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  • Top 5 Swedish Bands

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    Written by Zeromage 23 Comments
    Last Updated:: July 14, 2008

    There are many countries that are recognized first and foremost for their quality of music. Two of the most obvious countries are England and the United States. The musical battle between these two empires has lasted a good half a century now. Little do the fighters of these countries realize that some of best pop music of the last century came from Sweden. Unfortunately though, when someone mentions Swedish music they are usually trying to reference some punk band like The Refused. This website does not find punk music to be the best of anything, so anyone looking for The Hives to be on this list can go look on some generic best of punk list instead. With this list, we celebrate Sweden for its pop music that has influenced some of the stronger bands of today. We urge everyone to check out these bands if they haven’t yet.

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    • Top 5 Worst Music Magazines

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      Written by Zeromage 17 Comments
      Last Updated:: July 6, 2008

      As the avid Old-Wizard reader knows, we love music. We have written articles on musical themes which one can read under our music category. We were at the local book store the other day reading music magazines when DestructoMaximo shouted “this magazine sucks”, throwing down the publication with a force that turned the entire store’s head. After being confronted by a store manager, we decided to calm down and think of productive ways to displace our anger. The “top 5 worst music magazines” immediately came to both of our heads. Within a second we wrote down what 5 we disliked most. We clearly agreed on the first four and had to discuss the last. We took our anger out on our laptop keyboards and wrote this article fairly quickly. We both know that we will still glance at these pathetic excuses for music magazines, but it’s only because we like being angry at things that will we continue to make ourselves suffer by opening up these publications, even if for only a second.

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      • Top 10 Most Overrated Bands

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        Written by Zeromage 55 Comments
        Last Updated:: July 1, 2008

        Pop music as a field of art has been notorious in exaggerating the importance of its own work. From the more naïve claims of divinity by certain artists, to the subtle interpolations of an artist’s songs to anywhere that a sound system projects, pop music has found itself as the most conspicuous signifier of the age of self-importance. Nowhere is this seen more than the fans and followers of bands who momentarily become enamored by a nuanced style. This implicit privileging of difference as the most superlative of qualities in a work of art has guided not only pop music’s actual creations, but the popular connotations of pop music itself.

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        • Top 20 Star Wars Characters

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          Written by Zeromage 32 Comments
          Last Updated:: June 12, 2008

          star-wars-4-poster-01.jpgAnyone visiting Old-Wizard.com must know that the three original Star Wars movies are some of our favorite movies of all time. Our appreciation does not always end in satisfied acquiescence though, as debate quickly occurs about what the best movie in the series is. Another debate that manifests itself in our nerdy Star Wars discussions is who our favorite characters are in the series. You’ll know if someone is a true Star Wars nerd by the fact that they immediately choose a minor character as their favorite. Wedge and Lando are typically immediate responses from the authentic Star Wars nerd. No one would be caught dead actually saying that Luke was their favorite character for fear of being ostracized from the Star Wars community. It’s as if you weren’t aware of all the discrete information in the Star Wars series by picking someone so obvious. With this in mind, we thought it important to not write just a “Top 10 Star Wars characters” list, but a “Top 20″ list so we could do justice to the not so obvious choices that are often ironically overlooked. Without further ado, here is our Star Wars list for nerds and faux-nerds alike. (more…)

          • Ask Old-Wizard: Star Wars Edition

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            Written by Zeromage 8 Comments
            Last Updated:: June 7, 2008

            Next week we will be releasing our Top 20 Star Wars Characters List, and with that in mind, I decided to answer only Star Wars related questions this week. I’ve received quite a few since we released our Top 5 Worst Star Wars Characters List a while back, and I’m sure I’ll be answering more in the future, so keep sending them.

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            • Top 10 Most Powerful Superheroes of All Time

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              Written by Zeromage 1,945 Comments
              Last Updated:: May 23, 2008

              Here it is folks, the biggest debate on the whole interweb. Never has there been a more well thought out argument for a completely non-existent thing. Which superhero could beat up which other superhero. Never has a group of people spent more time drawing graphs, doing calculations, making charts, and writing computer programs to prove that the hero they love is in fact the toughest. These people do more literature searches than a graduate student writing their dissertation on literature. One can only imagine what world problems could be solved if comic book nerds would instead focus this same energy on say; poverty, healthcare, the climate, pollution, the economy, childhood obesity, cancer, sudden infant death syndrome, racism, genetic disorders, violence against women, the melting ice caps, sending a man to mars, depression, solving Goldbach’s conjecture, creating a unified field theory, un-raveling the mystery of DNA, figuring out what happened before the big bang, resolving religious tensions in the Middle East, finding peace on Earth, making cleaner cars, sustainable energy, nuclear fission, getting rid of hippies, and the million other things that would make this world a better place to live in.

