We could argue all day long about who has better powers, Thor or the Silver Surfer. One could bring up the fact that Thor has gone toe to toe with a Celestial, or how the Silver Surfer has defeated Primordial gods. But we would be doing that all day long. Truth be told, the two heroes are pretty much at the same power level. But when we actually read the comics where these two heavy weights have actually fought each other, we see a different story. Thor has consistently bested the Surfer when the two have fought.

Call it PIS (Plot Induced Stupidity) if you want to, but Thor has defeated the Silver Surfer before on not just one, but several occasions. If you haven’t already, take a look at Silver Surfer #4, where Loki (Thor’s evil half brother) attempts to use the Silver Surfer to defeat Thor. He tricks the Surfer into attacking the god of thunder. During the fight, Loki even augments the Silver Surfer’s powers with his own, after which the Surfer says that he has never felt that powerful before. He also claims that Thor’s hammer is far more powerful than his own power cosmic. To quote the Silver Surfer himself, “I have seen his mallet’s magic, it is truly mightier than my cosmic force!” Also keep in mind that this comic was authored by none other than Stan Lee himself. It’s hard to find a higher authority about the Marvel Universe than that.

On another occasion (Warlock and Infinity Watch #23) Thor defeated the Silver Surfer AND Adam Warlock. This occurred AFTER Thor had already beaten Beta Ray Bill and the Silver Surfer. After Bill was knocked unconscious, the Silver Surfer stood alone and was defeated, until the arrival of Adam Warlock. The two teamed up, and together they also lost and were forced to retreat.

The evidence from the comic books themselves is clear. Every time they have faced off, Thor has defeated the Silver Surfer. Even when the Surfer’s powers were augmented, or when he had help from various allies, Thor has won. This by itself is strong evidence that Thor is more powerful than the Silver Surfer, despite what Wizard magazine says. Not only that, but Thor has even defeated a hungry Galactus (The Silver Surfer’s on again, off again master, and the one who bestowed the power cosmic to the Silver Surfer) all by himself, forcing the big G to retreat. Again, I stress that Galactus was hungry (as anyone reading this probably knows, he is far weaker the longer he has gone without devouring a planet) but even still, you’re never going to see Captain America or Spiderman defeat a hungry Galactus.

So in order to finish this debate once and for all we here at OW have finally finished THE list of the most powerful superheros. This is it folks. As every faithful reader knows that we here at OW are always right, we have proved it in the past. There can no longer be any debate. No more argument required. This list has taken us years to complete, and has threatened to destroy all that is OW. While making this list there was lots arguing, name calling, some shouting, a little bit of snuggling, more shouting, lots of your momma’s, but we finally came up with the definitive list of the most powerful superheroes of all time. We can’t be more clear on that last point, this is it. None of what you are about to read is opinion, it is fact. Next time one of your nerd buddies starts to argue you need only refer to this list, kindly pat him the head a give him one of the problems listed above to argue about. Here’s how we did it. First we excluded all super villains, this is heroes only, next we eliminated all exorbitantly overpowered cosmic beings (Phoenix, Odin, or the Highfather). And finally we ignored all heroes that would be considered ‘normal’ but have similar powers as those listed below. Then we plugged in all the facts and figures into the OW super computer and waited. Exactly 137 days later the answer was spit out. It then took us one year to figure out what that answer meant. Finally its over, these are the most powerful superheroes. Fact.

