• Top 10 Types of People that Old-Wizard Hates

  

  Written by Zeromage 100 Comments
  Last Updated:: August 28, 2008

  As the readership of Old-Wizard knows, we have gripes with many different types of people. The most often cited people who we dislike are the Sega-heads who consistently claim that the Sega Genesis was better than the SNES. We have addressed this numerous times throughout many of our articles (top 5 worst video game websites), but we also gave them their due in our “top 5 best Sega games of all time“. What the Old-Wizard reader may not know though is that we have a lot of heat for more than just the Sega-head. We come across people every day that make us ask ourselves “Why do we have to live in this time”? While this may seem like too much of a gloomy disposition on our part, it is not without reason that certain people just tend to piss us off. We’ll go through these “types” in this list. We just hope that you’re not one of them!

  10. People who try to defend the Sega Genesis over the SNES

  We’ve had numerous encounters with these people throughout Old-Wizard history, yet they never seem to give up. The Sega lovers continually try to defend Sega over the SNES with Sonic and Shining Force as their main arguments as to why the Genesis was better. All the while they don’t realize the greatness of games like Illusion of Gaia, Secret of Evermore, and the Donkey Kong series. We don’t know if the Sega lovers just like taking the underdog’s side, or if they just like bad games. Is there ever point where they will give up their attachment to sub-par video games? From our experience, not in this lifetime. We do like Toe Jam and Earl though. Sega-heads never talk about this game though. This is curious as its one of the few good games for the system.

  9. People who think the latest Star Wars movies were good

  Some Star Wars fans just won’t admit that the latest Star Wars movies were dung. They can’t admit that the characters employed by Lucas in the prequel trilogy were geared more towards garnering a wider audience rather then being created for the loyal follower. These movies get boring after the first 30 minutes, and all the special effects and CGI do nothing to save the below average acting and even worse writing. The populace current that resides throughout these movies hinders the experience that we once gained through the original movies, where passion and purpose were the main expression of Lucas and Co. Some people get too attached to who they recognize when something is shit. These Star Wars fans piss us off.

  8. Bands who allow magazine writers to make them hold beer cans in photo shoots

  We can understand why magazine publishers and writers want pictures of bands that look like they’re wasted. This modern culture that prides itself on the imperative to enjoy is a signifier for these publishers to try to find these bands. But what band who really cared about its music would allow some cameraman to make them put a beer can in their hand during a photo shoot? You see this all the time too. Check out an edition of NME or Alternative Press and you’ll see what we mean. They are being forced to look like they’re having a fun time. This party rock attitude first stemmed from 60’s excess and the Stones imagery. While they came across as genuine in their hedonistic lifestyle, these new bands look like their trying to hard, and their music suffers for it. Take a closer look at the pictures and the music these bands play and you will see how shit they are.

  7. People who tie their hopes to a politician

  During this political season especially, people have tied their dreams to certain politicians to a sickening extent. All these canards of “hope and change” from these candidates are nothing but rhetoric founded in Greek sophistry. Man is responsible for himself. When things are going shit, its up to them to change their own outcome. No grandiose sounding politician is going to change anything for you. Sure, they may fool you into thinking everything is going to be great after their elected, but these promises usually end up as being empty speeches given in desperate attempts for power and recognition. Going to one of these political rallies is nothing but bread and circuses. People cheer like it’s a high school pep rally. Man doesn’t evolve with age. They just displace their immaturity to more commonly accepted social acts.

  6. People who don’t appreciate 16 bit gaming

  We consistently hear from people that our tastes on video games are too retro. While this was the point of the website to begin with, this isn’t the only reason why someone saying this would anger us. 16 bit gaming was the best era of video games of all time. It was the height of RPG’s, it was the introduction to the greatest video game system of all time in the SNES (which we cover in the top 10 video game systems of all time list). It was where we were introduced to Mario Kart. It’s where the greatest rivalry in gaming history happened between Sega and the SNES. In terms of quality of games, the best came from the 16 bit era. Who could argue against Secret of Mana, Final Fantasy 3, and Mario Kart as some of the greatest games of all time? Surely, games will advance in graphics and technology, but they will never have the soul and story lines of the 16-bit era.

