• Mail Bag: July 27th, 2008

  

  Written by destructomaximo 15 Comments
  Last Updated:: July 28, 2008

  It seems like every week we get some hate mail from a guy who calls himself MaximoDestructo (a clever play on DestructoMaximo’s name). This week Destructo decided to reply to one of his more venomous emails…

  Dear Old Wizards,

  I hate you and your unentertaining website. I hate your top 100 video games of all time list. And I personally hate you, Zeromage. You and DestructoMaximo. No I have never meet you, you deranged wannabe nerd. And yet you sicken me. Do you and your geriatric cohorts play any games that aren’t arcade games? Have you sub-evolved primates played any games that came out this decade? Did you guys stop buying gaming consoles after Atari? And how the hell is AD&D blue ahead of Donkey Kong? Donkey Kong jump-started Super Mario! FUCK YOU. I could have pulled a better list out of my ass. You should be made into glue. Fuck your mother.

  MaximoDestructo

  Dear MaximoDestructo,

  I, DestructoMaximo, find it interesting how many mad men this website has provoked. There is of course you, who has ever so cleverly taken my name and reversed it. Something so infinitely clever that you must have given yourself a hardy pat on the back when you thought of it. And then there is the REAL zeromage, who is in no way related to the OW staff, and is also constantly leaving us comments. Your letter is of great interest to me because it speaks greatly to your character. It is obvious that we here at OW like older games and the older consoles a lot, but its because we grew up with them, feel a certain authority on them (for that reason), and like to wax poetic in a nostalgic way. We also feel like less of an authority on the newer games, as we got older we had to get jobs, played video games less, and therefore don’t know as much about them; so we humbly don’t spend much time talking about them. So yes we have played games from this decade but we like games from the previous one better. By the way, the NES and SNES came well after the Atari. You also bring up another very interesting point in a rather crude manner. Yes, Donkey Kong came before Super Mario but does that necessarily make it a better game? We say no, that’s our opinion and we’re sticking to it.

  The interesting thing about our list and the one that you, as you eloquently put it ” … could have pulled out of your ass…” is that your list is still in your ass and ours is published. You, sir, are commenting on our work and have no work of your own. That is ok, you most likely spent most of your creativity inventing your ever so clever handle. As for making us into glue I don’t think it would work because most modern glues are made of a crystallizing polymer and I don’t think they have use for human body parts. Well this battle of wits has been fun but I must get back to work on actually creating something rather than just commenting, very poorly I might add, on other people’s work. Fuck you too.

  DestructoMaximo

15 Comments

1. #1 Mat N. says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 9:16 pm

   Old Wizard Guys:

   MaximoDestructo forgot to mention that you smell bad and your mothers dress you funny. Also, that he is totally going to pull your hair at recess.

   -Mat N.
   http://www.TheNiftyNerd.com
2. #2 kleintime79 says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 9:44 pm

   He thinks you should be turned to glue so he can use the ever so painful jab of “I’m rubber, you’re glue…”

   Be afraid…
3. #3 JB says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 10:02 pm

   That was the most entertaining thing you guys have done yet! I like it. ha ha. More or less, I like the site in general or I wouldn’t keep coming back.
4. #4 Alex says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 10:10 pm

   That made my day.
5. #5 The Mountain says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 10:15 pm

   ha. great responce.
6. #6 DM says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 10:25 pm

   This should be officially published elsewhere in the web-site, but this post has finally given me a way to approach the subject gingerly.

   I absolutely approve this reply…”DestructoMaximo” is correct; we are old, stodgy, professionals who’s original mission was to create a forum for all of the other nostalgic old-nerds who sat in pubs and argued over whether colecovision was better than intellivision (it wasn’t…Mr Do or not…).

   You see, I AM DestructoMaximo. I am THE, but unfortunately not the only, DestructoMaximo. I posted the very first “Ask Destructo” and you old-schoolers will know me (and my writing style) has changed after that first “Ask Destructo.”

   I have not posted in an article since then, and can not speculate on who this imposter is, but I can assure you that the REAL DM is NEVER abusive, racist, homophobic, a nintendo fan-boy, and most importantly I DO NOT make out with posters of Oasis before I hit the sack.

   I know Zeromage well, I grew up with him, and he is a close friend of mine (if you think that Oasis barb was harsh you should hear us yelling at each other at the pub).

   I may very well post again, and add a much needed diversity of opinion to the site, but I can not condone calling any poster (Even the 1337 wanna-be mask-wearing blind protesting script kiddie posters…) the same names that broke me when I was their age, writing .bat files on a 286 to crash my teachers lesson plans.

   You may think we are old, out dated, and out of touch…we named the fuking site “OLD-WIZARD” on purpose. If you don’t like it, keep bashing us, it only makes us more infamous.

   Although we may not see eye to eye at OW, we are in it “for real.” We say things that we feel are right TO US, not the masses. SHIT, WE (as LIFELONG NOT-BY-CHOICE nerds) have spent our lives rebelling against the herds of complacent sheep. WAKE UP!

   Oh…and if you don’t believe I am the original DM, feel free to “Ask Destructo,” it’s a mystery I’d like to solve as well.

   peace…DM
7. #7 Belialxyn says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 10:49 pm

   Ah, the quick wit of those with too much time on they’re hands. I just can’t see anything on this site that could rouse me to such a righteous fury as that guy, though I will admit I do tend to agree with OW in most of your articles.
8. #8 the REAL zeromage says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 10:52 pm

   I don’t know who this guy is but I like ‘em. P.S. this site blows!
9. #9 EvilKitty says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 2:01 am

   ahh…the joys of someone who just doesn’t get it! Old Wizard = old games = old men/women. geesh. do the math.

   EvilKitty
10. #10 sonic's evil twin says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 5:51 am

    yes i am a nerd i like this site when you dont bring down sega which is often i whould love to know why you have to bring them down just because you dont like them dosnt mean other people dont regardless of what you think there are many sega fan’s out there just cause you like nintedo doesn’t mean you have to turn a good site in to a crap one
11. #11 DM says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 12:49 pm

    Agreed. I love the Genesis. I will be much more vocal on the site again after a hiatus for finishing a degree. I LOVE NHL 94, maybe the most fun sports game ever. This site will be much less Nintendo fanboy from now on.

    -DM
12. #12 The Mountain says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 7:17 pm

    Check out Old-Wiz’s last list. top 5 sega games. they give some love
13. #13 mr sams says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 10:19 am

    if old wizard mean’s old game’s why put halo and gear’s of war on their top 100 list why not make it old game’s
14. #14 DM says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    We just play more old games than new ones, that’s all. We still play new games, just not as much. I still have weekly Dr Mario tournys with my wife, and I still bust out a stop-watch to see how fat I can beat super mario bros.
15. #15 Wolf says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    You don’t spend much time talking about new games?
    You mean aside from when your writing about how 3D games aren’t nearly as good as 2D games?