• Ask Old-Wizard: Star Trek Edition

  

  Written by Zeromage 17 Comments
  Last Updated:: May 8, 2009

  With the new Star Trek movie coming out today we decided to gather up all the Star Trek related questions that we’ve received for the past year that we’ve been running “Ask Old-Wizard” and answer them all at once. What we realized as we were answering them was just how nerdy our fan base really is. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Hope you enjoy!

  Karl asks, I have noticed on scenes from the original series that on the bottom of the saucer section of the “Enterprise” there are two triangle shape images on either side of the bottom. My blue prints do not mention anything on this, do you have any ideals?

  Really!?!? Let me check my blue prints… no mine shows two triangles on either side of the bottom. It would seem to me either you don’t know how to read blueprints or someone fell for the ‘fake enterprise blueprint routine’. Sorry it happens to the best of us.

  Jerry asks, How much does commander Data weigh?

  I wouldn’t imagine that much. I mean circuit boards don’t weigh that much, and then there’s plastic.

  Arthur asks, I do not understand how you figure out the star date. Is this concept real? Does anyone use this method to calculate the date? and if so, what is the conversion? How do you come up with the star date? and what is the star date today? Thanks.

  The simplest method of calculating the star date is as follows. Take the current date, and count the number of stars visible in the sky from the hours of 10PM to 4:15AM. Now subtract the total number of spaceships and or space stations in orbit around your planet. If that number is less than one you’ll have to add the number of full moons from that day to the day after your birthday and subtract the total number of Sunspots that were present during the last three vernal equinoxes. Now, if the number is greater than one, the problem becomes much more difficult as you will need the first and second fundamental laws of calculus and a sturdy abacus…. Of course the star date is isn’t real.

  Miller asks, Why is captain Pickard bald? Shouldn’t they have discovered the cure for baldness by then?

  Picard is a warrior in the truest of senses. He keeps his baldness to make himself more efficient in battle. And he is played by an actor from the current century where baldness hasn’t been cured, so yeah there’s that….

  

  Shawn asks, How do I know that you’re not a Romulan?

  Romulans are a fake species from a fictional television series.

  Pete asks, For future Trek: Do you expect SF to accept their first (shown) full-blooded Romulan? Would you like to see it or are the Rommies sacred ground for evil in ST universe?

  The Rommies? Really, Rommies? You just said Rommies. The truth is that we here at OW are actually fans of Star Trek, but of course, as with Star Wars and, most recently, LOTR, nerds ruin everything. To be honest, I don’t know what sacred ground in the ‘ST’ universe is. I know ‘ST’ is a fairly well written science fiction show that I enjoy watching, but the fans are the worst. I can’t believe you would say Rommie. God, that’s so lame. You’re lame.

  Ryan asks, Would you date a Ferengi?

  No.

  

  Adam asks, Space is a bit dull. So why does the Starship Enterprise have windows?

  Yeah who would want to go to space and see stuff. You’re right.

  Zack asks, Do the Borg have sex?

  Nope.

  Paul asks, How does it feel to be assimilated?

  Like being a teenager. You don’t know who you are anymore, generally just follow the crowd, listen to the voices in your head, try to make everyone else be like you, and criticize those who don’t follow you and yours.

  Matt asks, Were the changelings always shapeshifters or did they evolve from solids????

  They evolved, duh.. that was in episode 1234ABCD of the 6th season of DS9. Everyone knows that episode. You must not be a real Trekkie, as a real Trekkie would know that. I hate the fans of most things I like. Trekkies are almost as had as Dave Mathews fans. I like the band but hate the fans same with Star Wars. I wonder who’s worse at ruining things Star Wars fans or Star Trek fans.

  Dave asks, I took a Star Trek personality test today and I am apparantly akin to Quark the Ferengi. Which Star Trek character you think you are most like?

  We would be awesome. That’s not technically a character in Star Trek but we would most like to be awesome.

  Chris asks, Why do aliens from across the galaxy speak perfect English?

  Universal translators, plus English is pretty common.

  Kevin asks, Yesterday, I came across a glitch on my second season DVDs of DS9 (I own the North American set), and I was wondering if it’s just a bad disc or if anybody else has that problem. When I watched the episode “Crossover”, during the teaser, specifically during the first shot of Mirror Terok Nor in orbit of Bajor, both picture and sound freeze for a second. I could reproduce the glitch on both my standalone DVD player and my computer. The disc doesn’t have any visible damage or dirt. Any help in the matter would be greatly appreciated.

  Yes this is a common problem for the North American set it, however the south American sets are perfect. The only difference being the South American set is in Spanish.

  Related Posts: Ask Old-Wizard: Star Wars, Ask Old-Wizard: Lord of the Rings

17 Comments

1. #1 Linklock says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 9:37 pm

   People really want to know why Captain Pickard is bald? Maybe there is a cure but he just prefers being bald?
2. #2 Lorenzo says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 10:43 am

   Hi,

   Today the particle accelerator in Geneva has been fired up, some scientist think this experiment might create a black hole (alias a small amount of neutron matter=neutron star=black hole) do you think we are looking at a power source similar to the romulan one? spoken of in the episode of TNG “Time Squared”

   just curious about your opinion, i hope it will bring us closer to dilithium crystal fusion
3. #3 Rutvergas says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 2:02 pm

   I want to meet the people who wonder about this stuff
4. #4 Robert the Pedant says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 5:45 pm

   LOL!
5. #5 Chris says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 1:52 am

   This was funny:

   “Paul asks, How does it feel to be assimilated?

   Like being a teenager. You don’t know who you are anymore, generally just follow the crowd, listen to the voices in your head, try to make everyone else be like you, and criticize those who don’t follow you and yours.”
6. #6 George says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 3:25 am

   Fans suck. Even I suck as a fan. I can be such an asshole about some of my favorite things.

   So, has anyone else been fantasizing about finding green chicks in space after the large hadron collider grants us warp speed travel?
7. #7 Rob says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 4:25 am

   Funny! Keep up the good work.
8. #8 Andreas says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 12:09 am

   Rommie…

   Wow, just… wow.
9. #9 Wild Bill says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 7:47 pm

   funny stuff.
10. #10 Grabo says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 10:58 pm

    LMFAO!
11. #11 Osama says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 2:08 am

    “I wonder who’s worse at ruining things Star Wars fans or Star Trek fans.”

    Nintendo fanboys
12. #12 Otto says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 3:49 am

    LOL. Great stuff.
13. #13 Roberto says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 8:13 pm

    nice article. fans of anything usually ruin it for the rest of us. have u seen the new movie? its not bad
14. #14 Zeromage says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    @Roberto:

    I saw it, and I enjoyed it. But I thought it was dumb that Vulcan got blown up.
15. #15 Galaxy says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 3:36 pm

    LMFAO. Funny stuff.
16. #16 Galaxy says:
    November 20th, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    Where do I submit questions? I have one: “Who would win in a space battle between the Defiant and the Enterprise E?”