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100 Comments

1. #1 Chris Gould says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 3:11 pm

   1. This start of the article IS funny, especially the SNES stuff (I was always on that side of the great devide). The end however is full of sound and fury, signifying nothing, and make an uneasy bedfellow to the earlier part, as if they turned the last ten minutes of Saturday Night Live into a public information film about STD’s. As for lightening up, I can assure you I’m pretty happy right now, as my enthusing over this historic nomination should have made clear.

   2. As to the wars, I never said the military actions wouldn’t have happened, but there is no doubt the Bush regime has mis-handled both conflicts, and I cant imagine that a Democratic leadership would have done any worse. And certainly wouldn’t have included the bizzare machinations of Donald Rumsfeld, a man who is very possibly ‘unwell’ in the mental sense. Whatever their faults, the democrats are the first step to proper secular values in the USA. Theres a long way to go, but you have to start somewhere.

   3. Personally I dont think the USA should dump Iraq immediately, that would be irresponsible, having made a mess its the USA’s reponsibility to help clean it up. Its a shame American soldiers arn’t given proper training, or even proper briefings before key missions, but having banged-up the country its only right that they stick around for the abortion.

   4. And please dont insult my intelligence by suggesting that I’m an automatic America-Basher, espcially when I’ve just praised your country for overcoming long-term predjudices, we in the UK certainly have never a black politician as high-profile as Obama, more’s the pity. What Russia has to do with the situation is beyond me, you know the Holy Roman Empire were pretty dodgy as well… As were the British.
   America is not the greatest threat to world peace and prosperity… That honor goes to Religion, to which many Americans are unfortunatly inclined, as are other delusionals the world over.
2. #2 old-wizard.com says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 3:17 pm

   Hey, I liked the Holy Roman Empire.
3. #3 Chris Gould says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 3:21 pm

   I think it lost it’s appeal when they stopped feeding Christians to the Lions. Ave!

   Incidently, have you ever heard the phrase ‘Post-Modernism means never having to say that you’re sorry?’
4. #4 Bug says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 3:25 pm

   Are you singing Idlewild lyrics? I hope so.
5. #5 old-wizard.com says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 3:25 pm

   Not sure how this post turned into a discussion about whether America or Russia is currently the world’s most dangerous imperialist power, but I guess that’s what makes OW so great.

   And Chris let’s not leave the British Empire out of the discussion. I think you guys should stop repressing Saint Helena Island.
6. #6 Chris Gould says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 3:27 pm

   Isn’t she married to Tim Burton now?
7. #7 Mighty the armadillo says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 6:55 pm

   This article is a load of crap and will anger a lot of people like me, yes I am a sega fan and no not everything in that list was true and not snes is not better then the sega it’s the other way around. How dare this article be biast to people thats just wrong I hate this site and will no longer come here good day to you all.
8. #8 Mike says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 9:27 pm

   I dislike you for acknowledging the term “Bohemian” as a fashion trend without putting quotations around it since it is absurd that Bohemian is even used to describe a lifestyle when Bohemia was once a country; use gypsy or psuedo hippie or something else…

   Bohemia was a country, and this website is too intelligible to use Bohemian inappropriately.

   You should dislike the people that use the term Bohemian as a fashion statement. That is supposing that one could be a Turkish Liberal or be part of a Slavic Hipster fad.
9. #9 old-wizard.com says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 11:32 pm

   Mike:

   Stop being so Catalonian.
10. #10 Quark says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 4:26 pm

    This is hands down the best thing I’ve ever read. It’s like you pulled these right out of my head.
11. #11 Nate says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    Reading this list has completely changed my opinion of you guys. I may go back through your older lists now with a different mindset. Nice work.
12. #12 Dave Matthews Fan says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    How about this list INSTEAD?:

    Murderers
    Pedophiles
    Racists
    Terrorists
    Republicans
    Thieves
    Rapists
    Warlords
    Christian Fundamentalists
    Islamic Fundamentalists
13. #13 Josh says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 9:54 pm

    3 things for those critisizing the list:
    1) it’s called satire. you know, humor?

