Sleep and Deprivation

“I haven’t slept for ten days because that would be too long” – Mitch Hedberg

Gandhi didn’t sleep for a long time. He was all messed up because of it. He saw God, had visions, laid down in front of rampaging horses. Muhammed did almost the same thing except without the horses. But he didn’t sleep a lot because an angel kept visiting him while he slept. Then he began reciting stuff.

I, on the other hand, have slept. I sleep a fair amount. Usually before I sleep I talk to an angel, but thats not the point of this. The point of this bluug is this: If I don’t sleep my entire life changes. Its like I lost my ying and have only yang. I get crabby and negative and horse-faced and zitty and depressed. I hate not getting enough sleep because I know I transform from this super cool, awesome, popular, fascinating, dynamic, lithe, fun-loving, dexterous, good-looking, attentive, charming, agile, honed, polite, bene gesserit trained, attractive, keen, active, lustrous, humble dude to a Dr. Jekyll monster that yearns to die in a ditch post-haste. Lack of sleep is that one little thing that really changes my entire mental health state….and let me tell you, my mental health state isn’t normal to begin with.

I have told one of my friends that when i am becoming a real lackadasical apathetic fuck head to let me know that I need a nap. Now I am sharing this proprietary information with all my friends… SO if I am ever being a jerk or acting like a quivering pile of ochre jelly(Friday nights typically) just tell me to hold out a bit more until its beddy-bye time…..even if its like 2 in the afternoon. I probably just need a nap.