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• Top 10 80’s Cartoons

  

  Written by Zeromage 195 Comments
  Last Updated:: September 22, 2008

  Oh the 80’s. The decade that gave us the Wonder Years, Who’s the Boss, great video games and a flippant hairstyle as high as a skyriser. What else could the 80’s be known for? What about all the great cartoons that came out in the 80’s? In this list, we will go through what we think are the top 10 cartoons from the 80’s. These are the cartoons that we watched after school, before school, on weekends, and any time we had the privilege to tape the shows on our VCR (mostly after school though). We wanted to revisit these gems to let everyone remember how amazing cartoons were in their yesteryear. We thought about these cartoons in our sleep and talked about them at class during the day. Here then are our the greatest cartoons of the 80’s.

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• Top 5 Reasons Why You Watch Everybody Loves Raymond

  

  Written by Zeromage 9 Comments
  Last Updated:: September 8, 2008

  “Everybody Love Raymond” has secured for itself a seemingly never ending rotation on modern TV. This show usually runs around 7 o’ clock on multiple channels at once. There must be a reason for this show’s popularity, right? We at Old-Wizard though find this show to be one of the most noticeable signifiers of western civilization at its lowest point. In this article, we’ll go through why anyone would watch this show with any sense of enjoyment. Hopefully we won’t offend the “Everybody Loves Raymond” bandwagon too much with this article, but as always with Old-Wizard, we aren’t out to coddle that which is shit.
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• Top 10 American Bands

  

  Written by destructomaximo 56 Comments
  Last Updated:: August 16, 2008

  After releasing the Top 10 British Bands of all time and the Top 5 Swedish Bands of all time, it was only a matter of time before we released a “Top 10 American Bands” list. Sticking to bands within our generation helped narrow the long list of bands on our original roster, which was more like the top 1000 American bands. Luckily, we rethought our list after a fateful computer crash. As usual, this list has nothing to do with chart positions or albums sold, simply what we like. Since we are always right, take note, dear reader, and go get whatever you might not have from this list. Kisses fu%#ers.

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• Why the Sentry is the Worst Comic Book Character of All Time

  

  Written by Zeromage 10 Comments
  Last Updated:: August 2, 2008

  In theory the Sentry is a really cool superhero. But the unfortunate reality is that whenever the Sentry actually makes an appearance in a comic book he usually ruins the story. Why does Marvel continue to use this character? No one can seem to write him correctly. The best and most recent example of this is in the very poorly written World War Hulk storyline when he fought the Hulk. He is supposed to possess the power of “a million exploding suns”, but yet, when we see him “unleash his power like never before” (in Reed Richard’s words) he merely destroys a few city blocks on Manhattan Island and even normal mortals are left alive and uninjured standing right next to ground zero. Given what we previously knew about the Sentry he should have utterly destroyed the Hulk in a one on one confrontation, even in a simple, not to mention predictable slug-fest (which is pretty much what the much anticipated fight between the two powerhouses turned out to be). Why didn’t the Sentry unleash his other powers on the Hulk? Why didn’t the Sentry calm down the Hulk (much like Reed Richards’ synthetic version of the Sentry’s calming effect almost did to the Hulk just a couple of issues before)?

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• Ask Old-Wizard: Lord of The Rings Edition

  

  Written by Zeromage 7 Comments
  Last Updated:: July 30, 2008

  

  This week we answer some of our readers’ Lord of the Rings related questions:

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• Comic Book Preview: Hulk #5

  

  Written by Zeromage 20 Comments
  Last Updated:: July 26, 2008

  In case you haven’t heard yet, there’s a brand new Hulk running around smashing people in the Marvel Universe. He’s just like the regular Hulk, except he’s red and he gives off gamma radiation. Oh, and he uses a big gun. The Red Hulk has already defeated the Abomination, She-Hulk, Iron Man, the Green Hulk, and most ridiculously, knocked out the Watcher. Yes, you read that right, he knocked out the Watcher. And now it looks like he’ll be going toe-to-toe with everyone’s favorite Norse thunder god, the Mighty Thor in Hulk #5.

