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Top 30 Wrestlers of All Time

Written by Zeromage 41 Comments
Last Updated:: January 16, 2010

Who are the greatest wrestlers of all time in WWF history? A just as important question is why does Old-Wizard even care? What, has Old-Wizard become Old-Wrestler now? Our love for Retro extends past video games, it even extends to wrestling! In this list, we will place who we think are the top 10 wrestlers of all time. This isn’t just some arbitrary list. This is a list created with passion for the pseudo-sport of professional staged-wrestling. We spent the past weeks getting ripped watching old Royal Rumbles and Summer Slams arguing who was more perfect, Mr. Perfect himself, or the Undertaker? We compared stats as if the stats actually meant something; like how long a Royal Rumble participant lasted, and how many times The Intercontinental Belt was won by a certain wrestler. Finally we came down to a list that was partially based on stats and partially based on fame. Here then is Old-Wrestler’s (sorry, I meant Old-Wizard’s) top 30 wrestlers of all time.

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New Super Mario Brothers Wii Review

Written by Sage 87 Comments
Last Updated:: January 5, 2010

It’s been a busy year for OW. As many of our fans know we are very important people in the gaming industry. We know all the movers and all the shakers and when OW speaks the gaming industry listens. Not too many years ago we had to pull our support of Sega over an incident at E3. The details don’t really matter but we tried to pick up the check, a fight broke out, some small Japanese men got beat up, and we decided that Sega was a terrible company. Since then Sega has been in a steady downward spiral. Also, not to brag or anything, but it’s well known that we here at OW came up with the idea of Sonic the Hedgehog as a joke and a struggling game developer stole the idea for lack of anything better. Oh and one time we were at a strip club with the owners of Sony and Nintendo and gave them the ideas for the Playstation and the Wii simultaneously, but I’ll have to save that story for another day (it gets a bit raunchy, and as our fans know this is a family website). Needless to say, since then our consulting fees have skyrocketed.

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Top 5 Super Mario Brothers Games

Written by Zeromage 50 Comments
Last Updated:: December 2, 2009

As everyone knows, Mario is Nintendo’s flagship franchise. This was the first game we at OW remember playing, and we were instantly addicted. Thus, for those who love to hate OW you can blame Mario because he is the reason we became the Sega hating, sarcastic, awesome, funny, handsome, great, …. anyway I digress. Though I can go on and on about how awesome this website is, we even made it to number one on this list we wrote about the best nerd websites. We didn’t ask for that recognition but it was welcome none-the-less. Anyway, back to Mario. The Mario Brothers franchise is constantly changing, unlike some franchises, which just have you running around in circles over and over again. I won’t say which game I’m referring to but it involves robots and animals, its basically a copy of Mario and it is very boring, not worth mentioning really. Mario on the other hand came out with something new and different each time, and each the game was a complete hit. I almost cried when I got Super Mario 3 for my birthday, that bright yellow package with Mario flying out of the package in his raccoon suit. Then there was Super Mario World which, at the time was even more awesome than Super Mario 3. This franchise is easily the most recognized face in the video game industry, and here are the top 5 Mario games.

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Ask Old-Wizard: Star Trek Part 2

Written by Sage 13 Comments
Last Updated:: November 20, 2009

This week we answer some more of our reader’s Star Trek related questions. If you haven’t already, check out the first AOW Star Trek.

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Top 10 WWF Matches of All Time

Written by Zeromage 11 Comments
Last Updated:: November 12, 2009

Continuing with the retro wrestling theme, we move on to the Top 10 WWF matches of all time. Some matches in WWF history actually stand as being great wrestling matches. When you put 2 wrestlers in the ring who actually know how to wrestle and who have endurance you can actually see some good fake wrestling and judge it for it’s worth beyond entertainment. Of course there are the matches though where the entertainment factor trumps adroit wrestling skills. Both are featured in this list. Some purely entertainment matches were of massive significance to the WWF regardless of the skill involved. But the best skill matches had to be mentioned also. So here is the adumbration of the Top 10 WWF matches of all time.
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Top 10 WWF Finishing Moves

Written by Zeromage 22 Comments
Last Updated:: November 5, 2009

The Finishing move. The move to end the match most of the time (unless you were fighting either The Undertaker, Hogan, or The Ultimate Warrior). The finishing move defined the wrestler and the motley fans of the WWF. When you saw Hogan finish off his opponent with his apocryphal Leg Drop, you were jumping up and down out of your seat knowing that Hogan would retain the belt. When your favorite wrestler was in the sharpshooter, you were begging that he was near the ropes. Whatever finishing move it was, it accentuated the staged-wrestling format to new heights. It’s what everybody expected; it was the pay off. Is this the definitive Top 10 Finishing moves list on the internet? We think so.

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Ask Old-Wizard: France

Written by Sage 85 Comments
Last Updated:: October 29, 2009

Sage is back this week to answer some of our reader’s questions about France. That’s right, just when you thought Old-Wizard couldn’t get any more random, we do something like this. The real question should really be “Why is anyone asking us anything about France anyway?” Oh well, since Sage has actually been there, we figured he should be the one to answer this random assortment of France-related questions. Hope you enjoy:

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Top 10 Most Re-Playable Games

Written by Zeromage 109 Comments
Last Updated:: October 22, 2009

Those ever so important games. The games you could keep playing over and over until the break of dawn. The time, thought and programming that went into establishing a re-playable game is one of the hallmarks of a great gaming company. Sometimes games were made that were accidentally re-playable. A couple of those games are on this list, proving that sometimes the re-playability factor could happen out of nowhere. Try to add up the time you spent playing these next games and compare it to how much you lived your life. You’ll see that it had to have take up at least a small percent of your lifespan thus far. These games you can still play today, even though they’re all older games; the true test of the re-playability of a game.

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Top 10 Worst Types of Music Fans

Written by Zeromage 53 Comments
Last Updated:: September 25, 2009

The music fan has the most deleterious effect on the music they want to represent. They can bring good music down to the worst music in the blink of an eye. It’s hard to be open to style of music when you go to a show for the first time and have to endure these buffoons who take the culture behind the music and give it an excess it’s not in need of. Sometimes it’s just the fans fault, but most of the time it’s the music genre that spawns these identity thieves. The fans of these next genres are noticeable, leading to the sense that the genres are idealized over the substance. It’s with a hint of nausea that one will pursue these shows enduring the crowd while trying to actually listen to the music, unless of course you want to be part of the crowd, the crowd that defines the band, rather than the other way around.

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Top 10 Guitarists of All Time

Written by Zeromage 127 Comments
Last Updated:: September 9, 2009

Old-Wizard’s Top 10 Guitarists of all time will not be your traditional Top Ten Guitarists of all time list. There won’t be obvious choices on here. Just because a guitarist can wank to no end doesn’t mean anything to us here at Old-Wizard. We could go into a guitar shop, turn on a Marshall Stack, plug in any guitar, and sound like we’re good wankers. So fuck the Stevie Ray Vaughn’s and Eric Clapton’s with their boring ass blues wanking. This list isn’t for the old farts whose conception of good guitar playing is limited to the most banal modes of style. This list of the more adventurous at heart who don’t hear just plain technical musicianship, but aesthetically pleasing sounding styles and innovative work that influenced guitarist past their own records. Certainly there was a history of guitar after the Blues. This list’s focus is on those great guitarists who did something else with the guitar.

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