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• Ding! Fries are Done!!

  

  Written by Zeromage No Comments
  Last Updated:: November 15, 2007

  It is getting close to Christmas. Yes, its hard to believe, but December is already upon us. I along with many people have these rules in place where I won’t think about the “holidays” until after Thanksgiving. Its a common standpoint. Lots of people think that way.

  Now, I love Christmas. I love getting gifts for people and scheming over stupid gift ideas that are as much a gift as they are an expression of my creative ways. So last year when everyone got a gift that had something to do with Dragons….yeah, that was planned. It also worked. Friggin’ brilliant. I also love the spirit of Xmas. I feel nicer to people. I want to sing more. I even hug my brother instead of punch him. I punch my grandma instead. I think its the music that gets me most festive. Alright already!

  So I have some Christmas music, but I didn’t want to listen to it until after thanksgiving. However, I love the Xmas season….so I was torn. My stupid life rule vs a good happy feeling.

  So I listened to some Xmas music. It was nice. Trans-Siberian Orchestra playing Christmas carols. I don’t know how they are sort of Siberian, but they are. Trans-sexual. I’m a trans-civil engineer. trans-continental divide. Trans-fur. Anyway, so I have started my jolly Christmas season early. I listened and I liked. I listened again with my sister and she called me a freak. Come see the bells! She is just having problems coping with listening to this festive music so soon. Her life rules are being broken too and its hard to come to terms. I wouldn’t mention this to her.

  I’m not going to give anyone advice. Its just not my way. Plus, I don’t know shit. But here’s my advice: if you like that warm fuzzy Christmas feeling, that same feeling you get when a stranger’s hand touches your naughty bits, then you should listen to some Christmas carols.

• The Phone Call

  

  Written by Zeromage 1 Comment
  Last Updated:: November 14, 2007

  Last night, I received a phone call at approximately 7:21pm. It was most disturbing. I missed the call, but the good ole caller ID came through and saved the number. I’m sure your wondering what was so disturbing about a phone call that I missed, so I’ll tell you. I should give warning though that the weak of heart probably shouldn’t read on. I looked at the number that called hoping it was some hot chick and this is what I saw instead:

  0000123456

  Yes. I kid you not. I almost personally wet myself. I laughed a hysterical crazy man’s laugh because I thought I was going to die. I called the number back and it told me the Nextel person I’m trying to call is not available. I also had a nightmare about it too. Anyway, thats my story. Anyone else get funky shit like this?

• Sleep and Deprivation

  

  Written by Zeromage No Comments
  Last Updated:: October 9, 2007

  “I haven’t slept for ten days because that would be too long” – Mitch Hedberg

  Gandhi didn’t sleep for a long time. He was all messed up because of it. He saw God, had visions, laid down in front of rampaging horses. Muhammed did almost the same thing except without the horses. But he didn’t sleep a lot because an angel kept visiting him while he slept. Then he began reciting stuff.

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• Tea

  

  Written by Zeromage No Comments
  Last Updated:: October 1, 2007

  A while back I bought some celestial seasonings tension tamer tea for my sister, who will remain nameless to protect the witless. I bought it because there was a dragon on the box and I was a bit maniacal about dragons. After 5 months, she decides to try the tea and says it was really good. Now I am a partial skeptic when it comes to herbal remedies trusting to ancient lore rather than what a product’s box says.

  So on an influenced whim, a tea drinker I am not, I bought a box of the tea to try it for myself. Its caffeine free, by the way. I drank it and felt relaxed. This could be because it was a warm liquid or I could be placebo-ing myself into believing I feel relaxed or it might actually have some herb-aputic properties to it. Whatever the case, and ignorance is bliss here, I cant get enough of the stuff. If I am feeling crazy or my mind is racing, I drink a spot ‘o tea and I am feeling pretty chill. I feel like smiling at everything too…birds…rocks…..trees….the horizon….pretty much anything thats just chilli’n too. So ‘ to you sister that recommended tea to me. Without your uncanny fondness to use a gift that someone got for you, I would not be grinning like a baboon as I write this.

• Liberate Animals Trapped in Commercial Bondage

  

  Written by Zeromage No Comments
  Last Updated:: April 27, 2007

  I’m not a member of P.E.T.A., nor do I have any plans to be. Just wanted to clear that up. So you’ve got a friend that you want to get with a good joke and a day or two of discomfort. If you don’t have any friends you’ve got to get one. This isn’t evil enough to pull on an enemy. First, have a friend that has their own pad. You’ve got to know this person well enough to have their schedule known to you. Know when their home and when they aren’t, sleeping, awake, bad, good; just like that stalker Santa.

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• Dreamz

  

  Written by Zeromage No Comments
  Last Updated:: March 7, 2007

  I had been reading the Silmarillion while I was in New Zealand. It was a great book, but I could not have read it at any other point in my life. It was a tough read in the beginning. I have tried to read it three other times before this to no avail. That’s not the point here. So I came back from New Zealand and I had a tiny bit of the book left. In the book, it tells of the elves creation, how the elves came to middle earth, and how the elves taught the first men.  There was this Elven King Fingolfin that was a great elf among elves. So in one of my first nights back here, I had this dream of the elf king. See, I was a regular man that the elves first encountered when men were first created. Somehow I met Fingolfin and he was teaching me the ways of the world and all things wise. Every time I made a mistake, Fingolfin would correct me. Pretty much at the beginning of my dream I was a caveman and by the end, I was modern man. Ever since this dream I have been obsessed with Fingolfin, 3rd High King of the Noldor. I highly recommend reading about him. There is some awesome artwork available online of him as well.

  So does anyone have a good dream analysis of what this means?
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