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• The 51st Annual Wizzies

  

  Written by Sage 78 Comments
  Last Updated:: February 23, 2009

  Last night was the biggest, most watched, and arguably the most important awards show in the country. I speak of course of the Wizzies, presented by the infamous Old-Wizard.com. Much like the way the Golden Globes predict the Oscars; the Oscars are said to predict the Wizzies. The evening started with a star studded red carpet event, where everyone from poet laureate Maya Angelou, who later gave the invocation address, to Mickey Rourke, who presented the award for best website, was in attendance. It was a variable who’s who of actors, intellects, and important politicians. After everyone filed in and took their seats, the invocation was given and Oasis played the national anthem, which was the first time that a foreign band has ever played our national song at the Wizzies. This year’s event was action packed, including a fist fight between the staff members of OW, and a rather tear full ode delivered by Nelson Mandela. Unlike in years past, O-W cleaned up this year, winning a number of the Wizzies in categories ranging from best performance in a drama to the most environmentally destructive industrial paper clip producer.  Here were the highlights:

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• Albino Humans

  

  Written by Zeromage No Comments
  Last Updated:: January 19, 2009

  Anyone know what the KKK think of albino people? Either they venerate them for being the ultimate in whiteness or they hate them for being different. Or maybe its something different that I never heard of. Just a thought that came by me today. Not that I think about the KKK a lot or anything….

• Mail Bag: January 10th, 2009

  

  Written by Sage 11 Comments
  Last Updated:: January 10, 2009

  I’m not sure why exactly, but lately a lot of people have been asking us what our opinion is about the imminent end of the world. I’m not sure how many other retro gaming sites are getting emails about the upcoming apocalypse, but I’m willing to bet that the number is pretty low. I’ll have to ask the folks over at Retrojunk when I have a chance. Anyway, this week Sage answers one of the more detailed emails we’ve received on this topic.

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• Happy Holidays

  

  Written by Zeromage 6 Comments
  Last Updated:: December 23, 2008

  Happy holidays to all the readers of Old-Wizard.  We’re off until the new year so you’re left with all our past articles and our Forums for your holiday reading and entertainment.  We wanted to take this time to thank all the readers and visitors as you’re the ones that have kept us going through both the ups and downs.  We have a lot planned for the future so stay tuned as the new year kicks in.  As of right now, we’re relaxing from a busy year that has us burned out.  There’s been a lot of arguments and controversy during Old-Wizard’s history.  We think this is a good thing as it has made people think more and clarify their own positions on things as diverse as their favorite video game systems to their favorite songs of all time.  Only by stirring the pot a little can readers be engaged in a way that they wouldn’t normally be in everyday life.  We hope we’re making a connection to our readers with the style of our thought and writing.  For now though, it’s time to relax and enjoy the holidays by taking some time off.  We look forward to the new year and our readers continued passion for dialogue, agreement, and disagreement.

• Mail Bag: December 15th, 2008

  

  Written by destructomaximo 17 Comments
  Last Updated:: December 15, 2008

  This week DestructoMaximo answers a lengthy email from one of our long time readers, Vintage Junkie:

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• Slapstic.com’s Review of Old-Wizard

  

  Written by Zeromage 2 Comments
  Last Updated:: November 29, 2008

  As many of you know, Old-Wizard has caused quite a bit of controversy within the online gaming community. And while we always love to post up lengthy Youtube video rants made by our detractors (who seem to have a lot of time on their hands), we thought it was time we showed you that we do get a lot of positive feedback as well. Which brings us to today’s post. A while back our pals over at Slapstic.com reviewed our humble little website. We probably should have mentioned this review a while ago, but being the lazy bastards that we are, we’re doing it now (What are you going to do about it?) Read on to see a few of our favorite quotes from the review and of course the link to the full review itself.

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• Mail Bag: November 14th, 2008

  

  Written by Sage 8 Comments
  Last Updated:: November 14, 2008

  As many of you know, our “Top 10 Signs That You’re a Hardcore Gamer” list ruffled a few feathers. In this edition of our Mail Bag, Sage responds to one of the more angry emails we received:

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• Mail Bag: November 3rd, 2008

  

  Written by Sage 1 Comment
  Last Updated:: November 3, 2008

  This week Sage handles our Mail Bag, answering a question from long time Old-Wizard.com reader, and conspiracy nut, Mel:

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• Old-Wizard Mentioned on Podcast

  

  Written by Zeromage 2 Comments
  Last Updated:: November 1, 2008

  Old-Wizard’s Top 10 Tips For Using a Public Restroom List has been featured on the new episode of “Slacker and the Man”. They mention it near the end of the episode, but the entire show is worth a listen. These guys have some great on-air conversations. By far our favorite podcast.

  Listen to the episode here.

• Random Advice

  

  Written by Zeromage 2 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 14, 2008

  This bit of advice came from a friend of mine while he was out on a date with this chick, her friend, and her friend’s male friend.  The setting is in a crappy bar. My buddy went to the bathroom. While he was standing at the urinal he saw a fly up near the urinal handle. Its not the time of year for flies, so he decided to piss on the fly. Yes, this isn’t the most common way to kill a fly, but it will work. So, while attempting to piss on the fly he came to the conclusion that he didn’t have enough upwards force to hit the fly. So he decided to jump up in hopes that the added elevation would help him nail that fly. The fly was a really fat gross one, so you can see why anyone would want to piss on it so bad. While jumping up and down, the girl’s male friend walked into the bathroom. Aside from a bit of awkwardness, the guy seemed sort of cool with the whole jumping thing. My friend hastily left the bathroom and decided to tell the girls the truth behind the jumping around rather than have the other guy tell them about it later on. Jumping at a urinal could be easily misconstrued by anyone not seeing the fly. Well the girls were pretty much disgusted and the one has no interest in him anymore. So the whole point of the story is this. Next time you find yourself in a bathroom jumping up and down trying to piss on a fly, make sure you lock the door.
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