• Top 10 Nerd Musicians of All Time

  

  Written by destructomaximo 10 Comments
  Last Updated:: September 3, 2007

  So since pretty much the beginning of time nerds and music have gone hand in hand, yet there has never been a top ten musical nerds list! WTF? There seems to be a non-explicable status jump from high school band geek to ultra-cool band dude. Is this enigma a natural cocoon cycle? Is there some hibernation period where nerds wrap up puberty while growing their hair out, learning licks, and waiting for their clothes to become chic? I think the answer is yes, but I also think these hipsters never loose their nerdiness…and this is the summer of the nerd. You have Dinosaur Jr. and seBADoh making comebacks, Weezer announcing a new album, every songwriter in the world wears cheap black plastic frames, nerdiness in music has never been more prevalent! So here’s MY list: Top Ten musical nerds. Enjoy!

  #10 Dave Mustane (Megadeath)

  Could have been numero uno in his hay-day, the ultimate evil genius of rock put nothing but intelligent and political rants into a genre known for being superficial.

  #9 Steve Malkmus (Pavement, The Jicks)

  I should begin by noting that Pavement is one of my all time favorite bands. You just picture this guy as the too-intelligent-for-his-own-good brat in the back of the class making smarmy comments to the teacher. With lyrics like “you could be my candy striper, junior leaguer, bed pan wiper, convalescent, enema-escent, I live to be gray!” you know cool was never a priority.

  #8 Matt Sharp (Weezer, The Rentals)

  Thought the moog died with ELP? Think again. One of two Weezers to make the list, Matt invented the emaciated lanky nerd-rock genre.

  #7 John Medeski (Medeski, Martin, and Wood)

  Anyone whose ever listened to this band knows the most complicated time changes and creepy noises have come forth from this guy’s hands. The nerd factor? Aside from making Jazz cool for the kids, there are NO EFFECTS on those keys. In concert he’s surrounded by a small room of keyboards and organs. By playing several of them at a time he makes supersonic love to our ears with mathematical precision.

  #6 Gift of Gab (Blackalicious)

  Granted, Blackalicious is a gangster-ass name for a group; but with songs like Chemical Calystenics with the lyrics “Biotch I’m only ill with buzzin’, feel the ambiance

  A diabetic process oughta calm your ass

  After I warm your ass, I’ll give sodium silicate N-O-2-S-1-O-3, a water glass

  Borax flexure full of brimstone sulfur

  Boraxic acid, hip-hop preserver

  C-O-2 could never put away the fire

  Style aroma is scientific; the lyrical fuse would be connected

  To teach you chemical calisthenics,” he made the list.

  #5 Andrew Bird

  The only rock star I know famous for playing the hell out of a tin whistle…

  #4 Thom Yorke (Radiohead)

  2+2=5 abstract mathematics? Enough said.

  #3 Lou Barlow (Sebadoh, Sentridoh, Folk Implosion, Dinosaur Jr.)

  Google his pic. Add it to songs like “Elixer is Zog” and “Magnet’s Coil” and you get nerd epitomized.

  #2 Wayne Coyne (The Flaming Lips)

  The man wrote and produced an indie flick called “Christmas on Mars” and sings epic battle songs like ”The Gash,” all the while insisting he doesn’t do drugs.

  #1 Rivers Cuomo(Weezer)

  Ivy leaguer who grew up on a commune quasi-separated from any normal social settings, pines over girls who play the cello, AND he went into a years long self imposed celibacy in the hopes of waiting for his one true love (who he secretly crushed on for years before marrying her). That’s love, nerd love.

10 Comments

1. #1 Tristan says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 12:04 am

   Honorable mentions: Julian Cope (voracious rock critic with a band), David Byrne (no introduction needed), The Feelies (proto-Weezer).
2. #2 Noel's Nose says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 11:46 pm

   Doesn’t Morrissey count, or is he too perfectly formulated for a pop star to count?
3. #3 GE says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 12:11 am

   Props for Steven Malkmus. My stepmother knows him, but then again her brother-in-law is in the Silver Jews.
4. #4 Mr. Vorhias says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 4:03 am

   Come on, man!

   They Might Be Giants!
   Ween!
   MC Frontalot!

   Where’re they??
5. #5 Turdhat says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 4:37 am

   Uhh…Andrew Bird just whistles.

   obvious omissions: Devo and Weird Al Yankovic.
   Pathetic.
6. #6 DM says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 5:52 pm

   Turd:

   True, I wrote this just after hearing Bird and couldn’t believe that sound just came from him…my bad.

   also, i thought devo, Al, MC Paul B, and others were too obviously playing off of the dork vibe to include.
7. #7 The Nerd says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 12:14 pm

   With no Weird Al, this list is an epic fail.
8. #8 The Nerd says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 12:15 pm

   WTF is this?

   “Your comment is being moderated. We are currently destroying the illusion of free speech to which you hold so dear…we are in control. “
9. #9 IPL says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 12:08 pm

   Great list!
10. #10 Slash says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    Where’s Beck?