Ask Old Wizard

Ask Old Wizard

Written by Sage 40 Comments
Last Updated:: June 28, 2009

This week we answer some grammatically challenged questions from Nintendo Boy about Super Mario:

Is Mario And luigi gay lovers?

No they are brothers.

Is the Mario Bros real?

Yes they are. They are two brothers who eat mushrooms and flowers, wear weird suits and capes, and save princesses from gigantic lizards. We thought that this was obvious.

How old are Mario and Luigi?

Depends. Did they go straight to trade school right out of high school? Did they apprentice right away? Maybe they decided to travel the world first, find themselves, see the aqueducts, and once they understood what it truly meant to be a plumber, then go back to school. So they could be anywhere between 18 and 40.

Why can’t Sonic be better than Mario My brother always was thinking that Sonic is better?

Your brother is obviously stupid. Sonic is not a bad game it’s just not a great game. You see, Mario Brothers is ground breaking, creative, and, at the time, completely new and different. Mario pushes the borders of gaming. Sonic, and Sega in general, are more of the status quo. Sonic was derivative, which means ‘loose copy of.’ You see, in terms of marketing it was close enough to Mario, but also just different enough to attempt compete with Mario. Sega was never capable of being truly new and innovative, they only pushed the boundary for the sake of pushing boundary, which is one of the many reasons they failed. Sonic can’t be better than Mario because Mario is better than Sonic. Do you see? It’s really quite simple.

40 Comments

#1 George says:
March 16th, 2010 at 5:50 pm

I’ll just leave before the required shitstorm gets here.

Go play a drinking game if you like, take a shot anytime someone writes one of the following:

Old Wizard Fail
Old Wizard are Fags
Epic Fail
All your fail are belong to us.
Sonic isn’t a whiny sellout, Old Wizard are cuntz.

#2 RavenWolfx says:
March 16th, 2010 at 6:17 pm

death to sonic

#3 Avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 11:06 am

All your Fail are belong to us. sonic IS better than Mario. it doesn’t matter if he hasn’t had a good game in years. which he actually has. It’s called Sonic and the Secret Rings.

#4 Darren says:
March 16th, 2010 at 1:08 pm

Having been a reader of this site for about a year now, and disagreeing with virtually everything you guys say, I still have to give this site some credit. You really don’t give a sh** what anyone says about you. You bash new games, which makes people think that you’re a retro gaming site. Then you bash half of the retro gaming audience by making fun of Sega constantly. So now people get the impression that you’re a retro nintendo fanboy site. Then you go and bash pokemon and paperboy, and other classic nintendo titles. And you also call Mario 64 and Ocarina of Time overrated (two of titles Nintendo fanboys love the most). I am at a complete loss as to what your intended audience is. And now you barely even talk about video games anymore, instead concentrating on pissing people off with your outlandish views on music. Most people who maintain a website try and at least cater to some segment of the population. But this site just doesn’t seem to care. And I guess that why I’m really starting to like it!

#5 Delta says:
March 16th, 2010 at 6:19 pm

“it doesn’t matter if he hasn’t had a good game in years. which he actually has. It’s called Sonic and the Secret Rings.”

I thought the last good SONIC game made was an RPG for the DS developed by Bioware, not Sega.

#6 Delta says:
March 16th, 2010 at 6:21 pm

So Darren, are you saying Old-Wizard is reaching out to the “pissed-off audience determined to undermine the website that doesn’t give a fuck about their audience” demographic?

#7 Avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 7:39 pm

I haven’t played a Sonic game on the DS.

#8 Delta says:
March 16th, 2010 at 9:03 pm

Neither have I, but to my knowledge, it’s the only SONIC game in years that has had good ratings on average.

#9 Avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 11:05 pm

I played Secret Rings and it was above average.

#10 Delta says:
March 16th, 2010 at 5:26 am

http://www.metacritic.com/games/platforms/ds/sonicchroniclesthedarkbrotherhood?q=Sonic%20Chronicles:%20The%20Dark%20Brotherhood

http://www.gamerankings.com/ds/941521-sonic-chronicles-the-dark-brotherhood/index.html

SONIC CHRONICLES: THE DARK BROTHER HOOD averaged 74% from professional reviews and got a 8.1 out of 10 from users on Metacritic and a 73.79 on GameRankings.

http://www.metacritic.com/games/platforms/wii/sonicwildfire?q=Sonic%20and%20the%20Secret%20Rings

http://www.gamerankings.com/wii/932811-sonic-and-the-secret-rings/index.html

SONIC AND THE SECRET RINGS got a 69% from professional reviews with a bit fewer people to hate the game, and 7.5 out of 10 from users on Metacritic and 70.40% on GameRankings.

So it looks like people generally disagree with you on SONIC AND THE SECRET RINGS is an above average game, and THE DARK BROTHERHOOD is better than SECRET RINGS. Of course DARK BROTHERHOOD has the unfair advantage of being developed by Bioware.

