• Top 10 Characters From Punch Out!

  

  Written by Zeromage 9 Comments
  Last Updated:: April 24, 2008

  Mike Tyson’s Punchout was one of the best games for the NES. It had great game play that was neither too complex nor too simple. The game’s duration was a perfect length, employing a simple password technology to start you off at the first fighter of a respective circuit. What really made Punchout so successful though, was all it’s well-designed and well-thought-out characters ranging from the drunk to the arrogant, to the flat out awfully skilled fighters. Each had their own charisma or lack there of. Each had their own mid-round parlance reflecting their own personalities that were guided by their various cultures. Super Punchout for the SNES would continue the tradition adding more color and graphic technology to all the fighters and even reinstating many of the fighters from Mike Tyson’s Punchout such as Bald Bull, Mr. Sandman, and the overly tan Super Macho Man. It was imperative for us at Old-Wizard to come up with the definitive “best of” list for the Punchout and Super Punchout characters combined. There were some fighters we left off that we wish we didn’t have to leave off like Mr. Sandman and 3 or 4 fighters from Super Punchout such as Nick Bruiser, Bob Charley, and Masked Muscle. But as with all lists, omissions are always necessary. Still, we are confident you will enjoy our picks, especially our number 1 pick.

  
  10. Von Kaiser

  This German born bruiser was born in the heights of southern Germany. While not any sort of a real challenge to little Mac, he appears efficient and German in his fighting style. He has trouble evading most punches, is easily stunned and takes immediate falls at the hint of one small uppercut. His German fighting style is augmented by his 20th century German prose in between rounds often being heard saying concise epigrams such as “Surrender! Or I will conquer you!” or “I will teach you a lesson! You will fall down!” It had to be the case that anyone this stereotypically naziesque would be easy to defeat, to reinsure the player of the atrocities committed by Nazi Germany in the 30’s. Adding to the German stereotyping was Von Kaisers entrance theme which was a segment of Wagner’s “Ride of The Valkyries”, and let’s not forget that magnificent Nietzsche mustache that Von Kaiser wore. At a skinny 144 pounds with not much physical power or height though, his culture idiosyncrasies pertaining to panzer power would not be analogized. He’s a fighter you feel good about beating because he’s not the first opponent who’s basically impossible to lose to. You grow as a fighter whomping on Van Kaiser, knowing you are beating on one of Germany’s best. Not even his totalitarian diction can keep you from fighting a good fight against him.

  9. Don Flamenco

  Don Flamenco was a romantic Spaniard, dancing to the ring with a rose in his mouth, winking at all the nymphs in the audience awaiting his graceful victory over lesser opponents. Don’t let Flamenco’s coquettish charm enslave you for to long though or you will be on the canvas dreaming about other things besides being on a date with Flamenco drinking red wine in the most bourgeois of fine dinning establishments. Flamenco has a mighty uppercut and endurance that will make him last throughout all the rounds Punchout has to offer. His weakness is clearly his defense as he can’t shake the most conspicuous of sliding jabs. When you face Flamenco again is when his endurance becomes a real threat to Little Mac’s conquest towards being dominated by Mike Tyson. Flamingo rolls with the punches like Mohammad Ali facing George Forman VIA “Rumble in the Jungle”. Among other characteristic of Don Flamenco are his memorable in-between round lines reflecting his persistent interest in his hair and other men’s hair. We remember after one round with him, he states eloquently, “”People like my hair. Don’t mess my hair!”, and after the second round surprisingly saying, “Hey Mr. Referee Mario. I like your hair!” giving the player the one and only time anyone ever reflected on Mario’s hair. While Don Flamenco is just an average fighter for little Mac to waste, it’s his indigenous Spanish jig and parlance that make him a top 10 character in the Punchout series.

