• The Beer Guide For Nerds: Part 1

  

  Written by destructomaximo 17 Comments
  Last Updated:: September 27, 2008

  True nerds, as we all know, are not solely stuck on Star Wars and algorithms. A nerd wants to understand every single particle of their universe. This superhuman thirst for knowledge sometimes comes at the expense of social interaction. How can we be expected to want to engage in conversation with people who don’t know the difference between a theory and a hypothesis, let alone how to develop either before they decide to open their loud mouths? Although I digress, there is a method to my mentioning thirst and mouths, and that is beer. I brew my own beer, and when I do so it looks more like a high school chemistry class than a kitchen. There are sterile gloves, lab coats, Pyrex beakers and graduated cylinders, gas burners, thermometers and hydrometers, and three glorious ingredients that, through several stages of reactions, produce the fruits of man’s greatest scientific experiments: beer, my friends, beer.

  Alas! Beer has been bastardized by heathens who forgo science (and therefore taste) to supply automatons with mass produced, flavorless swill for mass consumption! If people who can’t think for themselves want to drink this sugary, watered-down garbage, more power to them. Their beverage choice makes it very easy to exclude them as possible conversationalists. For us nerds, however, the beer you choose speaks volumes about your nerdiness. To help you in your decisions, I give you:

  THE BEER GUIDE FOR NERDS.

  IPA (India Pale Ale)

  

  History: If it were not for the IPA, you may not be alive right now. The brew gets its name from the English, who sent it off on the ships headed out in search of spices. IPA’s are packed with hops (the flower attributed to the majority of beers flavor), as hops are a fantastic preservative. The hops gave the beer a long enough shelf life to keep the sailors hydrated and scurvy free on their extended voyages. One expedition ran out of beer, and in a panic headed for shore as soon as shore was visible. The shore they stopped on would prove more historical than the world’s longest beer run, it was Plymouth, MA, and I think we know the rest of this story.

  

  Nerd Alert: History and Philosophy nerds can be found sipping the bitter, complexly floral (and usually highly alcoholic) ale at the candle lit tables of pubs around the world. The IPA’s amber/cherry hue glows under the flame and perfectly accents the heated conversations of the historian’s mind. The American brewer often takes this beer as a challenge to see just how much complexity they can pack into it without allowing it to become too bitter, just like a philosopher!

  Recommendations: North Coast’s Acme IPA, Lagunitas IPA

  Coming soon:
  Porter
  Belgian
  Lager
  Barley wine
  Cask ale
  …and more!

17 Comments

1. #1 Alex says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 12:44 pm

   Nice article. Looking forward to the second installment.
2. #2 Jeff says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 12:47 pm

   Thanks for including that informative map…
3. #3 Corey says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 1:57 pm

   nice job on this one!
4. #4 The Mountain says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 3:42 pm

   Awsome read. Can’t wait for the next
5. #5 robert w says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 6:58 pm

   beer is good

   stay away from Crown Royal. damn canadians
6. #6 TheGamesta says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 8:12 pm

   While I prefer a Double IPA style, those were both excellent recommendations! North coast brewing is one of my favorite breweries. North Coast’s Old Rasputin Imperial Stout is one of my top 5 favorite beers ever. Along with stouts/porters I’m a huge hophead, bring on the Barley Wines!!!
7. #7 George says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 8:58 pm

   My dad recently brewed some Indian Pale Ale, its good. It also looks more like a science experiment than a kitchen. You people are kings amongst men. I know that this request is not beer, but can you do meed, if not, try Porter.
8. #8 old-wizard.com says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 9:36 pm

   if there’s interest, we’ll definitely try to get to it at some point. keep the requests coming…
9. #9 DM says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 10:58 pm

   I actually just took a class on mead…but in order to make it properly you need a butt-load of honey which is super expensive with the bee shortage….Maybe I’ll bite the bullet and buy some and throw it up(wow…no pun intended, please imbibe responsibly, kids) soon.
10. #10 Sarah says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 11:24 pm

    Enjoyed this article. Good work.
11. #11 Rob says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    Ah beer, the nectar of the gods!
12. #12 jimmykiss says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    i drink iced beers so i guess we can’t be friends
13. #13 DM says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 8:48 pm

    WTF is an iced-beer??? like bud-ice, or natty-ice? those are (technically) lagers, but you’re right…we can’t be friends.
14. #14 Justin says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 4:01 am

    Stay away form Crown Royal?You obviously can’t drink if oyu can’t drink whiskey.Also damn Canadians…good luck in the future without Canada by your side.
15. #15 Bubba says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    Great article! Reading his made me want to get drunk right now!