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  • Why I don’t like Elvis

    old-wizard.com
    Written by Zeromage 7 Comments
    Last Updated:: December 3, 2007

    elvis.jpgSaying Elvis Presley is the King of Rock and Roll is like saying Vanilla Ice is the king of rap. While it is true that Vanilla Ice brought rap to white suburbia and was the first rapper to earn a #1 single on the billboard charts, let’s be real, the guy was a toolbox and a rip-off of the black artists that came before him. Hmm…does this scenario sound familiar? Elvis took the heavily underground and rich history of juke-joint blues and gospel, put a white face on it, watered it down, and sold it to the commercial masses. His curse was that he, like the Ice Man, became every bit as exploited as the music they pilfered. Maybe that Hound Dog was really just a Hellhound on his Trail.

    • Top 5 80’s Family Sitcoms

      old-wizard.com
      Written by Zeromage 11 Comments
      Last Updated:: December 1, 2007

      The popular sitcoms of the 80’s were predominantly tacky family oriented shows with sappy endings and average problems throughout. This is why we’re so interested in them and in want of making our own list of these forgotten masterpieces of banality. It’s only with a hint of subtle criticism in the last sentence that we can contain our excitement about talking about the fine qualities of Alan Thicke and Tony Danza, not to mention the beauty of Justine Bateman and Alyssa Milano. Regardless whether or not one was a family-man or woman, there was a lot to learn from the family sitcom in the 80’s, from the youthful expressions of Michael J Fox, to the sophisticated positions on earth life in Alf. Everywhere, one could find a show that would taste like a heavy chocolate at Christmas, and smell like a bed of flowers from your suburban front yard. As with all lists, there were some difficult omissions, in this case, “Cheers” (who says your family can’t be your drinking buddies at your local bar). We have a feeling though that no one will really have a problem with this omission, as it is only us at Old-Wizard who think about what the best 80’s family sitcoms are anyway.

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      • Top 5 Video Game Soundtracks

        old-wizard.com
        Written by Zeromage 29 Comments
        Last Updated:: November 30, 2007

        When a video game has great music, it usually points to the care in creation that’s needed to be make one of the better games of all time. As you’ll notice, the games on this list are also some of the greatest games ever made. You won’t be finding “Paperboy” or “Ghouls n’ Goblins” on this list. Only the best games have the best music. They go hand in hand. When you travel the world of a great RPG, great music is a necessity for identifying the different lands. When climbing up a dark, shadowy castle, appropriate music is needed to instill a feeling of unease in the gamer, and this all must be done in a unique way to give the game its claim for greatness, an ambition that’s not necessarily sought after in modern gaming. After close inspection in our listening sessions, we have chosen these 5 video games. The music in these games reminded us of playing them at younger ages, and sometimes overcame us with a sense of forlornness, in knowing that these games can’t hit us again like they hit us the first time we played them. Nonetheless, the music in our top 5 video game soundtracks are the best examples of great music in great games, music so great that they are often instinctively listened to even when not playing the game, maybe even in your car when you’re around the right crowd of nerds who could appreciate such a thing.

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        • Comic Book Review: World War Hulk Issue #5

          old-wizard.com
          Written by Zeromage 7 Comments
          Last Updated:: November 17, 2007

          The first thing I noticed about World War Hulk #5 was how terrible the artwork was. This is perhaps the worst Romita art I’ve ever seen. It was sloppy and inexorably sketchy. Not only was the artwork irritating, but the storyline was abominable too. The issue opens up with Mr. Fantastic on his way to killing Iron Man (Tony Stark) thanks to the Hulk’s obedience disk, and then seemingly without cause, the Hulk deciding to spare them, with Mr. Fantastic’s mace hitting the ground beside Tony’s head. So he decides not to kill the Illuminati after all, which was okay, but then why the hell did he give a thumbs down at the end of issue #4? Did he get confused about the signal? Was he planning on laughing at the expressions on their faces? In any event, when Rick Jones takes this as a sign that he was right and the Hulk wasn’t a killer, the Hulk responds by saying that although no one on Earth died at the hands of Warbound or himself, he plans on destroying New York City and leaving the Illuminati to their shame. Remind me how were the Illuminati wrong again to send the Hulk into space?

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          • Movie Review: The Fantastic 4 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer

            old-wizard.com
            Written by Zeromage No Comments
            Last Updated:: November 3, 2007

            ff2.jpgWalking into the movie theater having seen the trailer for The Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer about 30 times, I was as giddy as a school boy. My anticipation for this movie had slowly grown to epic proportions ever since I first found out the surfer would be in a live action feature film. I re-read all my Silver Surfer comics, spent hours trying to unlock the surfer in Marvel Ultimate Alliance for Xbox, and I even broke out my Silver Surfer action figure in numerous staged battles between him and Beta Ray Bill on my living room floor.

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            • Comic Book Review: World War Hulk Issues 1-4

              old-wizard.com
              Written by Zeromage 4 Comments
              Last Updated:: September 30, 2007

              world-war-hulk-most-powerful-superheroMarvel Comics has a new crossover series going on right now called World War Hulk. The casual comic book fan may be wondering why Marvel would create a crossover series with a simple-minded character that utters stupid phrases like “Hulk smash!” (Hey, it could be worse, he could say “It’s clobbering time!”). Anyway, most hardcore Marvel fans know the Hulk has great potential to be a really fun character to read. I personally had been steering away from Hulk comics for a while due to the stupid storylines that had become commonplace in Hulk comics recently. How many times is the Jade Giant supposed to fight dumb characters and then run away because Bruce Banner feels bad? So, after reading the Civil War crossover I began wondering where the heck the Hulk was in this mess, since I hadn’t been reading Hulk comics for a while. Glancing at my stacks of comics, I noticed that he been tricked into a space ship by four members of the super hero group the Illuminati (Reed Richards, Iron Man, Dr. Strange, and Black Bolt), and then rocketed into space. Eventually he ended up on the distant planet Sakaar, dressed as a gladiator. Well, that sparked the ole interest, and I began reading what has been one of the best crossover comics that I’ve read in a while.

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              • Top 10 Nerd Musicians of All Time

                destructomaximo
                Written by destructomaximo 13 Comments
                Last Updated:: September 3, 2007

                So since pretty much the beginning of time nerds and music have gone hand in hand, yet there has never been a top ten musical nerds list! WTF? There seems to be a non-explicable status jump from high school band geek to ultra-cool band dude. Is this enigma a natural cocoon cycle? Is there some hibernation period where nerds wrap up puberty while growing their hair out, learning licks, and waiting for their clothes to become chic? I think the answer is yes, but I also think these hipsters never loose their nerdiness…and this is the summer of the nerd. You have Dinosaur Jr. and seBADoh making comebacks, Weezer announcing a new album, every songwriter in the world wears cheap black plastic frames, nerdiness in music has never been more prevalent! So here’s MY list: Top Ten musical nerds. Enjoy!

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                • Dateline: Dave Matthews

                  old-wizard.com
                  Written by Zeromage No Comments
                  Last Updated:: September 2, 2007

                  dave-matthews-band-bnr01.jpgTime: Gov’t Mule just finished playing. It felt bloody late. Time and space didnt matter, as I traveled through both freely.

                  Plot: I just finished dancing my crazy twinkle toes off jammin to the funkalicious grooves of GM. I found my stomach growing hungry and looking for chow. I walked from the stage to the sound canopy. It took forever. Some dude was playing a flute and I thought it was old Ian Anderson. He was definately eyeing little girls with bad intent. Yeah aqualung!

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