• Ask Old-Wizard: Physics Edition

  

  Written by Zeromage 3 Comments
  Last Updated:: September 25, 2008

  As some of you know, one of the staff members of Old-Wizard was a physics major back in his college days, and this week Old-Wizard answers some of your physics-related questions. Remember to send your questions to OldWizard.com@gmail.com.
  

  Tim asks, Do you believe in the theory of gravity?

  Absolutely not. Its just another case of scientist making up crazy theories.

  Henry asks, What would happen if I shot a gun in space?

  Depends if you have a license to carry a concealed weapon in space and whether or not you hit someone. I imagine you would end up in jail or possibly a large fee.

  Jeff asks, I just read that scientists actually came within one ten millionith of a degree from reaching Absolute Zero, back in 2000 bu have not been able to get any closer. How much would that suck to be those scientists? Sooo close, but no cigar.

  LOL. I hadn’t thought of it that way, I bet they went home and cried. Then they tried make ice cream but only got cream and then they tried to build a tree fort but only got a back porch. Ehhh… well that’s all I got. This was fun.

  James asks, Why is there light on earth from the sun, but yet in space, it is black?

  In order to see something light has to reflect off it, black is total absorption (i.e. no reflection), so when nothing reflects it looks black like space.

  Eric asks, What is the fifth dimension?

  Its the one right past the fourth but before the sixth. You can’t miss it.

  Jared asks, What is the most destructive weapon in the world, which does not use nuclear power? (Real weapons, not metaphors like “Hate”)

  I would say non-nuclear missiles, or maybe biological stuff. Things that burn, or melt you are pretty powerful. I would rather be vaporized by a nuclear weapon than die slowly from fire or some crazy disease that makes your eyes fall out. Greed is pretty powerful too.

  Liam asks, Which law of physics best describes you?

  I would say conservation of Mass. I eat a lot but don’t seem to get fat.

  Stephen asks, Are you a “Dark Matter Theory” or “Modified Newtonian Physics” kind of person? Do you create something invisible to explain the world or just change the rules?

  We here at OW are rule changers. We see the status quo and then do awesome things that force the world to change. We’re different, trend setters if you will. The cool kids that are smart, and incredibly sexy. So yeah, ladies, let us know, most of us are single.

  Shawn asks, What do you know about the theory of everything?

  Nothing.

  Nicole asks, Who knows the equasion for gravity

  I bet Newton and anyone who has taken an intro physics class.

  Dawn asks, What is the benefit of studies if we are not going to imbibe in our daily life?

  Imbibe? Is that a word? I think it means drink, are we going drink our studies? I’m not sure that’s a good idea, don’t most schools have a problem with imbibing?

  Phil asks, The Large Hadron Collider, the world’s biggest atom smasher, started up this month. Scientists predict collisions of sub-atomic particles produced by the LHC. Is anyone worried about ‘black holes?’

  Lord knows I am. As we all know scientists are the agents of Satan and this device is a gate for Satan. So forget black holes, I’m worried about Satan.

  Joe asks, What is another name for a circular particle accelerator?

  What? I don’t know. A round particle accelerator?

3 Comments

1. #1 TheGamesta says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 2:57 am

   Perhaps he/she should’ve picked up a degree in comedy or wit while they were in college too. I’m just saying.
2. #2 The Mountain says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 4:28 am

   THeory of Everything. New Age Ken WIlbur BS. Too general to mean anything
3. #3 avi says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 7:03 pm

   gravity part didn’t make me laugh but conversation of mass thing made me LOL.