#11 Avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 12:16 pm

69% IS above Average. 7.5/10 IS above average. 70.40 IS above average. average is 50%, or 5/10.

#12 Delta says:
March 16th, 2010 at 2:16 pm

No, 70% is average. Most review sites and magazines give a 7 out of 10 as average, I think EGM is the only publication that doesn’t really adhere to this.

7.5 is to be expected from Sonic fans, I can’t tell you how many times a game has sucked then the Sonic fans whine about it and make bad attempts to argue that they’re wrong. And tend to fail miserably.

But DARK BROTHERHOOD’s done much better, both with the gaming media and with fans of the SONIC franchise.

#13 Avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 3:37 pm

i’m sorry, but i just can’t see 70% as ”average.” 60% maybe, but 70%

#14 Avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 3:39 pm

sorry I meant ”60% maybe, but 70% no.”

#15 Delta says:
March 16th, 2010 at 4:49 pm

Well Avi, you must not pay attention to many reviewing publications that use a 1-10 scale. On X-PLAY the middle rating is average, but they only use 1-5. GAME INFORMER for example pretty plainly state they put 7 as average. Team Xbox, IGN and Gamespot also rate 7 as average as well if you read any of their reviews.

#16 Avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 7:48 pm

Team Xbox? Game Informer? never heard of them. even if it was the general consensus, that doesn’t make it accurate. and am I supposed to change my mind because someone I don’t know is telling me to like a game I’ve never played? of course I don’t pay attention to IGN and Gamespot.

#17 Delta says:
March 16th, 2010 at 9:07 pm

Team Xbox is owned by IGN, GAME INFORMER is the most circulated video game magazine in North America and actually breaks the I think 50 most circulated magazines period.

And it doesn’t matter if you haven’t heard of them or don’t pay attention to them, Team Xbox, IGN, Gamespot and GAME INFORMER all go by 7 out of 10 being an average score. It’s like a school grade, 70% is a C and 69% and lower is below average at best.

And it doesn’t matter what you think of SONIC AND THE SECRET RINGS, but you’re wrong that 70% is an above average rating. 75% would be a bit above, 80% is where it’s out-right good.

#18 Delta says:
March 16th, 2010 at 9:12 pm

Basically, you can have your opinion that SONIC AND THE SECRET RINGS is an above average game, but you can’t use it getting a 69% average from Metacritic as proof for your argument, as you’re incorrect that 69% is an above average score and that 50% is average.

Like I said before, generally 70% is the average score with few not following this almost universal unwritten rule. 50% on a school test would be a failing grade and most publications and commercial review sites agree on this style of rating.

Game Rankings does give it slightly to moderately above average, but they also have fewer reviews they averaged the scores from. Metacritic tends to be the one people use when wanting to know the average review score of a game.

#19 Avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 9:27 pm

ok, i’ll agree that 80% is outright good. also- i won’t respond to that comment about school grades, since we’re talking about video games. I don’t know where I’d rate Secret Rings on a 1-10 scale. also, didn’t you say YOU thought it was the last good Sonic game? did you say MOST REVIEWERS thought it was the last good Sonic game? if you say you thought a game was good, you shouldn’t admit you’ve never played it! and why do you keep capitalizing sonnic game titles?

#20 Avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 9:28 pm

WHEN DID I USE REVIEW SCORES AS MY ARGUMENT?

#21 Delta says:
March 16th, 2010 at 11:04 pm

Avi…..

The school grade thing was to explain that most professional review sites and magazines use the same type of grading scale when they rate games. The majority use 7 as their designated average, much like 70% is a C on a test. So, in terms of the grading curve, generally a review is rated the same way your grade on a test would be when they do a 1-10 scale.

I stated it was SONIC CHRONICLES: THE DARK BROTHERHOOD that was the last good sonic game, according to reviewers and SONIC AND THE SECRET RINGS was average at best. I’m simply going by what the reviews say, and considering how the controls for a Sonic game tend to be on the Revolution(I absolutely despise the name “Wii” and it got a woman killed in my city), I don’t see how the review can be wrong.

I keep capitalizing the names since I tend to capitalize the title of a game, comic, movie, ect.

And as to your using the reviews as arguments, I showed the Metacritic and Game Ranking averages for those games, and you stated, “69% IS above Average. 7.5/10 IS above average. 70.40 IS above average. average is 50%, or 5/10.”

#22 LEGONESFISH says:
March 16th, 2010 at 7:56 am

Sonic hasn’t had one good game since the mega drive

#23 Delta says:
March 16th, 2010 at 1:48 pm

According to the average review score for Sonic’s DS RPG, that’s proven false. You mean Platformer, you’re probably right.

#24 Avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 9:03 pm

yeah, I said the score was above average but I didn’t intend to use that as my argument, if you mean platformer, then while the general consensus would not say secret rings was the last, but if you’re going by the general consensus it would be since the dreamcast.

#25 Delta says:
March 16th, 2010 at 9:34 pm

But Avi, you think that a 5 is an average score, when it’s really when a game starts to get bad. 7 is average, below 7 is below average.

