those stories. My only question is, why don’t the other Marvel heroes make fun of these guys afterwards? If I was the Silver Surfer and I was fighting Thanos, I would start taunting him about the time he got his ass handed to him by Squirrel Girl and her pet Tippy-Toe.

  5. Ant Man

  Ant Man. This guy’s super power is the ability to turn really small. I’ve never understood how he was able to get on the same super hero team as The Might Thor, Iron Man, and Captain America. It’s like Chad Pennington on the ‘85 Bears. This guy is a brilliant scientist, and yet, instead of using his brain to figure out a way to give himself some useful super power like super strength, or even the ability to turn invisible, he decided to figure out a way shrink himself instead. Now he can’t even drive a car or pick up a beer. Way to go, buddy.

  4. Dazzler

  You have to wonder if Marvel was starting to run out of ideas when they came up with Dazzler in the mid seventies and early eighties. She was a low point for the X-men and for Marvel in general. She had a bad costume, and lame powers. Not only that but she was basically a failed marketing attempt . For those of you who don’t know, Dazzler was was originally a project commissioned by Casablanca Records in the mid-late 1970s, in which Marvel would develop a singing super heroine, while Casablanca would produce a singer. Needless to say this project was a complete failure, and so is this super hero.

  3. Blue Beetle

  I have no idea why they keep bringing this super hero back. It seems like there’s a new Blue Beetle every few years, and yet he’s consistently one of the worst heroes in comics. His powers vary, but they usually consist of some combination of enhanced strength, flight and the ability to generate lightning. Basically he’s a lamer, and much weaker version of Thor from Marvel comics. That wouldn’t be so bad, but his costume is almost as lame as Robin’s. ‘Nuff said.

  2. Hawkeye

  Much like the equally lame Green Arrow from DC comics, Hawkeye’s “super power” is the fact that he is a master archer. Watch out, Magneto.  But at least the Green Arrow came first. Which makes Hawkeye a knock-off of a crappy character. Plus, he wears purple.

  1. Robin

  Robin is a superhero named after a migratory songbird that you can find in your backyard and feed bird seed to. Can someone tell me why they would name Batman’s sidekick after a songbird? What do bats have to do with robins anyway? Is there some connection that I’m missing here? Bats and robins can both fly, something neither Batman nor Robin can do by the way, but other than that the two have nothing in common. Robins aren’t even nocturnal. The funny thing is, Robin is one of the first superheroes ever created. (granted “super” is a stretch here). Its not like they were running out of cool bird names for superheroes at that point. I’m pretty sure Hawkman was still available. Or even the Blue Falcon. So we’re left with the simple question: Why Robin? Were they trying to “gay up” batman? Was he too scary for little kids? Was the creator of the dynamic duo some sort of closet bird watcher? We may never know the answer.

122 Comments

1. #1 Delta says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 7:42 pm

   lol Composite-Superman had Matter-Eater Lad’s powers. Of course, since he had the powers of several members of the LSH, he was insanely powerful. We’re talking as much as three times Silver Age Superman’s power level, plus various energy projection abilities, telepathy, invisibility, phasing, shape-shifting, ect.
2. #2 bryan says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 3:36 am

   yeah but after goliath becomes yellowjacket hawkeye becomes goliath 2 so why is he here?
3. #3 Sean says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 3:14 am

   Hawkeye has be redone now. He uses guns instead of arrows now. He looks a lot cooler. He also has a very tragic back story that has made him fairly unstable. All in all he is now one of the more interesting characters presently in the Avenger universe. The only critique I have about the character now is that there is one particular personalty trait that is perhaps a little too simillar to deadshot.
4. #4 AlGore says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 3:42 am

   Like the description says : he wears purple!
   Plus, matter-eater lad will kick (or eat) his ass! lol
5. #5 Delta says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 7:18 am

   ‘Cuz Hawkeye is back to Hawkeye maybe, Bryan?
6. #6 p.okas says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 7:47 pm

   the hawkeye with guns is from ultimate comics, not the mainstream marvel, and honestly, i think he’s even silier now.two guns = cool? don’t think so. i don’t like neither of his costumes, by the way, maybe the new ronin one.nevertheless i don’t agree with a lot of choices in this list, but i wont bother to explain, i would have to write a lot lol

   oh, and hate answers will be ignored, since i won’t come back to read them.bu-bye
7. #7 AlGore says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 9:36 pm

   I just heard that Pixar want to realize the next Ant-man, as well as the famous Edgar Wright. It seem that I’m not the only one to think that this character is not so bad after all! Indeed, I don’t see anybody fighting to realize a movie on squirrel girl, even if she deafeated Deadpool and Dr Doom…
8. #8 Alberto says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 5:24 pm

   I would have to disagree on the last 3 characters, well maybe 2…… No lets leave it at 3.