    2) the only time politicians affect people is when they either don’t do anything, or do the wrong thing (like lower taxes and increase spending (GOP), or raise taxes and spending(Dems), or when they enact socialist policies (Obama)).

    3) FREE SPEECH!!!!! I’m going to assume that you’ve all heard of it, and that you don’t believe that the 1st Ammendment doesn’t only apply to you.

    now please, get a sense of humor and get over yourself.
14. #14 Dave Matthews Fan Is a Moron says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 10:03 pm

    Couldn’t agree with Josh more. Guys, this isn’t the New York Times…Its a BLOG. A pretty non-serious blog at that. If you’ve ever visited this site before you would know when you saw the title of this post not to expect serious answers to be anywhere NEAR it. If I had seen DMB Fan’s list a couple comments above mine instead of the OldWizard’s list, I probably wouldn’t visit this site again. Also, what the fuck kind of name is that? Dave Matthew’s Fan?!? I think you clicked on the wrong link. This isn’t Old-White-Hat-Wearing-Preppy-Hippy… It’s Old-Wizard. Thankfully.
15. #15 Vintage Junkie says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 4:22 am

    Cool list. I completely agree with it.
16. #16 Lovely Apple says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    This might be the first list to include ‘business suit wearers’ and ‘beer drinking belly out relatives’ as part of their top 10 most disliked people. It might even be the first time these people were ever included on any top 10 list at all. So congratulations on your strange aversions. IF you guys ever got boring and started writing generic obvious lists, then you’d just suck in a very average and dull way, which is probably the worst way to suck. It’s refreshing to read something less obvious and more humourous. You guys are a fun bunch of weirdos. Love you the way you are, don’t change.
17. #17 Ryan says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    “We don’t know if the Sega lovers just like taking the underdogs side, or they just like games that are worse than what they could be playing? Is there ever point where they will give up their attachment to sub-par video games? From our experience, not in this lifetime. We do like Toe Jam and Earl though. Sega-heads never talk about this game though. This is curious as its one of the few good games for the system.”

    “6. People who don’t appreciate 16 bit gaming”

    lol.
18. #18 Kevin says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 12:38 am

    I’ll fully admit to hating some of these people.
19. #19 Kevin says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 12:41 am

    btw I think its hilarious that Courtney called this list “dangerous” as if its a threat to national security. LOL.
20. #20 Ed says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 12:43 am

    How about people who listen to music they don’t really like just to fit into a particular scene?
21. #21 The Emperor's Wrinkles says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 12:48 am

    Couldn’t agree more with most of these picks…But people who don’t appreciate the 16-bit era? Sorry but I haven’t really run into too many of those people on the streets.
22. #22 old-wizard.com says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 12:48 am

    That’s because they’re not on the streets. They are mainly found on rooftops.
23. #23 Sega Fan says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 12:56 am

    “The sad thing is, the first few items in this list were funny. Light frothy stuff, perfect for a quick laugh. But then came the bitterness, and ill-informed political statements. There’s nothing funny about a right-winger trying to disguise their predjudice and fear of change as humor.”

    Chris: Have you ever visited this site before this post? I’ve come to expect bitterness, ill-informed opinions and prejudice from this site.
24. #24 Blue Man says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 12:58 am

    You forgot “People Who Continue to Try to Stir Up Console Wars that Have Been Over With For Almost a Decade”.
25. #25 m1a1 says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 4:42 am

    Oh yeah, Aaron, i agree with u about ‘work day go by faster…’. My work days are too.
26. #26 Slappy Whyte says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:47 pm

    youre Blog Carnival article submission linked here:

    http://megasizzle.com/uncategorized/links-to-the-best-megasizzle-blog-carnival-submissions/
27. #27 Glynn says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 4:12 am

    More people to dislike:

    People who when speaking constantly use the word “like”, interrupted occasionally by a spoken brain fart in the vein of “uhhh…” or “you know”.

