» Music

• Noel Gallagher ties Video Games to Stabbings

  

  Written by Zeromage 4 Comments
  Last Updated:: July 20, 2008

  Everyone who visits Old-Wizard from time to time knows how much we prop up Oasis like most nerds prop up Star Wars. But our love for Oasis may have found its limits when Noel Gallagher criticized video games for creating all the high crime rate in the UK. In the past year, knife crimes have been up big time in the UK. Could this all be because of video games like Noel Gallagher thinks? First off, what video games are out there where the main weapon is a knife and theme of the game is knifing people? Violence in video games has become much more elaborate than the puny blades belonging to the likes of Arthur from Ghosts N’ Goblins. Is there a correlation between violence in video games and any type of violence whatsoever? Often, politicians and role models alike will try to find scapegoats for spikes in violence by blaming the video game market, but the evidence is always inconclusive. We love Noel Gallagher, but we suggest he sticks to writing great songs rather than being a social critic against video games. We’re pretty sure he has never actually played any.

• Top 10 Reasons Oasis is Better than The Beatles

  

  Written by Zeromage 141 Comments
  Last Updated:: July 18, 2008

  Ever since Oasis has been called one of the greatest bands of all time, they have also been called Beatles copy cats. This is unfortunate as Oasis are better than The Beatles. The staff of Old-Wizard.com listens to Oasis about 10 times the amount of time we spend listening to The Beatles. We thought to ourselves, “What makes Oasis so much better than the Beatles”? This question was easy for us, and we came up with ten reasons in less time than it takes a Beatles fan to call Oasis a “rip off”. We hope these next reasons give some credence to the Oasis enterprise, if not totally change the mind of all those music fans who like to bash Oasis for some unfounded reasons. Say to yourself right now, “are you ready to say that Oasis are better than the Beatles?” Here we go!

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• Top 5 Swedish Bands

  

  Written by Zeromage 28 Comments
  Last Updated:: July 14, 2008

  There are many countries that are recognized first and foremost for their quality of music. Two of the most obvious countries are England and the United States. The musical battle between these two empires has lasted a good half a century now. Little do the fighters of these countries realize that some of best pop music of the last century came from Sweden. Unfortunately though, when someone mentions Swedish music they are usually trying to reference some punk band like The Refused. This website does not find punk music to be the best of anything, so anyone looking for The Hives to be on this list can go look on some generic best of punk list instead. With this list, we celebrate Sweden for its pop music that has influenced some of the stronger bands of today. We urge everyone to check out these bands if they haven’t yet.

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• Top 5 Worst Music Magazines

  

  Written by Zeromage 23 Comments
  Last Updated:: July 6, 2008

  As the avid Old-Wizard reader knows, we love music. We have written articles on musical themes which one can read under our music category. We were at the local book store the other day reading music magazines when DestructoMaximo shouted “this magazine sucks”, throwing down the publication with a force that turned the entire store’s head. After being confronted by a store manager, we decided to calm down and think of productive ways to displace our anger. The “top 5 worst music magazines” immediately came to both of our heads. Within a second we wrote down what 5 we disliked most. We clearly agreed on the first four and had to discuss the last. We took our anger out on our laptop keyboards and wrote this article fairly quickly. We both know that we will still glance at these pathetic excuses for music magazines, but it’s only because we like being angry at things that will we continue to make ourselves suffer by opening up these publications, even if for only a second.

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• Top 10 Most Overrated Bands

  

  Written by Zeromage 63 Comments
  Last Updated:: July 1, 2008

  Pop music as a field of art has been notorious in exaggerating the importance of its own work. From the more naïve claims of divinity by certain artists, to the subtle interpolations of an artist’s songs to anywhere that a sound system projects, pop music has found itself as the most conspicuous signifier of the age of self-importance. Nowhere is this seen more than the fans and followers of bands who momentarily become enamored by a nuanced style. This implicit privileging of difference as the most superlative of qualities in a work of art has guided not only pop music’s actual creations, but the popular connotations of pop music itself.

