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  • Age of Empires 2: The Age of Kings

    bug440
    Written by bug 1 Comment
    Last Updated:: October 10, 2007

    age_of_empires_ii_-_the_age_of_kings_coverart.pngDuring the Middle Ages, there wasn’t a whole lot of fun and excitement to be had in the daily musings of life. The simple minded peasant farmed the land, raised the sheep, and helped where ever they were needed by their feudal master.  The feudal master controlled and instructed his people on what their tasks would be from day to day, which could have been any number of things. You, my dear Old Wizard patron, shall be that Master. You shall be the master of the Middle Ages, and of the many different civilizations that claimed the times of castles, catapults, swords, and pikes all to their own. But it’s not just instructing the peasant to build and till the farm for the good of the colony. It is much more survivalist than that. This game can only be mastered through thinking like a King that must house, feed, and protect his people.

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  • Sleep and Deprivation

    old-wizard.com
    Written by Zeromage No Comments
    Last Updated:: October 9, 2007

    “I haven’t slept for ten days because that would be too long” – Mitch Hedberg

    Gandhi didn’t sleep for a long time. He was all messed up because of it. He saw God, had visions, laid down in front of rampaging horses. Muhammed did almost the same thing except without the horses. But he didn’t sleep a lot because an angel kept visiting him while he slept. Then he began reciting stuff.

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  • Artifact-o Deck

    old-wizard.com
    Written by Zeromage No Comments
    Last Updated:: October 6, 2007

    I thought this deck up two days ago. It plays the Tormod’s crypt then Paradigm Shifts to win.

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  • Tea

    old-wizard.com
    Written by Zeromage No Comments
    Last Updated:: October 1, 2007

    A while back I bought some celestial seasonings tension tamer tea for my sister, who will remain nameless to protect the witless. I bought it because there was a dragon on the box and I was a bit maniacal about dragons. After 5 months, she decides to try the tea and says it was really good. Now I am a partial skeptic when it comes to herbal remedies trusting to ancient lore rather than what a product’s box says.

    So on an influenced whim, a tea drinker I am not, I bought a box of the tea to try it for myself. Its caffeine free, by the way. I drank it and felt relaxed. This could be because it was a warm liquid or I could be placebo-ing myself into believing I feel relaxed or it might actually have some herb-aputic properties to it. Whatever the case, and ignorance is bliss here, I cant get enough of the stuff. If I am feeling crazy or my mind is racing, I drink a spot ‘o tea and I am feeling pretty chill. I feel like smiling at everything too…birds…rocks…..trees….the horizon….pretty much anything thats just chilli’n too. So ‘ to you sister that recommended tea to me. Without your uncanny fondness to use a gift that someone got for you, I would not be grinning like a baboon as I write this.

  • Comic Book Review: World War Hulk Issues 1-4

    old-wizard.com
    Written by Zeromage 4 Comments
    Last Updated:: September 30, 2007

    world-war-hulk-most-powerful-superheroMarvel Comics has a new crossover series going on right now called World War Hulk. The casual comic book fan may be wondering why Marvel would create a crossover series with a simple-minded character that utters stupid phrases like “Hulk smash!” (Hey, it could be worse, he could say “It’s clobbering time!”). Anyway, most hardcore Marvel fans know the Hulk has great potential to be a really fun character to read. I personally had been steering away from Hulk comics for a while due to the stupid storylines that had become commonplace in Hulk comics recently. How many times is the Jade Giant supposed to fight dumb characters and then run away because Bruce Banner feels bad? So, after reading the Civil War crossover I began wondering where the heck the Hulk was in this mess, since I hadn’t been reading Hulk comics for a while. Glancing at my stacks of comics, I noticed that he been tricked into a space ship by four members of the super hero group the Illuminati (Reed Richards, Iron Man, Dr. Strange, and Black Bolt), and then rocketed into space. Eventually he ended up on the distant planet Sakaar, dressed as a gladiator. Well, that sparked the ole interest, and I began reading what has been one of the best crossover comics that I’ve read in a while.

