» Video Games

• Top 10 Video Game Endings

  

  Written by Zeromage 22 Comments
  Last Updated:: March 15, 2010

  The Video Game Ending. It’s what every gamer seeks when playing the game. Gamers spend hours trying to conquer a game just to be able to see the resolution of their whole adventure or lack thereof. Sometimes tragedy strikes in the ending of the game, alluding to a subsequent game in the series. Sometimes the ending of a game just plain sucks like the end of Ghost’s n’ Goblins. Bad endings can ruin the experience of a whole game, which we will cover in a future list. For now though, we’ll go through the games with the best endings video game history. Making the choices was hard, and objectivity in these cases is always treading the line of subjectivity. Nevertheless, these are the endings that stood out the most for us.

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• Top 10 Two Player Games

  

  Written by Zeromage 59 Comments
  Last Updated:: February 25, 2010

  Why play a 1 player game when you can play a 2 player game? Unfortunately, most of the best 2 player games are battle modes. Still, there is much fun to be had by beating up on a friend in a game when you’re not allowed to physically beat them up anymore in this day and age. This is not to say that there weren’t some amazing 2 player co-op games, but for better or worse, these games don’t strongly stand out when thinking about the best 2 player games. The ones that did stand out are certainly on this list for that reason. The main thrust of this article will be engaging the best battle mode 2 player games where controllers are smashed and friends TV’s are broken. These are the games that you devote your life to in order to beat your friend and claim your rightful place as the grand master of video game skill.

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• New Super Mario Brothers Wii Review

  

  Written by Sage 87 Comments
  Last Updated:: January 5, 2010

  It’s been a busy year for OW. As many of our fans know we are very important people in the gaming industry. We know all the movers and all the shakers and when OW speaks the gaming industry listens. Not too many years ago we had to pull our support of Sega over an incident at E3. The details don’t really matter but we tried to pick up the check, a fight broke out, some small Japanese men got beat up, and we decided that Sega was a terrible company. Since then Sega has been in a steady downward spiral. Also, not to brag or anything, but it’s well known that we here at OW came up with the idea of Sonic the Hedgehog as a joke and a struggling game developer stole the idea for lack of anything better. Oh and one time we were at a strip club with the owners of Sony and Nintendo and gave them the ideas for the Playstation and the Wii simultaneously, but I’ll have to save that story for another day (it gets a bit raunchy, and as our fans know this is a family website). Needless to say, since then our consulting fees have skyrocketed.

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• Top 5 Super Mario Brothers Games

  

  Written by Zeromage 50 Comments
  Last Updated:: December 2, 2009

  As everyone knows, Mario is Nintendo’s flagship franchise. This was the first game we at OW remember playing, and we were instantly addicted. Thus, for those who love to hate OW you can blame Mario because he is the reason we became the Sega hating, sarcastic, awesome, funny, handsome, great, …. anyway I digress. Though I can go on and on about how awesome this website is, we even made it to number one on this list we wrote about the best nerd websites. We didn’t ask for that recognition but it was welcome none-the-less. Anyway, back to Mario. The Mario Brothers franchise is constantly changing, unlike some franchises, which just have you running around in circles over and over again. I won’t say which game I’m referring to but it involves robots and animals, its basically a copy of Mario and it is very boring, not worth mentioning really. Mario on the other hand came out with something new and different each time, and each the game was a complete hit. I almost cried when I got Super Mario 3 for my birthday, that bright yellow package with Mario flying out of the package in his raccoon suit. Then there was Super Mario World which, at the time was even more awesome than Super Mario 3. This franchise is easily the most recognized face in the video game industry, and here are the top 5 Mario games.

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• Top 10 Most Re-Playable Games

  

  Written by Zeromage 109 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 22, 2009

  Those ever so important games. The games you could keep playing over and over until the break of dawn. The time, thought and programming that went into establishing a re-playable game is one of the hallmarks of a great gaming company. Sometimes games were made that were accidentally re-playable. A couple of those games are on this list, proving that sometimes the re-playability factor could happen out of nowhere. Try to add up the time you spent playing these next games and compare it to how much you lived your life. You’ll see that it had to have take up at least a small percent of your lifespan thus far. These games you can still play today, even though they’re all older games; the true test of the re-playability of a game.