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• Top 10 Bands of The 90’s

  

  Written by Zeromage 53 Comments
  Last Updated:: May 9, 2008

  When one reads or watches a “traditional” best bands of all time list, the assumptions get unquestioned. What happens is that people who profess to be “music listeners” accept these lists without ever asking themselves “Why the fuck should I listen to anything VH1 says”. When one list “argues” for its content, others will follow suit without ever questioning the quality of the bands on the list. This being utterly lost and absorbed in the publicness of the “they” solidifies the image of bands and best bands for decades and maybe even centuries to come. For example, you will get a “traditional” barrage of answers on what the best bands from the 90’s are from people who don’t realize they are simply restating what they saw or read on the most public of public media.

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• Top 10 Bands of the New Century

  

  Written by Zeromage 23 Comments
  Last Updated:: April 4, 2008

  The passing into the new century was a landmark event for the popular arts. Critical reviews of their past forms became common place in their information mediums. Pop music specifically saw itself in need of a transformation into minimalized modes of execution. This insistence combined with the diminution of the major label as that which defined quality, led to more open ideas of what quality was. The two-edged sword of this phenomena created some great bands in the new century, along with bands who equated this new found freedom for an “anything-goes” attitude. This lack for a formal understanding of quality could lead bands into new sonic frontiers while at the same time leading these bands into below-average songwriting. As expression for the sake of itself became the only grounds for quality, anything and everything was fair game in being recognized as good. There were bands though who superseded this flexibility of quality by recognizing the power of songwriting, purely in itself. These bands who were able to combine the sonic territories of the new century with the invariable aspects of good songwriting are given a rank in this list. These next bands have the signature of the new century written all over them, although still imbued with the sense of traditional songwriting that leads to memorable melodies. With these next bands in mind, we will see that the sonic flow of history need not forget it’s invariable characteristics from the past.

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• Top 10 British Bands of All Time

  

  Written by Zeromage 116 Comments
  Last Updated:: April 3, 2008

  The British have given us much, from tea and crumpets, to Winston Churchill, to advanced naval technology, but their most conspicuous gratuity has been their pop music. Consistently, British music dominates pop music from other countries without ever seeming like they’re trying. Whether it comes to pure song craft, sonic innovation, or showmanship, the British always seem to know exactly about the modes of pop music. It’s not our intention to start a war of nations over who has the best music, and this is why our article is not a “Top 10 Music Countries”. Regardless of the caution in these preliminary remarks though, we do expect a certain amount of criticism from the most obvious omission. We asked ourselves what British music we listen to and enjoy the most and this became our list. If we were to base our list on more popular guidelines this omission would not be made, but as this article is focused on what we listen to the most, we could only answer honestly by what we listen to day to day. Here then are Old-Wizard’s top ten British bands of all time.

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• Toxic Toast

  

  Written by Zeromage 1 Comment
  Last Updated:: December 7, 2007

  Here’s an original number I wrote. It should be sung to the beat of “Toxic Toast” by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. It also helps to envision yourself as Spiderman taking a vacation to the X-men mansion in a crossover comic.

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• Why I don’t like Elvis

  

  Written by Zeromage 7 Comments
  Last Updated:: December 3, 2007

  Saying Elvis Presley is the King of Rock and Roll is like saying Vanilla Ice is the king of rap. While it is true that Vanilla Ice brought rap to white suburbia and was the first rapper to earn a #1 single on the billboard charts, let’s be real, the guy was a toolbox and a rip-off of the black artists that came before him. Hmm…does this scenario sound familiar? Elvis took the heavily underground and rich history of juke-joint blues and gospel, put a white face on it, watered it down, and sold it to the commercial masses. His curse was that he, like the Ice Man, became every bit as exploited as the music they pilfered. Maybe that Hound Dog was really just a Hellhound on his Trail.
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