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• Ask Old-Wizard: Star Trek Part 2

  

  Written by Zeromage No Comments
  Last Updated:: November 20, 2009

  This week we answer some more of our reader’s Star Trek related questions. If you haven’t already, check out the first AOW Star Trek.

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• Top 10 WWF Matches of All Time

  

  Written by Zeromage 6 Comments
  Last Updated:: November 12, 2009

  Continuing with the retro wrestling theme, we move on to the Top 10 WWF matches of all time. Some matches in WWF history actually stand as being great wrestling matches. When you put 2 wrestlers in the ring who actually know how to wrestle and who have endurance you can actually see some good fake wrestling and judge it for it’s worth beyond entertainment. Of course there are the matches though where the entertainment factor trumps adroit wrestling skills. Both are featured in this list. Some purely entertainment matches were of massive significance to the WWF regardless of the skill involved. But the best skill matches had to be mentioned also. So here is the adumbration of the Top 10 WWF matches of all time.
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• Top 10 WWF Finishing Moves

  

  Written by Zeromage 16 Comments
  Last Updated:: November 5, 2009

  The Finishing move. The move to end the match most of the time (unless you were fighting either The Undertaker, Hogan, or The Ultimate Warrior). The finishing move defined the wrestler and the motley fans of the WWF. When you saw Hogan finish off his opponent with his apocryphal Leg Drop, you were jumping up and down out of your seat knowing that Hogan would retain the belt. When your favorite wrestler was in the sharpshooter, you were begging that he was near the ropes. Whatever finishing move it was, it accentuated the staged-wrestling format to new heights. It’s what everybody expected; it was the pay off. Is this the definitive Top 10 Finishing move lost on the internet? We think so.

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• Ask Old-Wizard: France

  

  Written by Sage 63 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 29, 2009

  Sage is back this week to answer some of our reader’s questions about France. That’s right, just when you thought Old-Wizard couldn’t get any more random, we do something like this.  The real question should really be “Why is anyone asking us anything about France anyway?” Oh well, since Sage has actually been there, we figured he should be the one to answer this random assortment of France-related questions.  Hope you enjoy:

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• Top 10 Most Re-Playable Games

  

  Written by Zeromage 105 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 22, 2009

  Those ever so important games. The games you could keep playing over and over until the break of dawn. The time, thought and programming that went into establishing a re-playable game is one of the hallmarks of a great gaming company. Sometimes games were made that were accidentally re-playable. A couple of those games are on this list, proving that sometimes the re-playability factor could happen out of nowhere. Try to add up the time you spent playing these next game and compare it to how much you lived your life. You’ll see that it had to have take up at least a small percent of your lifespan thus far. These games you can still play today, even though they’re all older games; the true test of the re-playability of a game.

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• Top 10 Overrated Songwriters

  

  Written by Zeromage 81 Comments
  Last Updated:: September 3, 2009

  Overrated Songwriters are a dime a dozen. Usually these songwriters are in a band that’s considered good (which means publicly covered in any way shape or form). These bands usually suck too because of the poor songwriter. Regardless, along with the band appearing as quality comes the harangues on why the songwriter is brilliant. The reasons for songwriting greatness is scarce when defined by any who goes off on these tangents. Relying on expressible gestures, these “music enthusiastic” appear more as monkeys than a more appropriate stoic gesture that conveys a tacit understanding of quality. These next songwriters are marks of men (and one female) who often arouse these identity masturbations. These songwriters are all generally considered as great songwriters, but a closer look at these songwriters will hopefully relegate the “music enthusiasts” gestures to the scrap heap.

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• Top 10 Ways To Tell if You’re Reading an Old-Wizard List

  

  Written by Sage 29 Comments
  Last Updated:: July 9, 2009

  OW sucks. Let’s be honest. Their articles are dull and uninspired. They write about the same things over and over again. They harp on the same ideas over and over again and they think they are so cool. In fact their articles are so boring that they have recently been popping up all over the internet including on other people’s websites. It seems that OW has struck a cord with a few people and they feel we deserve to be quoted. But how can you tell if it’s an OW article or not? Well we have compiled some of the most common ways according to some of our bigger fans. These are the folks who come back every week to leave us a comment, send us an email, or post about us in some random forum or another. According to the statistics, our fact checking kittens, and the chimp we just hired these are the best ways to know you are reading an OW list.

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• Top 10 Worst Video Games of All Time

  

  Written by Zeromage 122 Comments
  Last Updated:: July 1, 2009

  Most video games are stupid, especially games made by Sega for some reason. If you’re wondering, yes we are still barking up that same old tree. Anyway I digress. Before I get back to the intro to this our latest and greatest list there are a number of things that need to be addressed. First we never received any Venn diagrams of our Top 10 Worst Fanboys list as requested so hurry up, the t-shirts are still available. Second nobody has offered us vast sums of money so we can sell out, so break out those check books and get on it. Third and lastly, we have yet to receive any suitable applications of our new religion which we have just named OldWizardology. We very specifically said no losers and no poor people. Do not send us your tired huddle masses yearning to breath free, we want well rested small groups who yearn to give us money. That being said our lastest offering is an inspired list about the worst video games ever. These games were so terrible that we would be shocked to find out they actually covered their production costs. Was Shaq ever really that popular, does he really need a video game that isn’t based on basketball? And who would ever be inspired by the career of a paper boy so much that they create a whole game about it? Maybe someone should make a game about sweeping or perhaps sleeping. That might be as entertaining. On the other hand some games are just to terribly conceived that even we don’t know what to make of them or who would ever enjoy them. Here is what we here at OW think are the absolute worst games of all time. And yes there are some Nintendo games on there, you jerks.

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• Ask Old Wizard

  

  Written by Sage 40 Comments
  Last Updated:: June 28, 2009

  This week we answer some grammatically challenged questions from Nintendo Boy about Super Mario:

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• Top 10 Oasis Songs

  

  Written by Zeromage 77 Comments
  Last Updated:: June 25, 2009

  Making a best of Oasis list with only 10 of their songs on it is difficult for us here at Old-Wizard. A Top 100 would probably be difficult for us. We think every song they ever wrote was at least good. The proof is in the pudding. Look at this band’s b-sides and you will see the inordinate amount of quality songwriting possessed in the genius of Noel Gallagher. This attempt at putting together the top 10 Oasis songs should be seen as a preliminary attempt at an impossible task. Yes, this is how good we think Oasis are. You have a problem with that? Just make sure Be Here Now isn’t playing on the jukebox or you’ll be done.
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