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              • Top 10 Bands of The 90’s

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                Written by Zeromage 41 Comments
                Last Updated:: May 9, 2008

                When one reads or watches a “traditional” best bands of all time list, the assumptions get unquestioned. What happens is that people who profess to be “music listeners” accept these lists without ever asking themselves “Why the fuck should I listen to anything VH1 says”. When one list “argues” for its content, others will follow suit without ever questioning the quality of the bands on the list. This being utterly lost and absorbed in the publicness of the “they” solidifies the image of bands and best bands for decades and maybe even centuries to come. For example, you will get a “traditional” barrage of answers on what the best bands from the 90’s are from people who don’t realize they are simply restating what they saw or read on the most public of public media.

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                • Top 30 Seinfeld Characters

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                  Written by Zeromage 16 Comments
                  Last Updated:: May 8, 2008

                  seinfeld.jpgThe staff members here at Old-Wizard are in unanimous agreement that Seinfeld is the best TV show ever created. While not ostensibly having anything to do with the prevalent “nerd” theme of the site, we can leap beyond the formal bounds of logic and make the connections regardless. George? C’mon, This guy has got to be the coolest uptight 4-eyed nerd we have ever seen on TV. Kramer? Who else in modern sitcoms has been described as a “Hipster Doofus”? Elaine? Only the nerdiest of nerds dances as poorly as Elaine does. The list goes on and on as nerds can be seen everywhere in the show from Newman to Babu. So while at first it seems like a “Top 30 characters of Seinfeld” list seems out of reach for the basic theme of the website, at closer inspection, it seems somewhat appropriate. Like all our lists, we thought long and hard about who would be included. For this “Top Characters of Seinfeld” list specifically, we had to increase the list to 30 after all the noticeable omissions we were making in the original top 20 list. Theoretically, we could have even made a top 40 list that would have included most of the minor characters in the Seinfeld series, but some of the roles were so small, it would be difficult to write anything on them, beyond their desiderate one liners. Being satisfied at 30, we present you with the definitive “greatest characters in Seinfeld” list.

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                  • Top 5 Worst Star Wars Characters

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                    Written by Zeromage 39 Comments
                    Last Updated:: May 2, 2008

                    The Star Wars series was full of some of our favorite movie characters of all time. In the near future, we will be releasing our favorite characters of all time from the series, but for now our focus will be on the worst ones. During the original trilogy it was rare for George Lucas to ever make a mistake in production, storyline, and character development. But since then he certainly HAS made his mistakes, mostly in the newly released episodes 1-3 which had more things wrong with them than great about them. To start with, there were characters in these episodes who were not only forgettable, but stultifyingly annoying. That Lucas ever thought these next characters could pass for the greatness of Star Wars lore makes no sense for the diehard fan of the series. That episodes 1-3 would become forgotten because of Lucas’s interpolations in these movies was a fate that would become certain after one watched episode 3. The superfluous nature of these next characters will be recognizable signifiers of a movie series gone wrong. The diehard Star Wars fan though will always have the crass demeanor of Han Solo to bring back memories of all the characters from the old series that they had come to love. Just look at all the action figures collected from the original series compared to those collected from the new series to understand the different degrees of affectation that the characters in each had. With this in mind, the difference between the character development in both was obvious and will be addressed in this list.

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                    • Top 5 Girls From the Wonder Years

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                      Written by Zeromage 18 Comments
                      Last Updated:: April 18, 2008

                      cast.jpgThe Wonder Years was full of amazing dialogues, and amazing actors. For the boys who watched these episodes in their young age though, all that really mattered were the girls in the show, the girls that Kevin would inevitably end up falling for. They represented all the different girls that they wanted to meet themselves growing up through their teenage years, from the girl next door, to the seemingly unattainable girl who digs you to your disbelief. All the swings of teenage romance were palpable in the Wonder Years, from a first kiss, to a first slap, to a first possibility of infidelity. It’s with this in mind that we rank the women of the Wonder Years, in hopes of bringing back the images of these women from a golden era who embodied the grace and class of a gender currently lost.

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