10. The Green Lantern (Hal Jordan)

Despite coming in at number 10, The Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) is one tough hombre. As a member of the Green Lantern Corps, he wields a power ring that can generate a variety of effects and energy constructs, sustained purely by the ring wearer’s strength of will. The greater the user’s willpower, the more effective the ring. The limits of the power ring’s abilities are never defined, but it has been referred to as “the most powerful weapon in the universe” on more than one occasion. It’s precious. Over the years, the ring has been shown capable of accomplishing almost anything within the imagination of the ring bearer. Often the rings are used to form solid-light constructs, the power and size of which are limited only by the ring-bearer’s willpower. And, if that wasn’t powerful enough, DC recently (in 2006) retconned the ring’s longtime lack of effect on yellow objects, stating that the ring-bearer need only feel fear and overcome it in order to affect yellow objects. With his protective bubbles and mean green energy bursts, the Green Lantern has fought with, and at varying times against, such heavyweights as Superman and Captain Marvel. But he’s still no match for number 9 on our list…

9. Doctor Strange

Earth’s Sorcerer Supreme, Doctor Steven Strange, has unparalleled sagicity of the mystic arts, and stands as humanity’s first and last line of defense against all magic-based menaces that threaten our dimension. I think Doc Strange is probably one of the more powerful characters in the Marvel Universe, and light years ahead of any of the crappy sorcerers from DC (although Zatanna is way hotter). Given that he can do pretty much anything that the person who is currently writing him can imagine, he could potentially beat any of the other characters in this list. In fact, he could probably beat some of them by simply wiggling his finger. Of course this assumes that he would enough time to do so. The problem is that most of the other heroes on this list won’t give him even that small amount of time. His lack of super speed, super reaction time, super senses and any sort of super human invulnerability, make Dr. Strange one of the easiest characters to defeat on this list. For this reason alone we put Dr. Strange at #5. If he had unlimited prep time before each fight, he could easily be number one on this list.

8. Black Bolt

Our seventh most powerful superhero of all time is Black Bolt, the king of the offshoot of humanity known as the inhumans. Black Bolt has often been described as one of the most powerful superheroes in the Marvel universe by other heroes, and for good reason. Through electron gathering and manipulation, Black Bolt can increase any aspect of his physical nature to superhuman levels, including his strength, speed, stamina and durability. In times of great need, he can channel this power into a single devastating punch called “The Master Blow”. He can also harness the electrons for matter transformation; the controlled projection of energy as concussive blasts or quasi-solid particle/electron fiends, broadcasting jamming frequencies, and flight. But Black Bolt’s most salient offensive weapon is his cacophonous voice, as a hypersonic shout that can level an entire city, and his merest whisper has been shown capable of stunning the Hulk. It’s even been suggested that his voice is capable of destroying an entire planet.

7. The Flash

People who don’t know a lot about comic books often assume that the Flash can run really fast, but is otherwise a normal guy.  He can turn his opponent into a statue, or phase his hand through his opponent’s head, causing it to explode.  He is also impressively durable for a normal human, and most, though not all, of his impressive feats of durability have been while moving faster than normal. Many times he’s taken hits from Class-100 opponents, various energy blasts, ect. and ranged from quickly recovers to unfazed.  Not only is Flash faster than Pre-CRISIS Kryptonians(and Silver Age Superman was so fast, not only count he travel through time and dimensions through speed, but he nearly broke the barrier between Life And Death and was about to crash into Heaven), but he’ll probably have a few examples of simply phasing through to avoid, as well. And Flash doesn’t need to cause the charge that causes matter to explode every time he vibrates through something.

6. The Martian Manhunter

The Martian Manhunter’s chief super power is super strength. Super strength and durability. His two powers are super strength, durability and flight. His three powers are super strength, durability, flight and shapeshifting. Amongst his many powers are super strength, durability, flight and shapeshifting… I’ll come in again. The Martian Manhunter is basically the Swiss army knife of Superheroes. Along with all those powers, he has super speed and “Martian” vision, both at levels close to those of Superman himself. He not only can turn invisible but also alter his density to become incredibly strong, tough and ultimately intangible. In addition to his physical powers, J’onn is also a very powerful telepath. He also possesses 9 different senses, though these are ill defined and often forgotten by comic book writers. And if superhuman physical strength and mental powers aren’t enough, J’onn also has the ability to regenerate. In the past he’s even regenerated his entire body from only his severed hand.

