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• Top 10 Worst Types of Football Fans

  

  Written by Zeromage 13 Comments
  Last Updated:: March 7, 2010

  Football fans can be an odd bunch. They can be your favorite people in the world or they can be people you can get into actual blows with, depending on which team they like, and how they like them. There are fans of teams you don’t like but nonetheless respect because you can talk football with them objectively, and then there are other morons who feel the need to shove their team down your face even if they didn’t make the playoffs, and will talk about how good their team will be next year. There’s also the fickle football fans who don’t really like football but pretend to because it’s America’s new past time. It’s time to take down the wrong football fans with this 80 yard completion of an article.

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• Top 10 Two Player Games

  

  Written by Zeromage 56 Comments
  Last Updated:: February 25, 2010

  Why play a 1 player game when you can play a 2 player game? Unfortunately, most of the best 2 player games are battle modes. Still, there is much fun to be had by beating up on a friend in a game when you’re not allowed to physically beat them up anymore in this day and age. This is not to say that there weren’t some amazing 2 player co-op games, but for better or worse, these games don’t strongly stand out when thinking about the best 2 player games. The ones that did stand out are certainly on this list for that reason. The main thrust of this article will be engaging the best battle mode 2 player games where controllers are smashed and friends TV’s are broken. These are the games that you devote your life to in order to beat your friend and claim your rightful place as the grand master of video game skill.

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• Ten Ways to Tell You’re Bohemian

  

  Written by Zeromage 14 Comments
  Last Updated:: February 20, 2010

  God help you if you’re on this list and you’re officially nominated as Bohemian. It’s time to take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and to change your ways. You’re probably young, incredibly immature, and come from a lot of money that you pretend not to have. “Slumming it” in some city where you go to college, you are everyone everywhere at all times in your own mind…you are nothing. Without expatiating any further than what was just said, just do whatever you can to avoid these next obstacles in your life that could forever make you into a complete idiot.

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• Top 10 Worst Things People Say

  

  Written by Zeromage 28 Comments
  Last Updated:: February 9, 2010

  You come across people all the time. Most of the time it’s never a good thing. There are various reasons why this is the case, but one of the most prominent reasons is what comes out of peoples’ mouths. Those irritating platitudes that make you think to yourself “It’s not that I don’t like the world, I just really dislike it’s people”. In this list, we will go through these modern aphorisms that people think they can just say without any sense of self-consciousness or feeling like a complete idiot for saying them. These soft aphorisms need to be put in the grave and here at OW, we feel this has always been our mission; putting crappy things in their place.

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• Top 30 Wrestlers of All Time

  

  Written by Zeromage 41 Comments
  Last Updated:: January 16, 2010

  Who are the greatest wrestlers of all time in WWF history? A just as important question is why does Old-Wizard even care? What, has Old-Wizard become Old-Wrestler now? Our love for Retro extends past video games, it even extends to wrestling! In this list, we will place who we think are the top 10 wrestlers of all time. This isn’t just some arbitrary list. This is a list created with passion for the pseudo-sport of professional staged-wrestling. We spent the past weeks getting ripped watching old Royal Rumbles and Summer Slams arguing who was more perfect, Mr. Perfect himself, or the Undertaker? We compared stats as if the stats actually meant something; like how long a Royal Rumble participant lasted, and how many times The Intercontinental Belt was won by a certain wrestler. Finally we came down to a list that was partially based on stats and partially based on fame. Here then is Old-Wrestler’s (sorry, I meant Old-Wizard’s) top 30 wrestlers of all time.