So the general averaged scores of the games you said were above average do not support your claims they’re above average, since they’re not graded with a 5 being an average score.

#26 Avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 10:19 pm

I will admit I was wrong about what was above average. anyways, I just played dark brotherhood and it was better than secret rings.

#27 Delta says:
March 16th, 2010 at 10:29 pm

It’s your opinion whether you think it’s above average or not, but the average score it’s self amongst reviewers is not above average.

Basically pointing-out 7 is the designated average of most reviewers.

#28 Avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 11:46 pm

and you are right.

#29 Delta says:
March 16th, 2010 at 12:19 am

There are some magazines and websites that don’t use 7 as the designated average, but they’re few and far between. Only one I know of is EGM/1-Up.

There’s probably more, but I don’t know of them.

#30 Avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 11:07 am

would geesis add-ons count as ”post-megadrive?” because they had some good sonic games as well.

#31 Avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 11:08 am

”would GENESIS add-ons count”

#32 Delta says:
March 16th, 2010 at 11:59 am

They were made to enhance the life of the Genesis, and boost it’s technological capability. I don’t think I’d include it as post-Genesis.

#33 Geoff says:
March 16th, 2010 at 6:59 pm

What a shitty fucking waste of time, you fucking cunt-bearded old ass hat.

#34 avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 12:20 am

they are often regarded as their own consoles, but, you’re right, they were made to enhance the life of the genesis.

#35 Delta says:
March 16th, 2010 at 12:23 am

It was sorta kinda like putting a faster processor or more powerful graphics card onto your PC or adding more RAM.

Makes it more powerful than the original core, but not an entirely new system.

#36 avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 12:31 am

true.

#37 Avi says:
March 16th, 2010 at 11:10 am

”what it truly meant to be a plumber” HEHEHEHE…

#38 Wolf says:
March 16th, 2010 at 9:34 am

sonic is a great game and the old ones when they were made were high above the status quo and were pretty innovative to be able to have such fast paced action im not gonna argue that sonics better than mario though the old sonic games where great games but mario was… epic

#39 Logan says:
March 16th, 2010 at 11:35 pm

Ugh, Sega was plenty fucking innovative. They pioneered online gaming for consoles and motion controls as well as contributed the first major advancement of voice-recognition technology in a video game. And even though it wasn’t the first RPG ever developed for a home console, Sega were the first ones to take the chance and market an RPG, Phantasy Star, to the Western audience. Also, the Sega Channel was video gaming’s first foray into digital distribution. Not to mention they created the world’s first 3D fighting and racing games with Virtua Fighter and Virtua Racing and the first on-rails shooter with Space Harrier. Saying Sega wasn’t innovative is just ignorance – they were enormously innovative. Nintendo fanboys like you just seem to want to write them off in history as being negligible out of blind consumerist ignorance instead of any actual attempt to give credit where it’s due. Besides, Sega HAD to use familiar gameplay concepts to get their foot into the console market back in 1991… they had like, 10% market share. You think they could’ve done that with a shoot-em-up, beat-em-up, RPG, sports sim, or some entirely new genre? Of course not! Back then you HAD to market platformers because that’s what the general market was used to because of the success of Super Mario Bros. Sega didn’t have any other option besides making a platformer, and Sonic the Hedgehog contributed a TON to video gaming on a technical level with its blazingly fast and tight gameplay and groundbreaking physics, not to mention the fleshed out stories and absolutely STELLAR soundtracks and character designs. Jeez, you think YOU could have made a game to combat the massive, greedy Nintendo Corporation back in 1991? Don’t blame Sega for having to work within a box to make a big hit, blame Capitalism! Sega innovated PLENTY, it’s just that their early innovations were primarily in the arcade and they had to get their bearings when transitioning over to the home console market, but man, they fucking did it. By the Dreamcast-era to the end of their tenure (2004, when Sammy bought out the company and basically destroyed it), they were the most creative force in the industry, and there’s no denying it. BEAST MODE.

#40 Alberto says:
March 16th, 2010 at 2:33 pm

Is this about MARIO VS SONIC?

OR NINTENDO VS SEGA?

Is is Mario vs Sonic as in who will win a fight?
or as in who has better games? or as in who is a better character?

Fight goes to Sonic
Better games goes to Mario
Better characters THIS IS A TRICKY ONE I’ll say Mario, the characters are wakky and the creator was one a heavy mushroom trip when he put this world together, come on Evil Musrooms? Pink Pricess? Turtles with wings? that you can defeat by reaching the stars? Overgrown Evil Turtle? Defeates by a Fat Italian Plummer and his Skinny looking brother?
Mario wins.

Nintendo VS Sega
Well that one pretty much got answered when Sega died

Innovation Nintendo vs Sega?
Close but Sega wins

Marketting Nintendo vs Sega?
Nintendo

Evil Corporation Nintendo vs Sega?
Nintendo

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