With the coolness of the trailer, as well as the title character, I thought there was no way this movie could possibly go wrong. Boy was I wrong. Leaving the theater after the movie the only thing I could think about was how mad I was that I’d spent ten bucks to watch that crap. For non-comic book fans, this movie was a tedious, incoherent bore. For comic book fans it is simply an atrocity.

Easily one of the worst comic book inspired movies ever made (right up there with the first Fantastic Four movie and Batman Forever) Rise of the Silver Surfer is 89 minutes of tedium. The movie, like its predecessor, seemed needlessly rushed. Why not make this a 2 hour plus movie and take the time to slowly and thoroughly introduce the characters, especially for the myriads of movie-goers who have no clue about the origin of the Fantastic Four, or who are clueless about who the Silver Surfer is?

The main reason the movie won’t sit well with fans of the comics is the numerous pointless changes the producers make to the comic book storyline. Why is Sue the one that helps the Surfer decide to save humanity instead of Alicia? One of the coolest parts of the comics was when the surfer beat up the Thing and stole his blind girlfriend right out from under him. Alicia seems to have “a thing” for bizarre looking characters. She is the only character in comicdom (or anywhere for that matter) who would leave a giant rock man for a silvery bald space surfer. It also created some great tension between the surfer and the Thing, who would later have to team up to find a way to stop Galactus.

And don’t even get me started on Doctor Doom. Here’s a villain who wears a mask because his face is damaged (one scar) and in the comics we only see his real face twice. Twice in almost 50 years! But in this movie we see him without his mask more than we see him with it! And no longer is Doom the dictator of Latveria, but a billionaire industrialist (Lex Luthor?). Do these people know what movie they’re making?

The Silver Surfer was portrayed as being much weaker than he is in the comics. Why the hell are his powers tied to his surfboard? Where does this concept come from? Just read Silver Surfer vol. 3, issue #1 if you want proof that his powers aren’t tied to his board. In that issue his board is damaged and the surfer is able to repair it. He has even been shown to re-create his board after it is completely destroyed! He can remotely convert his board to energy, he can recall it to himself, hell, with the power cosmic the surfer can do pretty much anything. Its sad to see him in a movie where the writers have little or no understanding of the character or his abilities. If they didn’t want to read the comics, a simple wikipedia search or a five minute interview with a fan could have told them everything they needed to know about the surfer. Enough to make a bad ass movie.

In any event, another issue with the movie is Galactus, or rather, the absence of Galactus. I realize that the producers felt that Galactus was a little too “cartoonish” to be included in a modern day, cutting edge movie, but isn’t that the main problem with movies these days? What happened to a little imagination? Why does everything have to be so realistic these days? Gone are the golden days of the movies (namely the eighties), where one could time through travel in a Delorian, or fly into space in homemade spacecraft built out of a seat from an amusement park ride, a washing machine window and a television. Nowadays every movie has to be “realistic” with corresponding “scientific” explanations as to why one can travel in time, or through space. No longer is it acceptable to have a giant space man in a purple suit flying around in space eating planets. Its simply not realistic enough. Hence, we are left with a vague cloud with an object the shape of Galactus’s helmet as the final bad guy in the movie. And just how is the surfer able to stop the world devourer anyway? He flew into him? What?

Let me just say, the Silver Surfer and Galactus are two of the greatest characters that the incredible team of Jack Kirby and Stan Lee ever came up with together. The noble hero who was forced to serve a giant, purple clad, planet-munching space traveler by leading him to countless other inhabited worlds to feed on in order to keep him from eating his own planet (where the love of his life, Shalla Bal lived as empress). This movie completely ruined the chance the bring these characters to life and tell the story of how the super powerful Silver Surfer is moved into sparing a planet simply because of the heroes who help him find the nobility he has lost in the ages that he had traveled from planet to planet seeking out his master’s next meal. With all that said, the movie is worth seeing if only to see the surfer snuff out Johnny Storm and drop him into the earth’s atmosphere from outer space.

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