• OW Investigative Series: Violence in Video Games

  

  Written by Zeromage 4 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 3, 2008

  Part 3: Bayou Billy

  Dateline, Louisiana circa 1988. A utopian society at the pinnacle of its intellectual, social, religious, and political height. Man’s greatest inventions were discovered, racism ceased to exist, there were no poor, and no homeless. The world’s greatest scientists conducted the greatest research ever done. Pollution problems were solved, the air was clean, and cities and nature were intricately and seamlessly integrated into one of the largest shared environments the world had ever seen. Louisiana before 1989 was perfect in every way. They had the hover car which was fueled by garbage and produced flowers as a bi-product. Sadness and depression no longer exsited and everyone was happy and healthy. This, however, was not to last. As we’ve reported in our first two reports, video games are responsible for violence, and the mark that video games left on this perfect society has set man back hundreds of years.

  In 1989 Konami released the most infamous game of its time in Bayou Billy. The havoc would be felt almost immediately. Roving gangs of men who were once great scientist now dressed in rags and were destroying everything in sight. They converted their once pure and clean cars into gas guzzling jeeps which quickly destroyed the air quality. The integrated cities, waterways, and forests were slowly converted to swamps with the lack of care and maintenance. The once perfectly balanced environment became overrun with alligators, snakes, rats, and snapping turtles. Many of the scientists died at the hands of these vicious creatures. Those that survived the quick descent into chaos seemed to have lost any semblance of their former selves. They turned to alcohol and drugs. Racism became rampant and the once beautiful artistic center of this world, Bourbon Street, became a non-stop party compete with an orgy of possibly related people.

  Sadly most, if not all, of the discoveries made in this perfect society were lost in the fall. Every book, chalkboard, and computer was destroyed. All the secrets to world peace and love of our fellow man were lost. All because of a video game. Before Bayou Billy, a cheap combination of white trash and Crocodile Dundee, there was no such thing as cajuns. The Native American, African American, White, and French man all lived as one harmoniously. After; racial tensions mounted, wives were murdered, girl friends were kidnapped, alligators were wrestled, and crayfish became a food source.

  

  Once again video games are to blame. If Bayou Billy hadn’t been released the world would be a much different place. The discoveries made in Louisiana would have been transferred all over the world; peace and prosperity would have followed. For these reasons OW feels that the government should regulate video games in order to prevent disasters such as this from continually happening. In the meantime OW will continue its research into the effects of that video games have had on this society.

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4 Comments

1. #1 Doug says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 10:22 pm

   LOL! This was f-ing hilarious. Love to see your take on Sonic and violence!