• Ask Old-Wizard: UFO Edition

  

  Written by Zeromage 4 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 21, 2008

  Its been a while since we’ve released a new edition of “Ask Old-Wizard”, but hopefully it was worth the wait. This week we answer some of your UFO-related questions. Remember to send your questions to OldWizard.com@gmail.com.

  Bob asks, WHY don’t the aliens, if they are real, just land on the White House lawn and say “Take me to your leader.”?

  The white house lawn is really small and has a number of trees on it. I would imagine that even an experienced pilot would have difficulty finding a proper place to put ‘er down. Now I know what you’re saying, “a helicopter lands there all the time”. Well you’re right. So I guess I don’t know.

  Doug asks, Why in the world would aliens want to come here? Wouldn’t you say that we are nothing more than a primitive society whose major activity is clearly tribal warfare?

  Why did Europeans want to go to Africa and the Americas? Resources my friend, resources and money. If history is has taught us anything, its that its never good when a highly advanced society meets a much less advanced one. I imagine we would make great slaves or possibly food. I also imagine that all of our minerals and resources would plundered and the Earth destroyed.

  Bill asks, Did God create life on other planets? Otherwise why is the universe so big?

  How do you know the universe is so big? Maybe Earth is the only planet and the stars revolve around us. I imagine if God is all powerful he could make it look like the universe is really big but its actually isn’t.

  Bill asks, Did Ezekial see a UFO?

  I’m very sorry but I was raised by hippies and have rarely ever set foot in a church. I assume Ezekiel is a character in the Bible and am aware of the basic plot of the book, but details of it have never interested me. Somebody begot somebody and so on… So I can’t tell you what Ezekiel saw. For all I know he was blind and enjoyed disco.

  Bill asks, Was Noah a Martian?

  Ahhh the boat guy. I would say “no”, but then again I’m just guessing. I had a 50/50 shot at it so I went for it…. Do I regret it? No.

  Jerry asks, Is global warming part of an ‘alien agenda’?

  I see what your saying, are they trying to make us sweat it out? Hmmmm interesting theory, but why…. Maybe they need a nice warn vacation spot, lots of beaches, less humans, remote. That could work. Throw up a few condos a couple themed bars and you got yourself a good ole’ fashioned resort. So yes for these reasons and these reasons alone I feel that global warming is part of an ‘alien agenda.’ But only for these reasons.

  Adam asks, Should we search for extraterrestrial intelligence?

  Nah, I say lets let them find us. If they are so smart with their ships and what not, why should we do all the work?

  Sara asks, Is the government covering up the existence of ETs?

  No I saw the movie, but I didn’t think it was as great as everyone else did.

  

4 Comments

1. #1 Weekday Warrior says:
   March 19th, 2010 at 5:06 pm

   I dont think the ET’s of the universe care much about us…so I agree – let them come to us if they have something to say!
2. #2 Bunny says:
   March 19th, 2010 at 7:03 pm

   When one is abducted, does the anal probe cost more, or is it part of the basic service?
3. #3 Alex says:
   March 19th, 2010 at 1:58 pm

   LOL. I was wondering what happened to “ask old wizard”!
4. #4 TheMountain says:
   March 19th, 2010 at 2:41 pm

   Ha. Gotta bring back Ask-oldWizard