   Technically this 3 guys are not superheroes. (the last bettle is a superhero, but not eh one in the picture) they are Heroes. Zeromage stated “super” and “super power” with both characters.
   They are not Super humans, so they can’t be Super heroes. Agree that, they are look lame compared to guys that can move planets and have claws coming out from their fist, but come on. This guys are nothing but regular humans. They have a lot of fucking cojones to fight.
   No?
   If you see a fucking 12 year old kid, trying to fight a fucking killer crok, the joker or two face would not you believe that he has more cojones than, Zeromage, you and me put together.
   And what about a guy whose only ability is to have and arsenal of trick arrows, sure does sound lame, but will you fight Ultron with only arrows? No.
   This Fucking guy has cojones. They are not the worst superheroes, because this actions are heroic, No wait let me raphrase that, they are Super-heroic actions, more heroic than Hulk, Superman and Thor.
   So this guys should not be here. Or the list should be renamed to probably “Silliest” or something else. But Robin and Hawkeye should not be here.

   After seeing the size of cojones you need to have in order to fight the killer croc or Ultron. I will have to say that the Sentry should be Number 1. He has an inmense ammount of power, but I will rather trust my life to Robin, Than the Sentry.
   The Sentry is the worst superhero of all time.
   and actually look arround for the worst superheroes of all time. You should research arround in books and the internet. Not only ask the guys in the office, that way you can really name something “the worst”, “the most powerful” or “the best”.

   RESEARCH!!!
9. #9 Alberto says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 5:39 pm

   You should actually put on this list all of the marvel familly.

   Captain Marvel hass all the power to match Superman’s and yet he always let the big blue to do the hard work.

   Mary Marvel, Captain Marvel Jr. They are even worse, theya let Captain Marvel to steal the show.

   Uncle Marvel should not be included in this list, because he has no super powers.

   The Super-horse, animal super friends.

   Black Bolt, has ever made a big impact on the marvel universe and he is the “second strongest” superhero in Marvel. Yes he is cool, but lets face it, has he ever done something really important?
   Even the Punisher is more important than Black Bolt in the Marvel Universe.

   This guys should be considered the worst superheroes. They have a lot of power and hardly ever make a difference, whenever they appear.
10. #10 KT says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    I think Robin is one of the most awesome superheroes. And the reason that for Robins names stems from his storyline. When he was a circus performer, his parents would sometimes refer to him as thier little “robin”, a play on thier name as the “Flying” Graysons, and for the acceptional athletic abilities he diplayed as part of thier trapize act. it was an affectionate pet name. when they were killed, he adapted the name as his hero identity.
11. #11 Forsejtildig says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    Did you just put the sentry on your “worst heroes ever” list when you also placed him nr. 6 on your “most powerful heroes ever”?
12. #12 gidi says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    Forsejtildig you are a dum bicth. The worst heroes ever title does not mean they are not powerfull.
13. #13 Forsejtildig says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 8:33 am

    Oh I love tough guys like you gidi…

    Big and strong behind your keyboard miles and miles away..

    Was just pointing out the oddness.. No reason for hostility..
14. #14 Forsejtildig says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 8:43 am

    Point taken btw.

    Would have worked without the “dumb bitch” remark though…
15. #15 wallyg says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 12:51 am

    ummm…..just a heads up too robins don’t eat birdseed. they live off of insects. other than that i agree with most the list
16. #16 faggotinabox says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:05 pm

    ant man should not be on there
17. #17 Justin says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:11 am

    Note on The Thing.I tohught he was the second strongest behind the Hulk?Colossus isn’t stronger than him.He is pretty gay though and annoying,a decent comedic relief though.
18. #18 Delta says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:41 am

    Actually Thing’s below strength of Thor, Wonder Man, possibly Colossus(he got quite a power-up since then), Hercules, Sentry, Silver Surfer and maybe She-Hulk. In addition to below Hulk, most of the time. And I could probably come-up with more after some research.
19. #19 dubious says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    Well by far the lamest was T from PT Marvel. He could sleep on command with a single bound of boring work.
20. #20 alex says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 1:09 am

    wow, not only are your choices totally WRONG (you diss Hawkeye? Really??), but you round out your worst list with a homophobically tainted remark. There’s nothing more inherently gay about Robin’s costume than any other superhero! In fact, most of the out of the closet mainstream gay heroes have dark costumes and powers!!

    The point of super heroes is not always to have some atom bending, mind melting powers; sometimes their look or concept can be interesting enough to produce good stories. (What isn’t interesting about an archer?? It plays into the Robin Hood mythos!)

    Robin is “lame” if you’re watching the ’60s tv show or any of the early SuperFriends cartoons; everyone knows that the Robin character has evolved into it’s own! The point of Robin is to contrast batman’s darker persona with that some color and light; to contrast the hardness of the bat with something softer (he’s a teenager for chrissakes!). Where batman is in eternal despair, Robin gives us hope.

    The only ones i agree with are Jubilee and Sentry. Even dazzler is pretty awesome (she converts sound into different kinds of light!)
21. #21 ShadowHunter says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 2:50 am

    God, remove Robin from the list! He’s a teen and he actually helped Batman with most of the Dark Knight villains!
22. #22 ShadowHunter says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 2:53 am

    Euh.. Aquaman is pretty much strong…