• Mail Bag: October 1, 2008

  

  Written by Zeromage 10 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 1, 2008

  It seems like every week we receive an email from an outraged Sega fan who writes to us from a different email address with the same horrible grammar, and same bullet point format, claiming he likes our site but doesn’t understand our hatred for Sega. We’re pretty sure this Sega fanboy is SonicMan0 (Old-Wizard fans may remember him as the kid who made the three Youtube video rants about us, and who we reported on in our very first investigative report, when we found out he never even owned a Genesis). Anyway, in order to get him to stop emailing, we decided to reply to two of his emails.

  
  Oliver Flaire Writes

  Hi, your website has certainly got my attention, ( please note I am not a fanboy of any kind so don’t push it or you will just embarrass yourself, since I already told you.) I want to ask you, the one with the fanboyish attitude ( no offense) why you guys stick to Nintendo and SONY

  1. We all know Nintendo is a reliable gaming company (well, almost reliable) that makes games that truly make us play it day and night, ans Sega does the same to me with Sonic Games. How would you feel if some one said “Mario can die in a fire and nintendo with it”? ( actual Youtube comment by some lowlife game bastard) Then don’t do it to Sega.

  2. There is no reason to hate Sonic&Co. What would you do if Nintendo created Sonic instead?

  3. I don’t have a Sega Console of my own in fact, I own a Wii, a N64, a GCN and a DS. If Sega made those consoles, how would you feel?

  That concludes MY case, so what’s yours? How are you going to reply? If you act like a 3-year old with a beanie then fine, embarrass yourself. G’day for now.

  You know what, I bet you’re a fanboy. Oh wait, you did note that you were not a fan boy.  Damn, now I’m just embarrassed. To answer your question, and save my embarrassment, let me sketch out our three point Nintendo plan. (I liked your format so I’m copying it, you didn’t note anything about that.)

  1. I agree Nintendo is reliable. However I don’t agree that Sega does the same with Sonic. Sonic is derivative, repetitive, and ultimately boring. Mario games can be played ad infinitum and still be fun. After I ran in a loop a few times it got boring. Every Sonic game is the same, nothing new, just loops, and animals in robots. I’m not sure we have never said that, “Sonic can die in a fire and Sega with it”. That is a terrible way to go. So If someone said that I would say “Hey man that’s harsh, mellow out dude…” and other things like that.

  2. I hate this argument. The fact is that Nintendo made Mario first. He was creative and fun. To combat this, Sega made the Joe Camel of video game characters, all attitude no substance. Sonic is derivative of Mario. He’s copied, unoriginal, and uninteresting.

  3. We actually all own Sega consoles, but a quick office poll has revealed that they spend more time gathering dust than paper weights. Again Sega didn’t make these consoles, this argument is null and void my friend.

  That concludes MY case. That’s how I’m going to reply. Actually we’ve concluded this case many times but people keep writing for some reason. Why did you capitalize “my”? That’s weird. We’ve noticed a lot of Sega fanboys do that, I’m starting to suspect that you might be one, despite your note. I’m not sure if I behaved like a three year old with a beanie. I’m actually not sure why the beanie matters. Do three year olds without beanies behave differently than three year olds with beanies? Which one is worse?

  Travis Swifte writes

  Ok, so I came to Semi-Complement and ask questions about your website. For one thing, I am not a fanboy of any kind, so don’t push it. The other: Please dont get to insultant.

  1.OK, so why do you put 4 SEGA CONSOLES in the worst console list? I would understand the 32X but The Dreamcast didn’t suck. It had better graphics than the PS2, even though it can’t play DVDs, you can go online. As for the Saturn, I would let you pass since I didn’t have one. For the Genisis, you really shouldn’t be into the gaming! The Genisis was great. Every time Afer school I would run upstairs and play Sonic and the others from That to Midnight.

  2. Why is Sonic and tails in the worst character list. I would understand Tails for the right reasons but Sonic Oh no, he IS cool.Mario as well.

  3. I WANT to like your site, it’s just the biast and Fanboyish attitude of the leader. When was the last time I liked your site? NEVER.

  4. Another Biggie : Why do you hate SEGA so much? You would reply: SEGA failed. If they did fail, then how many people play their games up to this date or how many support them. Nintendo is one to name: look at Mario and Sonic @the Olympic Games! Although Sonic has a bad name right now, I still believe that SEGA would get there soon. Also people like Monique, George and the REAL Zeromage could be you with a different name.

  That concludes my questions, hope you have a nice day, I’ve got Dinner to take care of!!

  I really appreciate this multiple point bulletin many of our submitters have chosen to follow. It makes wading through your insane minds slightly easier. Though the random capitalization still confuses the shit out of me. Does that mean you’re yelling at me, or that you are typing extra hard to elucidate a point? I bet you are a fanboy of a particular kind.

  We put 4 Sega consoles on the worst list because they are the worse. They sucked, most of their games sucked, and thats why Sega no longer makes consoles. I think all that time upstairs after school may have adverse effects on your mental health. You should have gotten outside more, as sunlight and exercise are key components of a healthy childhood. I can’t understand why people love backing that failed company. That’s like putting the guy who got last on the Wheaties box or investing in Enron after they all went to jail. There was a console war throughout the nineties, Nintendo won (they are still making consoles), Sega lost ( they are not making consoles).