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• Top 5 Super Mario Brothers Games

  

  Written by Zeromage 46 Comments
  Last Updated:: December 2, 2009

  As everyone knows, Mario is Nintendo’s flagship franchise. This was the first game we at OW remember playing, and we were instantly addicted. Thus, for those who love to hate OW you can blame Mario because he is the reason we became the Sega hating, sarcastic, awesome, funny, handsome, great, …. anyway I digress. Though I can go on and on about how awesome this website is, we even made it to number one on this list we wrote about the best nerd websites. We didn’t ask for that recognition but it was welcome none-the-less. Anyway, back to Mario. The Mario Brothers franchise is constantly changing, unlike some franchises, which just have you running around in circles over and over again. I won’t say which game I’m referring to but it involves robots and animals, its basically a copy of Mario and it is very boring, not worth mentioning really. Mario on the other hand came out with something new and different each time, and each the game was a complete hit. I almost cried when I got Super Mario 3 for my birthday, that bright yellow package with Mario flying out of the package in his raccoon suit. Then there was Super Mario World which, at the time was even more awesome than Super Mario 3. This franchise is easily the most recognized face in the video game industry, and here are the top 5 Mario games.

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• Top 10 WWF Matches of All Time

  

  Written by Zeromage 11 Comments
  Last Updated:: November 12, 2009

  Continuing with the retro wrestling theme, we move on to the Top 10 WWF matches of all time. Some matches in WWF history actually stand as being great wrestling matches. When you put 2 wrestlers in the ring who actually know how to wrestle and who have endurance you can actually see some good fake wrestling and judge it for it’s worth beyond entertainment. Of course there are the matches though where the entertainment factor trumps adroit wrestling skills. Both are featured in this list. Some purely entertainment matches were of massive significance to the WWF regardless of the skill involved. But the best skill matches had to be mentioned also. So here is the adumbration of the Top 10 WWF matches of all time.
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• Top 10 WWF Finishing Moves

  

  Written by Zeromage 22 Comments
  Last Updated:: November 5, 2009

  The Finishing move. The move to end the match most of the time (unless you were fighting either The Undertaker, Hogan, or The Ultimate Warrior). The finishing move defined the wrestler and the motley fans of the WWF. When you saw Hogan finish off his opponent with his apocryphal Leg Drop, you were jumping up and down out of your seat knowing that Hogan would retain the belt. When your favorite wrestler was in the sharpshooter, you were begging that he was near the ropes. Whatever finishing move it was, it accentuated the staged-wrestling format to new heights. It’s what everybody expected; it was the pay off. Is this the definitive Top 10 Finishing moves list on the internet? We think so.

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• Top 10 Guitarists of All Time

  

  Written by Zeromage 122 Comments
  Last Updated:: September 9, 2009

  Old-Wizard’s Top 10 Guitarists of all time will not be your traditional Top  Ten  Guitarists of all time list. There won’t be obvious choices on here. Just because a guitarist can wank to no end doesn’t mean anything to us here at Old-Wizard. We could go into a guitar shop, turn on a Marshall Stack, plug in any guitar, and sound like we’re good wankers. So fuck the Stevie Ray Vaughn’s and Eric Clapton’s with their boring ass blues wanking. This list isn’t for the old farts whose conception of good guitar playing is limited to the most banal modes of style. This list of the more adventurous at heart who don’t hear just plain technical musicianship, but aesthetically pleasing sounding styles and innovative work that influenced guitarist past their own records. Certainly there was a history of guitar after the Blues. This list’s focus is on those great guitarists who did something else with the guitar.

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• Top 10 Overrated Songwriters

  

  Written by Zeromage 92 Comments
  Last Updated:: September 3, 2009

  Overrated Songwriters are a dime a dozen. Usually these songwriters are in a band that’s considered good (which means publicly covered in any way shape or form). These bands usually suck too because of the poor songwriter. Regardless, along with the band appearing as quality comes the harangues on why the songwriter is brilliant. The reasons for songwriting greatness is scarce when defined by anyone who goes off on these tangents. Relying on expressible gestures, these “music enthusiastic” appear more as monkeys than a more appropriate stoic gesture that conveys a tacit understanding of quality. These next songwriters are marks of men (and one female) who often arouse these identity masturbations. These songwriters are all generally considered as great songwriters, but a closer look at these songwriters will hopefully relegate the “music enthusiasts” gestures to the scrap heap.

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