  8. Little Mac

  Little Mac was the hero throughout Mike Tyson’s Punchout showing valor in the face of much bigger and stronger opponents. We would witness little Mac running behind his manager Doc Louis riding a bicycle in the nighttime and daytime behind an effulgent scene of New York City and the statue of liberty. While little Mac showed much valor in his fights of bigger opponents, he was not without his lachrymose wimpyness, often crying in-between rounds he was losing even if he had only been knocked down once. Nonetheless, with Doc Louis having years of experience behind him, little Mac would go on to beat the greats of the video game boxing world, even knocking down Mike Tyson when prepared properly. His uppercut would prove to be devastating as some opponents would stay on the canvas after a wallop from little Mac’s fist. His toughness can be attributed to living in the inner city of the New York City borough of the Bronx like Mike Tyson. One wonders if they ever came across each other on the street and tacitly respected each others boxing moves. Only time would tell as they would meet each other in the middle of the ring for the final showdown of Punchout for the NES. Between Doc Louis’s hard training and resiliency in procuring the world championship belt, little Mac would prove to be little in stature, but not so little in heart.

  7. Bald Bull

  Bald Bull makes his first appearance in the Major circuit of Mike Tyson’s Punchout. He’s big, ugly and powerful, but this native from Turkey is known mostly for one of the most famous personal moves in the series, known as the “Bull Charge”. With one charge ending in an uppercut, little Mac would be down with trouble getting back up. The first true challenge of Mike Tyson’s Punchout stood in Bald Bull. Before him, all of little Mac’s opponents were fairly easy to beat. It’s with Bald Bull that we meet the first boxer to knock down little Mac in one punch. He would make his appearance again later in the first installment in the World Circuit where he would attempt revenge on our Bronx protagonist. “This time I’m going to charge right over you”, Bald Bull would quip at his nagging opponent. Here, the Bull Charge would be about double the speed and slightly more random in the uppercut throw making it difficult for Mac to last past 1 round if not properly accustomed to the technique. What Bald Bull lacked in defense and in brains, he more than made up for in power and brute strength. He would get an aesthetic make-over in Super Punch Out, although staying the same as a fighter, if not slightly easier than the Bald Bull of the first installment. Bald Bull’s worst shortcoming though was his hole in his boxer shorts. All the glory he would gain from defeating an opponent would be diminished by everyone seeing the haggard shorts he was wearing. His demonic laugh at a knocked down opponent would only make the viewer laugh at the sight of Bald Bull’s ignorance of his own undergarments. As always, what makes us laugh in condescension always gets a place on any of our lists.

  6. Mad Clown

  Mad clown was clearly the most aesthetically colorful fighter in the Punchout series. This Italian loaf was one of the more difficult opponents in Super Punchout as his hugging attacks could take you down to low energy quickly. Also among Mad Clowns jocular repertoire is his juggling balls which he could throw at you from all angles. After he would throw balls at you (sometimes 3 at a time) he would come crashing down at you with a double punch to the face. If you couldn’t avoid this, you were half way to losing the battle. His slide uppercuts would also prove to be harmful taking down a little less than a quarter of energy every time he hit you with it. Like all fat boxers, the key to beating him was smashing his face in as his fat belly could not be penetrated with all the bread cells protecting him. Trying to hit him in the belly would evoke a subtle laughter as this consummate comedian would be laughing at your expense. “How could this idiot think he could do damage to me” was what was going on in Mad Clowns mind at the sight of an inexperienced boxer. Once you got the hang of his maneuvers, Mad Clown would become easy and would want to be played over again with the knowledge that he could be beaten fairly quickly. But when you first encounter him, you are in for a rude awakening, as the jokes on you when he uses illegal techniques to knock you to the mat laughing at your pedestrian attempts at boxing.

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9 Comments

1. #1 Longshanks Magoo says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 10:45 pm

   Funny list. Nice job!
2. #2 Tristan says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 2:56 am

   When I think of the second Punch-Out, I fondly recall taking out Bob Charley in 7 seconds and taking out Nick Bruiser in 30. It was much more exploitable than its predecessor.
3. #3 Jelly says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 4:37 pm

   good list
4. #4 Shit. says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 2:31 am

   Lame.
5. #5 Durham1984 says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 8:54 am

   Haha, good list, I love Joe Being number one! Only person I would have maybe added is Piston Honda.
6. #6 Shitkicker says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 11:55 am

   I can understand why Glass Joe is number one. Since he’s the only guy they could beat.