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  • Video Game Review: Tennis For the NES

    old-wizard.com
    Written by Zeromage No Comments
    Last Updated:: September 28, 2007

    tennis_nes_screenshot2.jpg

    “The Depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as a good as a wall.” -Mitch Hedberg

    If you were a gamer in the 80s, when you got tired of searching, slaying, bombing, sword fighting and alien invasions, there was always Tennis for the NES to offer a little respite. Released in 1985, Tennis was the game you played when you wanted to relax some. While the game was a huge leap forward from Pong, there still wasn’t too much excitement or action involved with this game, except for the occasional ’smash’ hit, which generated maybe an extra half heart palpitation. This game was pretty much stress and worry free. The only trouble you could really get into was hitting the ball out of the court. The pressure of being out bounds…If it doesn’t kill you, it might just make you roll your eyes, or at worst shrug your shoulders.

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  • WAR! EA to buy Mythic Entertainment

    old-wizard.com
    Written by Zeromage No Comments
    Last Updated:: September 10, 2007

    The gaming giant and mass producer of mediocre games, Electronic Arts(EA), has announced its deviant intentions to buy the online gaming demi-phenom Mythic Entertainment. While many readers may have suckled on Mythic’s past holy grail, Dark Age of Camelot, the latest concern is their current brainchild, Warhammer Online. Granted they didn’t think the idea up, they have recently picked up the slack and have been developing what looks like a great mmorpg set in the warhammer universe. How the merger of EA and Mythic will affect the grandulous old world beauty we have come to expect from mythic remains to be seen. However, with the quality of games that EA has put out in the past, I fear Warhammer Online may fall into the eye of chaos(cheap pun)….

  • Top 10 Nerd Musicians of All Time

    destructomaximo
    Written by destructomaximo 12 Comments
    Last Updated:: September 3, 2007

    So since pretty much the beginning of time nerds and music have gone hand in hand, yet there has never been a top ten musical nerds list! WTF? There seems to be a non-explicable status jump from high school band geek to ultra-cool band dude. Is this enigma a natural cocoon cycle? Is there some hibernation period where nerds wrap up puberty while growing their hair out, learning licks, and waiting for their clothes to become chic? I think the answer is yes, but I also think these hipsters never loose their nerdiness…and this is the summer of the nerd. You have Dinosaur Jr. and seBADoh making comebacks, Weezer announcing a new album, every songwriter in the world wears cheap black plastic frames, nerdiness in music has never been more prevalent! So here’s MY list: Top Ten musical nerds. Enjoy!

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  • Dateline: Dave Matthews

    old-wizard.com
    Written by Zeromage No Comments
    Last Updated:: September 2, 2007

    dave-matthews-band-bnr01.jpgTime: Gov’t Mule just finished playing. It felt bloody late. Time and space didnt matter, as I traveled through both freely.

    Plot: I just finished dancing my crazy twinkle toes off jammin to the funkalicious grooves of GM. I found my stomach growing hungry and looking for chow. I walked from the stage to the sound canopy. It took forever. Some dude was playing a flute and I thought it was old Ian Anderson. He was definately eyeing little girls with bad intent. Yeah aqualung!

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  • Review: Windows Vista

    bug440
    Written by bug 1 Comment
    Last Updated:: August 6, 2007

    windows_vista_desktop.pngAttempting to install and use the so-called newest, latest and greatest version of Microsoft Windows is like having a migraine headache, combined with sleep deprivation, and intense hunger, all while having a rare South American strain of the flu. Even if you are someone who is somewhat familiar with installing a Windows operating system, consider yourself a n00b when attempting to install Windows Vista. Sure, it looks flashy and nice on the outside, but under the hood lies a beast with sharpened fangs, out to cause you hair pulling frustration.

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