  So this is definitely that last time I’m going to say this. Sonic is derivative, that means copied, uninspired, and stupid. Sonic is a fast Mario, but with forced coolness. Which comes off as uncool. I guess Sega captured the demographic they wanted; idiots that will buy an image because someone tells them its cool. Sega said Sonic is cool, you replied Sonic is cool. Nice, now go smoke cigarettes because Joe camel says they are cool too.

  You know what’s weird. We want to like you, but we can’t. We just can’t be friends with people who capitalize random words.

  Your failure argument holds no water. A lot of people bought Yugo’s (the car) but that doesn’t mean Yugo was a great company. It doesn’t make cars anymore, so would you want to buy a Yugo? Would you want to buy stock in Enron? Sega got lucky that enough people bought the idea of Sonic for a long enough time that they could keep making games for Nintendo. Which is another point for Nintendo.

  This concludes my answers, hope you have a nice day. I’ve got Dinner to take care of!

10 Comments

1. #1 George says:
   March 13th, 2010 at 12:16 pm

   Alright, who the fuck wrote that second comment? I am not the guy who runs this website you dumbass. You are so fucking dead to me.
2. #2 old-wizard.com says:
   March 13th, 2010 at 12:49 pm

   We’re 99% sure this is the guy who wrote them:

   http://www.youtube.com/user/sonicman0
3. #3 cheeseystrike0 says:
   March 13th, 2010 at 5:02 pm

   Oliver Flaire? Oh, he is my cousin from the UK, and Travis is his annoying twin brother that changes his username every time on the internet and I do not know why. I have been chatting to sonicman0 for quite some time now and he said he will never write a letter to this site again, but I will be sure to spank Travis once he come to my house again, also they are only 11 year olds so don’t take any notice of them. Although you make fun and piss off some people, you still ROCK!!
4. #4 George says:
   March 13th, 2010 at 3:47 am

   Thanks for responding old wizard. sonicman0, I know you’re reading this. Sega had its moments, but to compare it to Nintendo is like comparing Tim Allen to Tom Hanks, or for the hardcore nerds, Attack of the Clones to Empire Strikes Back. Tim Allen can do some things right, such as pretending to be a plastic spaceman, or The Commander in Galaxy Quest; however, Allen always manages to lower the bar with Christmas Movies, TV, video games made off him on TV, Christmas Movie Sequels, and video games made off of Christmas Movie Sequels. However, Hanks has starred in several of my favorite movies, and while he makes some shitty films, he has his previous works and his future to help him, plus 2 Oscars.

   Sega is like Tim Allen, they have Toe Jam and Earl, Sonic 2, and Echo the Dolphin; but also several shitty games (Shaq Fu), shitty sequels (Sonic Adventure), shitty games based of movies (Jurassic Park), and shitty sequels to shitty games based of shitty sequels to shitty movies.

   Nintendo has had its bombs such as the Virtual Boy and Pokemania. But they also have a grand lexicon of classics spanning generations. Great current games and systems. And I am positive that the future holds strong for them. Hell, they have had the greatest gaming minds of all time collaborate together to create pure genius. They are great, Sega was at best decent.

   Admit the error of your ways, head over to the nearest gaming store, buy a Wii, and compare in the Virtual Console. I guarentee you will find (a conservative estimate) 10 times the amount of greatness in the Nintendo consoles over the Sega consoles. I could go on for pharagraphs like this, but frankly, your not wort the bandwith I’m using to write this. So go walk into the ass end of a donkey suit, and giddyup yourself into the New Mexico landfill for Atari along with anyone else who thinks Sega was better than Nintendo, and never set your cheese puff stained fingers to a keyboard again as you decay alongside your fellow nieve peons for the rest of time.

   I hope your happy with yourself, sonicman0, you messed with me now asshole.
5. #5 cheeseystrike0 says:
   March 13th, 2010 at 4:24 pm

   George, I am starting to think you are twice the fucker old-wizard was when I first saw them. You don’t have to go that far.
6. #6 avi says:
   March 13th, 2010 at 1:25 pm

   Sega lost that does not mean they failed!!!! Genesis, Dreamcast, and Saturn were great systems!!!
7. #7 avi says:
   March 13th, 2010 at 1:27 pm

   @George:Sonic Adventures were not shitty they were the best in the sonic series!!!
8. #8 avi says:
   March 13th, 2010 at 8:44 pm

   Jurassic Park was a great game also.
9. #9 Avi says:
   March 13th, 2010 at 8:44 pm

   I doubt George can even name a sega game that he didn’t mention also shaq-fu was first on SNES so might as well stfu about that one.
10. #10 Avi says:
    March 13th, 2010 at 12:04 pm

    I’m not gonna believe george when he says he’ not 0mage since that’s exactly what ZM would say. o, and coming first means you’re better? LOL, I guess Spacewar is better than legend of zelda as well.