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  • 10 Tips For Using Public Restrooms

    old-wizard.com
    Written by Zeromage 66 Comments
    Last Updated:: October 13, 2008

    Chances are that if you have a job, or if you ever have had occasion to leave your house, you’ve had to use a public restroom at one time or another. Yes, the sad truth is we all wish that we had the superhuman ability to hold it in until we got back to the comfort and safety of our own home, but sometimes its just plain unavoidable. Of course some restrooms are worse than others, and depending on the size of your bladder you might have experienced some really bad restrooms (Heck, I’ve even had to go at Taco Bell once). That’s why we decided to write this list. To give you, the faithful Old-Wizard.com reader, the benefit of our many years of experience in dealing with public bathrooms. This list only applies to men’s rooms, because although we’ve heard rumors, whispers of legends, and childhood stories, none of us has ever dared venture into a women’s room and therefore cannot comment on what they look like.

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    • Top 5 Racing Games

      old-wizard.com
      Written by Zeromage 28 Comments
      Last Updated:: October 13, 2008

      mario-kart-64.jpgRacing games have been the thrill of the video game universe ever since the early days of the arcade. In every arcade you went into you would find racing games that tried to emulate the real thing. These games though, are not included in this list. In this list, we’ll cover the best racing games for the console generation. As always, our retro instincts made us think of choices that weren’t the “high fi” racing games of the day that can be tedious and same-y to use anyways. We are confident that this list will bring back memories of all the great racing games of the past. If not, then you truly haven’t played the best racing games of all time.

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      • The Top 10 Arcade Games

        old-wizard.com
        Written by Zeromage 28 Comments
        Last Updated:: October 12, 2008

        There was a time when mastering arcade games was more important than going to your brother’s wedding. Nowadays the majority of people play video games on their console or PC, but a long time ago the passionate game player was overjoyed when he knew that he would be spending the rest of his day in a large cavern filled with arcade games. At any moment he could choose between playing a one on one fighting game, a virtual simulated racing game, a traditional game like Pac-Man, or a co-op multiplayer like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, where players would be popping in quarters until the last bit of Shredder was shredded.

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        • Top 13 Scariest Video Games

          old-wizard.com
          Written by Zeromage 40 Comments
          Last Updated:: October 10, 2008

          friday13-2.jpgIt’s October. The leaves are falling, pumpkins are being smashed and video game nerds are breaking out all their scary video games from the past. Which are the scariest though? In this list we will go through what video games frightened the gamer to the core of his being while trying to find their way through the game. Some games just plain nailed the spooky quality needed to make a game scary by accentuating the moody soundtrack and making the enemies horrifying to look at. Some of the choices on this list may not be obvious, but on second look the reader will understand what could make a simple game like Pac-Man for so scary, which we will start off with first.

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          • Top 5 Reasons Not to Vote

            old-wizard.com
            Written by Zeromage 16 Comments
            Last Updated:: October 10, 2008

            It’s the prime of the political season and everyone is going ape-shit over who they’re going to vote for and why. What causes this exaggerated mania? There are many reasons. Everywhere you look in modern mediums of communication, you hear about the presidential election like we are approaching the apocalypse. You are being force fed canards about how important it is to vote and how your vote “counts”. In this brief list, we will go through the reasons why not to vote, and how this over-exaggeration for having to vote is not the God given privilege of being “civically responsible”, but the animal herd trying to express it’s identity in it’s banality.

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            • Top 10 Signs You Play Too Many Video Games

              old-wizard.com
              Written by Zeromage 63 Comments
              Last Updated:: October 5, 2008

              There are many ways to know that you’ve played too many video games in your day. Some reasons are more obvious than others. Ever get that pain in your hands from holding a controller too long? Ever need to get up and go to the bathroom to see if your eyes still work? Ever refer to yourself in public as the “blue bomber”? The signs are numerous for this phenomena, and in this list we’ll go through the top ten ways to know that you’ve played too many video games. This was a difficult list to make as there were so many signs that you are knee deep in the video game world…and never coming back. Are you, like us, one of these people who are never coming back to “reality”? Here’s how you can tell.

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              • Top 10 Problems with Modern Games

                old-wizard.com
                Written by Zeromage 102 Comments
                Last Updated:: October 2, 2008

                ph2008042600147.jpgThe Golden age of video games saw its height in the 16 bit era when SNES and The Genesis were in a console war over who had the best games. SNES came out on top which we discuss in numerous articles on Old-Wizard, and stood out as the most creative moment in the video game medium’s brief history. Where has the Golden age gone? Today’s games lack everything great about those old NES and SNES games. In this list, we will go through the reasons why the games of the modern era lack the power of the older generation. We could only hope that modern game makers realize the creative insurgence of the 16 bit era and try to recapture it for the next generation.

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                • Top 5 Tips For Beating Ghosts and Goblins

                  old-wizard.com
                  Written by Zeromage 13 Comments
                  Last Updated:: October 2, 2008

                  ghostsn-goblins-2.gifAs we have stated in previous articles, Ghosts N’ Goblins is one of the most difficult games of all time. We are lucky to get by the first level. If we ever made it to the second, it was in jest as our energy would be fully expended at this point. In this list, we will go through five tips on how to beat Ghosts N’ Goblins which is arguably the hardest game of all time which was appropriately ranked #3 in our hardest video games of all time. Some of these next tips may be unorthodox, but they are imperative for any success in this immensely difficult game. Anyone who has beaten Ghosts N’ Goblins had to do at least 3 of these next five tips.

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                  • Top 10 Final Bosses

                    old-wizard.com
                    Written by Zeromage 32 Comments
                    Last Updated:: October 1, 2008

                    The final boss of the video game medium defined all of our hopes and fears. They defined the last obstacle before we attained our ultimate goals. They defined what would be in store for us at the end of our long adventure. They sometimes even haunted us in our dreams (like when I was dreaming of running away from Bowser as he was spitting fireballs at me. It actually turned out to be my dog breathing in my face). In this list, we will go through the most memorable final bosses of the video game medium in hopes of rekindling some of these haunting phenomena. We just hope they don’t haunt us now like they did when we were 12 years old, but we’re honest enough to know they probably will, since we haven’t grown up.

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                    • Top 10 Ways to Tell if You’re a Poser Nerd

                      old-wizard.com
                      Written by Zeromage 38 Comments
                      Last Updated:: September 23, 2008

                      Being a nerd these days is as fashionable as mimicking Audrey Hepburn-esque poses when one knows they’re being photographed. Everyone wants to be nerd. Its socially sexy, and everywhere we hear people saying “well at heart, I’m just a nerd”. What these people don’t know though, is that there are a group of real nerds who grew up drinking Mountain Dew and collecting Star Wars action figures. Their bedrooms were filled with He-Man posters and X-Wings attached to their ceilings. Those who say they’re really “nerds at heart” never endured an entire night of Dungeon and Dragons or planned an entire day out to beat Mega Man 1-8. In this list, we’ll go through the most conspicuous signs of a poser nerd. This list is meant to champion those who actually had an interest in what’s now marginalized.

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