    People who suffer from depression. Yeah, we all know the world sucks and everything is hopeless. Now let’s all stop what we’re doing to notice how sad YOU are, you narcissistic fuck.

    People who are children. Not all children, but most of them are little shits. Today some shitfuck neighbors kids came upstairs by my apartment to tattle on my five year old for calling them “losers”. I felt a strong urge to push these kids down the stairs for wasting two minutes of my life. (And I was proud of my kid for calling them “losers”.)

    People on myspace. Yes, we understand you work out. Thanks for all the shirtless pictures. You’re, like, totally hot. Also, OMG the pics of you and all your friends drinking BEER and LIQUOR! You guys are so crazy, and presumably fun to be around as well!

    People who offer to “let you borrow” stuff, then weeks later return to ask you for an inconvenient favor since they let you borrow their PS2, guitar, Simpsons DVD collection, etc.

    People who hate their jobs and are intent on reminding everyone of this. It sucks that you hate your job, because everyone else really LOVES theirs.

    Wow… I could go on all day. Good article!
28. #28 Rutvergas says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    Amazing article. I like ther category “Bohemian Liberal”. Ha. You guys think a lot
29. #29 Dav says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:18 am

    This website continues to drag me into the depths of madness with their inane list-making, yet for some reason I continue to flip through the pages looking for that article covering the top 5 worst systems of all time so that I may properly unleash the fury.
30. #30 Ky-Guy says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 1:21 am

    About #10: What about people who like Nintendo and Sega equally? I’m just asking you because I am one of those people. I love the Game Boy and Game Gear equally. I love the Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis equally. I thought they both did really well during the 16-bit era.
31. #31 blah says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 11:06 am

    Old-Wizard is the best site EVAR!!!
32. #32 tim says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 1:19 am

    I fucking hate you guys, but this is your best article.
33. #33 andy says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 10:35 pm

    The 16-bit generation was when action games were at their peak, not RPGs.

    I’m glad you put Sega-fans on the list, but there is a different reason why I don’t like them. I myself personally like the games on the Sega Genesis but I also like the games on the Super Nintendo also. Sega fanboys always start stupid flame wars where blabber on bullshit and bullshit about how the Sega Genesis is so much better than the Super Nintendo, it makes me want to puke.

    It also bothers me that the Super Nintendo fanboys always make thier posts all whimpy whimpy whimpy. Why talk about how much you love crappy overrated games like Final Fantasy and Chrono Trigger if you know Sega fanboys are just make fun of you.

    Talk about all the cool games on the Super Nintendo like Space Megaforce, Cybernator, Sparkster, Wild Gun, Smash TV, ect, and they’ll see the Super Nintendo isn’t the whimpy system everybody including Wikipedia makes it out to be.

    The entire 16-bit generation is misrepresented on the internet, just because all the cool people who played games to have fun, all were smart and got jobs and had girlfriends, while only the stupid nerds who only played games for graphics, and liked faggot games like Final Fantasy and Chrono Trigger, just because they like the music having realistic instraments, and they have NO taste in melody or even if the instraments nomatter how bad the actual music is.

    I actually like video game music sounding synthesized, because if I want to hear real music I listen to the radio, when I want to listen to fake music, I listen to video game music. I listen to video game music wanting it to be video game music, and when video game music sounds realistic, I’m unsatisfied because I didn’t get video game music like I wanted.

    There is also more to good music than just realism. There is melody and there is the “prettiness” of the instrament and how well it fits into the melody. I have to say this loud and clear REALISTIC INSTRAMENTS AREN’T ALWAYS THE PRETTIEST INSTRUMENTS!!!!!!! I’m tired of keeping it in and I know I’m going to be flamed by idiot gamers but it is true. I’m tired of stupid geeks blabber about video game music, pretending they are music experts, when their not even interested in the music anyway, and only the “sound quality” of the music.