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• OW Investigative Series: Violence in Video Games

  

  Written by Sage 12 Comments
  Last Updated:: June 21, 2009

  Part 4: Pokemon

  In recent centuries the world has been racked with animal on animal violence. You need not look further than Animal Planet, Discovery Channel, and sometimes History Channel (check local listings). Every where we look some animal is killing another animal. But why? Is it for food? Are the creatures pre-programed to hate each other? Or has gang warfare spilled over into the animal kingdom? Only recently, since man has evolved hunting and tracking capabilities, has human on animal violence escalated. Some people, so called ’scientists’, have postulated that these behaviors are what allowed human beings to become the dominate species on our planet. A quick look out the window, if you live in an urban area at least, shows you that yes there are a lot of humans everywhere. But why has modern man chosen to still attack, kill, capture, and even eat animals? Is it because proteins obtained from meat and poultry are essential to a healthy diet? Is it because a number of domesticated species would no longer be able to survive on their own without human intervention? Or is it because of the destructive influence a certain video game has had on the populace?  As we have shown in previous articles, all violence in society can be blamed on video games, so it only make sense that animal cruelty must also be the fault of video games.

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• Top 10 Worst Fanboys

  

  Written by Sage 1,547 Comments
  Last Updated:: June 5, 2009

  We here at OW like a lot of things. We also dislike a lot of things. In some cases the things we like and the things we don’t like overlap. For example we like the Dave Matthews Band but we dislike the average Dave Matthews fan. This could be pictured as a Venn diagram. Venn diagrams will be used a lot in this list so please take time to review the general concept. Another example is Pokemon, we hate Pokemon but enjoy a good Nintendo game. Once again a Venn diagram would very neatly describe this. In another unrelated matter, we here at OW, in our last list, mentioned that we wanted to sell out. However we haven’t received any offers that will prevent us from having to wake up and go to our jobs in the morning. So let’s step it up people! Also while I’m on it, we haven’t received any applications to join our religion that we’ve started. So again let’s step it up people! Finally the first person to send us a set of Venn diagrams describing this list wins a free OW t-shirt. So break out the pen and compass, some crayons, and your third grade math book and get to work.

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• Top 10 Ways to Tell If You’re Good at Video Games

  

  Written by Zeromage 113 Comments
  Last Updated:: May 18, 2009

  We here at OW get a lot of flack for our beliefs. Further research, however, has shown that we are in fact right. Everything we say is actually the gospel truth! I know, we were just as shocked as you are. That being said, we are taking applications for worshipers. Unlike most religions we don’t want everyone, just your rich, cool, and popular people.  There is a minimum yearly salary requirement and a rather extensive interview process. Also we have put together a list that allows a person to decide if they are good at gaming. These days games are stupid and easy and everyone thinks they are good at games for no particular reason. Here is a way to tell if you’re actually good at video games. And if you remember from the beginning of this list everything we say is the truth. So we win again. Also at a recent staff meeting we have all decided we are willing to sell out completely. If any TV executives, advertising agents, or magazine editor are reading this and want to offer us money we’re in.

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• Top 10 Ways to Tell if a Game is “Hardcore”

  

  Written by Zeromage 218 Comments
  Last Updated:: April 28, 2009

  If we here at OW know anything, which we don’t, then it’s definitely hardcore games and gamers. These are the people who take what is merely a pass time and make it a serious way of life. Much like the professional athlete, the hardcore gamer takes the gaming experience to a whole new and smelly level. But this list isn’t about them, no we’ve done that before, we’ve done the comprehensive study of what your average hardcore gamer looks like already.  This time we try to get into there heads, through the layers of greasy unwashed hair, past the dandruff ridden scalp, under the extra layers of fat, and beneath the thick skull (its thick from supporting all the grease, fat, and dry skin). To further our efforts in understanding these behemoths we began systematic studies of the games which hardcore gamers identify as “hardcore” and our findings are shocking to say the least. We’ve organized some of our data into a list which ranks the importance of a particular attribute of a particular game in the order in which the hardcore gamer holds the importance of said attribute when purchasing a new game with their parent’s money. That is to say we made a top ten list.

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• Top 30 Bad Guys From Super Mario Brothers

  

  Written by Zeromage 67 Comments
  Last Updated:: April 14, 2009

  No game in history has left a cadre of memorable bad guys like the Mario Bros games have. Others have tried, but nobody else has taken a the dreams of an acid riddled hippie and turned them into lush landscapes full of monsters, floating blocks, pits to infinity, and poor plumbing like Nintendo has. Mario has been the flagship of this company since the early eighties, and rightfully so. In this list we name the top 30 bad guys from the Mario brother series.

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