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  • Video Game Review: Quest for Glory

    old-wizard.com
    Written by Zeromage No Comments
    Last Updated:: December 30, 2007

    qfgi.jpgTake one stereo-type Hero, you know, the hulking blonde hair blue eyed douche, add a cocktail of Germanic lore with a shot of fairy tale, mix in a colourful cast of characters and you will have one of the most exciting game in Sierra Online History.

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    • Video Game Review: Space Quest 1

      old-wizard.com
      Written by Zeromage No Comments
      Last Updated:: December 28, 2007

      sq.jpgBeing trapped in a closet can be useful in some instances; like when you are R. Kelly and you feel the need to write a bad song; or if you’re that gay cousin at a redneck family reunion, or perhaps when there is someone attractive locked in said closet with you while playing a hardcore game of “Seven Minutes in Heaven”. I’d have to say the most useful example of being trapped in a closet comes from the tale of one Roger Wilco. You see, Roger was never really what we would call a smart guy, I mean, he lives his life as a Janitor on a space ship. Cool to be on a space ship, not cool to have to clean the toilets. Well, it just so happens that one day, while being trapped in a closet, Roger avoids certain death when Sariens invade his space ship. Roger manages to escape the closet after the main attack on the ship; however, there are 15 minutes until the ship self-destructs. As Roger uses his dulled wits to bumbles through the space ship and look for his escape, he learns from a dying scientist that the Sariens have taken the Star Generator. The scientist then gives him access to a computer cartridge that has the plans to build another generator.

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      • Top 5 Video Game Soundtracks

        old-wizard.com
        Written by Zeromage 25 Comments
        Last Updated:: November 30, 2007

        When a video game has great music, it usually points to the care in creation that’s needed to be make one of the better games of all time. As you’ll notice, the games on this list are also some of the greatest games ever made. You won’t be finding “Paperboy” or “Ghouls n’ Goblins” on this list. Only the best games have the best music. They go hand in hand. When you travel the world of a great RPG, great music is a necessity for identifying the different lands. When climbing up a dark, shadowy castle, appropriate music is needed to instill a feeling of unease in the gamer, and this all must be done in a unique way to give the game its claim for greatness, an ambition that’s not necessarily sought after in modern gaming. After close inspection in our listening sessions, we have chosen these 5 video games. The music in these games reminded us of playing them at younger ages, and sometimes overcame us with a sense of forlornness, in knowing that these games can’t hit us again like they hit us the first time we played them. Nonetheless, the music in our top 5 video game soundtracks are the best examples of great music in great games, music so great that they are often instinctively listened to even when not playing the game, maybe even in your car when you’re around the right crowd of nerds who could appreciate such a thing.

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        • Super Off Road

          bug440
          Written by bug 1 Comment
          Last Updated:: November 29, 2007

          superoffroad1.pngSuper Off Road. First introduced to me in the dimly lit corner of a Burger King Castle in Meriden, CT. The machine stared me down, flaunting the three primary colors, each assigned to a black steering wheel. I don’t remember if there was a gas pedal for each of the three players, but I do know for sure each of us had our own NITRO button. The three players were able to, of course, toss quarters into this machine and drive their tiny little truck around a beaten dirt course on the 20 inch color screen. Taking on the yellow truck, I began my adventure into Off Road nitro-filled racing, battling with three other vehicles on the muddy and worn pixilated track. At times these vehicles were driven by humans, at others, the computer inside this amazing stand up interactive video game would control the relentless trucks. I played course after course, winning money for finishing each race. With this money, I was allowed to upgrade my truck over and over, in many different ways. Sometimes it was the tires, others it was the engine, turbo or shocks; and so on. At first I experienced some initial shock spending $70,000 for a set of tires, but they proved to be well worth every penny. After some time, there would be random green money bags that would just show up on the dirt track. If you aimed for them, and ran them over, you collected the cash. However, the amount of money in each money bag was just as random as its location and timing on the track. It’s as if the system would taunt me, sometimes when I got the moneybag it would be $1,000. When I saw the other computer controlled trucks get the money bags, they would get $100,000. I’m sure it was rigged, but nonetheless, I carried on. This was the type of game I could play for a very long time off of just one quarter. I played until the birthday party at that Burger King Castle was over, and I had to be dragged away.

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          • Mario Pary 4 : Domination Mini-Game

            bug440
            Written by bug No Comments
            Last Updated:: November 28, 2007

            marioparty4.jpgMini games. Mini games were the name of the game in Super Mario Party 4 for the Nintendo Gamecube. Wandering through the digital world of psychedelic Japanese programmers, we were sent off onto little detours. Forced to play games that had nothing to do with our main goal: beating the full game. Most of the time these so called mini games were just a pain in the ass, but we came across one that was just completely pointless. It goes by the name of Domination. It was the one where you faced a never ending line of stone figures, shaped and stacked like domino’s. The only point of this mini game was to smash the A button on your controller as fast as you possibly could in a certain time period, and then it would knock down the corresponding amount of stone domino’s. Highest count of downed stone domino’s wins.

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            • Online Gaming

              old-wizard.com
              Written by Zeromage No Comments
              Last Updated:: November 7, 2007

              Online gaming is so fucking gay. You’re playing against a bunch of 12 year olds that haven’t managed to grow a decent bit of peach fuzz on their nuts and run around screaming shooting at rocks. Tactical shit is sweet when you get to do it, but you can’t be playing with dumb ass morons. In an every man for themselves game, kill kill kill works fine, but after stroking myself while looking at my kill count, I find I would rather play a few intelligent people and do something cinematic and tricky.

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              • Classic Video Game Review: Pac-Man

                old-wizard.com
                Written by Zeromage 7 Comments
                Last Updated:: November 7, 2007

                pacman.gifOver the course of my quasi-centurion life I have dabbled with various substances to no true good effect. My brain being semi-addled as it is, it still doesn’t help me answer the question: “What the hell is Pac-man?” Off the bat you are playing as a 2-D profile of the Wal-Mart smiley, traveling through a darkened labyrinth consuming balls while being chased by four coloured specters. As if that wasn’t trippy enough the specters each have different names. Despite the flashback-inducing imagery, the game is highly addictive. There is a certain thrill in evading ghosts and a merciless retribution found when it comes to eating them. Hours can be spent challenging yourself to attain high scores and greater level achievements. Can you pass though the ghosts around this corner? Can you evade the Blinky and Pinky trap?

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