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• Thor vs the Silver Surfer

  

  Written by Zeromage 95 Comments
  Last Updated:: July 25, 2008

  As the avid Old-Wizard reader knows, a while back we released a “Top Ten Most Powerful Superheroes” list, and then last week we decided to defend some of our choices (especially in picking Thor as the number one most powerful superhero over Superman, which seemed to have angered many of our readers). You can read that article here. But as many emails pointed out last week, we never actually discussed why the Silver Surfer was lower than Thor on our list. Makes sense… Superman was number three on our list, while the Surfer was our number two pick. So this week we decided to break down the reasons why we chose to place Thor at number one on our most powerful superhero list over the Silver Surfer. This was actually the hardest decision that we had to make on the entire list, and we argued about it for hours (well, we’ve been arguing about this one since we were in high school) but we finally decided on making Thor the number one most powerful superhero of all time. And here are the reasons:

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• Noel Gallagher ties Video Games to Stabbings

  

  Written by Zeromage 4 Comments
  Last Updated:: July 20, 2008

  Everyone who visits Old-Wizard from time to time knows how much we prop up Oasis like most nerds prop up Star Wars. But our love for Oasis may have found its limits when Noel Gallagher criticized video games for creating all the high crime rate in the UK. In the past year, knife crimes have been up big time in the UK. Could this all be because of video games like Noel Gallagher thinks? First off, what video games are out there where the main weapon is a knife and theme of the game is knifing people? Violence in video games has become much more elaborate than the puny blades belonging to the likes of Arthur from Ghosts N’ Goblins. Is there a correlation between violence in video games and any type of violence whatsoever? Often, politicians and role models alike will try to find scapegoats for spikes in violence by blaming the video game market, but the evidence is always inconclusive. We love Noel Gallagher, but we suggest he sticks to writing great songs rather than being a social critic against video games. We’re pretty sure he has never actually played any.

• Top 10 Reasons Oasis is Better than The Beatles

  

  Written by Zeromage 94 Comments
  Last Updated:: July 18, 2008

  Ever since Oasis has been called one of the greatest bands of all time, they have also been called Beatles copy cats. This is unfortunate as Oasis are better than The Beatles. The staff of Old-Wizard.com listens to Oasis about 10 times the amount of time we spend listening to The Beatles. We thought to ourselves, “What makes Oasis so much better than the Beatles”? This question was easy for us, and we came up with ten reasons in less time than it takes a Beatles fan to call Oasis a “rip off”. We hope these next reasons give some credence to the Oasis enterprise, if not totally change the mind of all those music fans who like to bash Oasis for some unfounded reasons. Say to yourself right now, “are you ready to say that Oasis are better than the Beatles?” Here we go!

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• Thor vs. Superman

  

  Written by Zeromage 1,817 Comments
  Last Updated:: July 15, 2008

  The Mighty Thor and Superman are the heavy-hitters of Marvel and DC respectively, each of them arguably the most powerful hero in their respective universes. So its natural that this is without question the most discussed versus debate amongst comic book fans. No other versus battle comes close to being talked about as much than this one.  Try to start a “Superman vs Thor” thread on any forum and the first response is sure to be: “Not this again”.

  Some of you may remember our “Top 10 Most Powerful Superheroes” list that we released a while back, where we made the controversial claim that Thor was the most powerful superhero of all time (Superman coming in at number three on that list). Months later we are still receiving emails either agreeing with us, or flaming us for that decision. Many fans cite Superman’s speed as the deciding factor in any fight between the two behemoths. Other emails claim that Thor’s magical powers would be enough to stop the man of steel in his tracks. So, the natural question is, do we still stand by our claim that Thor is more powerful than Superman? The answer is still “yes.” In this article we’ll break down the seven most common arguments and give you our take on them.

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