    And what’s all this crap about nerds liking video games. Everybody keeps embarrassing themselves on the internet thinking it’s funny, but I find it depressing and sometimes uncomfortable. I like video games, but I don’t look like that. I have a lot of friends at school, but sometimes my friends can’t hang out all the time, so I still have a lot of free-time. I myself has a life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have any spare time to waste by playing video games.

    Back to the 16-bit generation being misrepresented on the internet. Everybody is so retardedly stupid that they can’t remember their childhood of playing videogames at all, and only know things about the 16-bit generation entirely from what they read. Just because you here something on game websites like GameFags doesn’t mean they’re true.

    That’s what I’ve been keeping in my mind about the internet for several years and I HAD to let it all out.
34. #34 sg-1000 says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:37 am

    Top person I hate.

    1) Old Wizard.

    You guys are honestly the worst people out there.
    To say a man with a business suit is a bad type of person is an invalid arguement.
    Have you ever heard of murders, terrorists, people who use distortion.
    You have nothing better to say, then rant about normal individuals in soceity.
    And if this article was suppose to be funny. Sorry I missed the point.
35. #35 Chase357 says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 10:16 am

    I think this is a great list. I don’t agree with the business suit thing because FBI agents wear business suits and the do actually do something of value. Other than that you’re pretty much right. Bohemian liberals disgust me with their stupidity, especially how they pretend to be the smartest people when in actuality they’re quite the opposite.
36. #36 TrixRabbi says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 3:23 am

    Sega Genesis was a solid system in it’s own right with plenty of good games. SNES just had more.
37. #37 George says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 1:38 am

    Id’ve responded earlier, but I’m dealing with what is most likely bronchitis.

    Everything you posted here is true, but Phantom Menace and Revenge of the Sith while not great movies, were some of the most fun I’ve ever had in a theater. Even Attack of the Clones, the only one of the films that has more problems that redeeming qualities, was a lot of fun seeing at the end.

    They have many problems, and aren’t at the original films level, but they weren’t that, bad. I know that I saw them through different eyes than either of you, but I’ll maintain that stance. You may begin throwing things.

    The Matrix sequels, and Alien 3 & 4 however are abominations!
38. #38 Darkest Lord says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 3:50 am

    I have to say Im shocked you put super religeous on #2. Seriously wth.
39. #39 Very Old Wizard says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 12:06 am

    The problem with OW is that it recycles throughout their lists the same arguments. It’s like if they want to brainwash me.

    Im aking a list of “You know you are reading OW” because you will always read, no matter what they are talking about, that:

    Mario is a god

    MArio 3 is the best game

    Metroid has the best bosses

    Final fantasy 3 and secret of mana were on SNES

    New games with good graphics are FPS and they suck

    Attack anything that is new

    And that they have the ability to see the future because:

    “Surely, games will advance in graphics and technology, but they will never have the soul and story lines of the 16-bit era.”

    HOW DO YOU KNOW??? it’s like if Atari people would have said back in the day “no matter how good in graphics and storyline would get that NES thing, they will never have the soul of the Atari.”
40. #40 Roberto says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    im starting to dig the new look old-chubby.com. would like to see new material go along with it
41. #41 Avi says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 10:55 am

    i can understand som1 liking sega over snes:Sonic, Goldenaxe, Toejam and Earl, Shining Force, Vectorman, Streets of Rage, Castlevania:Bloodlines, Phantasy Star Online, Sonic 2, Ecco, and the Sonic & Knuckles cart, I prefer the SNES, but I like SEGA also.
42. #42 Seldon says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    Damn this fucking list was hilarious. This site rocks.
43. #43 Crush says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    This website is asanine.
44. #44 avi says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 11:53 am

    (I agree about super-religious types though.
45. #45 tonny says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 1:50 am

    This was hilarious
46. #46 Ky-Guy says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 3:21 am

    What about people who like the SNES and the Sega Genesis equally? I think they’re both good systems with really good games.
47. #47 Rabo Karabekian says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 6:33 am

    I like this, I like it. aside from all of the pseudo-intellectualism, it’s a good list of goodness.