• Comic Book Review: Hulk #5

  

  Written by Zeromage 3 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 8, 2008

  Let me get right down to it, if Old-Wizard ever does a “Top 10 Worst Comic Books of All Time List” this issue will be the number one pick. Not since World War Hulk #5 has a comic book made me this angry (and no, I won’t make any bad “Don’t make me angry” jokes). But in all seriousness, Hulk #5 is a bad, bad comic.  The Red Hulk series has already treated the She-Hulk, Iron Man and even the Watcher like rag dolls who crumple under the awesome might of the Red Hulk. Now it’s Thor’s turn. This should have been a match-up for the ages. You have the Hulk, one version of him anyway, a beast with nearly limitless power doing battle with the nigh-invulnerable Norse god of thunder. Instead of making things interesting, or finally providing Red Hulk with a suitable opponent, Jeph Loeb allows his creation to trounce Thor for half the issue. Personally I hate villains whose only defining trait is the fact that they’re stronger than every other hero in the universe. You may think that I should stop whining that my precious Thor got his ass kicked, but this series is undermining the character’s place in the current Marvel Universe.  J. Michael Straczynski has spent a lot of time carefully reestablishing Thor as a complex, powerful figure. This new comic book throws all of Straczynski’ subtlety out the window and then kicks sand in his face for good measure.

  Like many other Thor fans I was among those who missed Thor’s presence in Civil War and World War Hulk. I am also one of those who still believe it should have been Thor, not Tony Stark’s satellite, that stopped the Hulk in WWH. Marvel is aware of the large segment of their fanbase who feels this way, and they finally answered all of us in Hulk #5 with a giant, red ‘Up Yours!’ Red Hulk even acknowledged it when he dragged Thor into space and mentioned Civil War and WWH. (Note to Marvel – your characters demonstrating self-awareness that they are just comic characters isn’t cute or ironic; it’s just dumb. Hulk inexplicably leaving Thor alive on the moon also screams “this is a comic book!”).

  And by Odin’s beard – why should gravity have any impact on someone’s ability to wield Mjolnir? Gravity has nothing to do with being able to lift Mjolnir and then smite Thor with it.  Its yet another giant “Up Yours,” this one aimed at 40 years of Thor continuity. How in the name of sanity is Marvel going to reconcile this?!?! All of a sudden Thor is useless in space battles – just grab his hammer and pound him with it. I guess I missed the footnote on Mjolnir’s inscription: “This warranty void in zero gravity environments.” How did Odin overlook that little issue when he placed his enchantment on it? How can I believe that Thor can fight off the Skrulls? Oh, and that ending there’s not one of those characters that would last two seconds against Thor. Yet somehow its all going to conclude next issue with this gang of street level heroes taking down the Red Hulk? Marvel’s preview page told us that this issue featured the battle we’ve all been waiting for. Sorry, I don’t know of anyone who was waiting for this load of crap.

  I’d move on from Thor, but there really isn’t much else to talk about. Once again, this issue is decompressed to the point where it takes roughly three or four minutes to read. When Thor and Red Hulk aren’t brawling, Loeb spends a few panels teasing the mystery of Rulk’s identity once again. It’s not even a mystery anymore so much as a case of the characters saying, “I know and I’m not telling!” Fortunately, I stopped caring months ago whether Red Hulk is General Ross or Ares or Onslaught or whoever the pool of candidates includes these days.

  I hate that this series is my only outlet for Hulk stories, and I hate that so many great Marvel characters are being dumped upon for no apparent or meaningful reason. Most of all, I hate the fact that this series has sold so many freaking copies. The impressive sales prove that there’s an audience for a story like this, but I’m not part of it. So if you’re in the shop this week, staring at this issue and wondering if you should add it to your stack, think twice.

  Our Rating:

3 Comments

1. #1 TheGamesta says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 8:59 am

   Wow, I haven’t read a Marvel comic since I was in the 6th grade, but even this makes me mad!!
2. #2 Osama says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 7:40 pm

   Honestly, the best thing you guys do is comic reviews. Keep it up!
3. #3 raedrienne says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 11:27 am

   oh my god..bias is the word for the day. this was clearly written by a thor fanboy.