• Ask Old-Wizard: August 15th, 2008

  

  Written by Zeromage 4 Comments
  Last Updated:: August 15, 2008

  Ask Old-Wizard is back this week answering some of our fans’ older questions (Some of these questions have been sitting in our inbox since the first week the site went up). Feel free to send any question about any topic you can think of to oldwizard.com@gmail.com.

  Doug asks, Can zombies be hurt by holy water?

  Absolutely not. That would be to say only Catholics have this means of defense against zombies. If Daniel Day Lewis was a zombie, he would drink your holy water. You kill a zombie by removing or destroying the brain, if you want to try something other than this proven method, be my guest. If I ever find my self in a zombie fight, I’m coming correct with a chain saw and a mallet.

  Aaron asks, Who would win in a fight between Spiderman and Darth Vader?

  Spider-man is no match for the Force, this debate is ridiculous. What, are you going to web a light saber? Come on.

  Bill asks, On super mario gaxlxy is it possable to finish the game because bowser is hard?

  Yup its actually impossible. So its probably best to not even try, in fact why even buy it when the game is obviously stacked against you. And when you think about it what’s the point of getting out of bed in the morning. You can’t beat the world since the boss is so hard sooo… why not just end it all really what’s the point of setting goals of any-kind and then completing them. I would just stop finishing anything.

  Tom asks, Which graphing calculator is better, the TI-89, or TI-91?

  There was a time when I would give you a great well informed answer on this, sadly that time has long since passed. Instead I’m going to call you a nerd and give you no useful information at all.

  

  Cayman asks, What’s George W. Bush’s most amazing achievement to date?

  I see what you’re doing, you want us to make fun of dubbya. Yeah that would be original and it totally hasn’t been done before either. I mean nobody has ever made jokes about the current president, so if we do it it would be awesome, and because you helped you would get credit too right? Then we would be best friends and you would actually have a friend. Yeah this is great I love doing something new and its all the more rewarding when its with a new person, no not just a new person a new friend. God this has been great.

  Dan asks, What valuable lesson(s) can be learned from George Walker Bush’s entire presidency?

  Please read the above statement.

  Travis asks, What did you love about Super Mario, back in the day?

  Everything, what’s not to love really its the best game ever. They are all the best game equally. I love everything about them.

  Kate asks, Why do you guys hate the paperboy so much?

  Who likes the paperboy is a better question. I could imagine the meeting where they came up with that game, ” Hey Jim whatcha got… (P.S. Jim is the made up believe game developer I just made up, also in my head he partied pretty hard last night and is really hungover, he keeps putting his head on the desk because its cold and make his raging headache feel better, this is called cold desking for those who didn’t know) Jim lifts his throbbing head and says: ” I don’t know paperboy, you deliver papers and dodge cars or something”

  Karl asks, Who is Super Mario’s dad?

  Mario is a made up video game character.

  Nick asks, Is there a good place to meet women online?

  Yes tons. Think about it, women love to meet guys online. They aren’t at bars or clubs or coffee shops or restaurants or anything like that. All the hot girls i know love to play video games and stuff like that. So keep looking my friend.

  Sarah asks, Why are there so many shows, showing men how to pick up women but they never have shows showing women how to get the guy?

  What!?!?! What shows are you talking about? I don’t think I’ve seen any shows teaching men how to pick up girls. Besides the fact that women don’t have to do anything to get the guy. They just have to be girls. Unless they are fat, then they should loose weight.

4 Comments

1. #1 George says:
   March 17th, 2010 at 7:10 pm

   You guys kick ass. Keep on posting. But why do you guys think Episode I is worse than II. II was worse; because Christiansian and Portman can’t act, the expectations were even lower, but they still were not met, the battle scenes were worse, their was even more stupid lines, and Darth Maul and Qui Gon Jin were not in the movie. I know the first one killed your hopes and dreams, and fans still screamed for more even though they didn’t like it. But if both were to be looked upon by a neutral eye, II would be the worst film. Try looking again neutrally, forget that those films killed all your hopes and dreams, and then judge. But you guys are still awesome.
2. #2 Phil says:
   March 17th, 2010 at 9:26 pm

   This is funniest thing you guys have ever done. Nice work on this one.
3. #3 James Upton says:
   March 17th, 2010 at 12:37 am

   Pure genius keep it coming gentlemen!
4. #4 Avi says:
   March 17th, 2010 at 4:25 pm

   my friend beat Super Mario Galaxy.