Loading ...-
Ask Old-Wizard: Star Wars Edition
Next week we will be releasing our Top 20 Star Wars Characters List, and with that in mind, I decided to answer only Star Wars related questions this week. I’ve received quite a few since we released our Top 5 Worst Star Wars Characters List a while back, and I’m sure I’ll be answering more in the future, so keep sending them.
Nick asks, Why do people think Star Wars is nerdy?
I know right. Space, science, laser swords, guys in weird costumes what’s weird about that?
Jeff asks, In both The Phantom Menace and A New Hope, Jawas can be heard exclaiming, “Utinni!” What does this mean? Is it a word or just an exclamation?
This is the problem with you Star Wars geeks, you have to know everything, without realizing that its the mystery that makes the movies so good. Stop being Lucas and making good things suck.
James asks, What did Vader’s interrogation droid do to Princess Leia?
They played three games of tic tac toe to see if she had to release information on the secret rebel base.
John asks, While watching Return Of The Jedi for the 1000th time (I know it’s not a record), it finally dawned on me that when Obi-Wan’s spirit comes from the woods on Dagobah to talk to Luke, he walks a few steps and then sits down! Does a Jedi apparition really need to take a rest, or was I right in just ignoring it the first 999 times?
Well if you walked from the Death Star to Dagobah you would be tired too.
Brian asks, Will there be anymore star wars movies?
No. Lucas is over the hill. His new movies all have poor character development
Darth Hobbit asks, Where is the Star Wars Galaxy?
New Zealand
Chris asks, What was the worst Star Wars movie?
Episode 1
Tom asks, What’s your favorite Star Wars video game?
The old Star Wars arcade game. Man..that thing still gets a quarter (at least) from me anytime I see it anywhere.
Art asks, Who’s your favorite Star Wars character?
Lando. Best hair, best cape, only pimp in the Star Wars series
Alex asks, Here is something that I’ve always thought was a little strange. When Obi-Wan takes Luke to Mos Eisley, why does he tell Luke everything about the place? If Luke has grown up on Tatoonie, it seems like he would know something about it or would have been in a cantina before.
If its one thing I love its a well thought out question. This question just happens to be one of those. In order to better understand it lets put this oddity into a better perspective. We live on the planet Earth, which by all measure is fairly large, and has many places. Very surprisingly when I was the young age that Luke Skywalker was when he got tossed into a galactic war between good and evil I hadn’t been to a bar before. Weird right? It would therefore be safe to assume a description of one may be helpful the first time I went. Also I haven’t even been to every city in the state I’m from, let alone the entire planet. Similar logic dictates that a description would also be helpful when entering a new area, especially a bad area, and even more especially when you are trying to blend in. A little knowledge of how things work might go along way. To put it more bluntly I live on Earth but have never been to a bar in China, weird right? Luke’s case is even more extreme; he is a poor farmer boy, they didn’t have the internet, and my guess is Mos Eisley was a bit of trip. So by my figuring he would most likely not have been in a cantina before, and probably knew little if anything about the day-to-day in a spaceport. Hence Obi-Wan filling the lad in on the lay of the land.
Z Dawg asks, What does the acronym R2-D2 stand for?
Ron Twodaletwo
Steve asks, Is R2-D2 real?
I’ve decided not to answer this question. It’s obviously utterly stupid. Instead I’m going to use this space to prove that Star Wars fan-boys are responsible for ruining Star Wars. The reason being is that they, for unknown reasons, must suck the mystery out of every single minute detail of the movies. They have to know the name and personal background of every character. “Oh that dead guy there (who’s only in the movie for 1/8th of 1 second) is blah blah, he’s from the fuck face planet, has two wives and eighteen children.” Shut the fuck up. Star Wars was great because of the mystery, the intrigue, and all that was unknown. Another prime example is Boba Fett, he was awesome as an unknown bad ass bounty hunter and everyone loved him for that reason. Now he sucks. He’s a clone or something and his dad got killed. Now he’s a pussy with daddy issues. The mystery of who or what he was, was way better than the now reality. J.R.R. Tolkien once said that the reason Lord of the Rings was so popular was that there was always a tower in the distance that you could see, but you never get to go to. The potential for a story or peril or something unknown is what drew that average reader into his world. The same can be said for the original Star Wars movies. Maybe its Lucas’s fault for caving into the pressures of the hordes of idiotic Star Wars fans, maybe he saw masses of money and decided to forgo his beautiful creation for some pop culture piece of crap that goes to every tower and leaves no stone unturned. Those are, of course, metaphors. I like the mystery of Darth Vader more than the heart sick fuck up. Lets face it, Darth Vader fell to the most common of all human problems: women. He fell in love with a girl and became so obsessed it drove him mad. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! The most evil guy ever is evil because of a girl! Nobody knew what we had with the original movies until they were destroyed by the prequels. I hope your happy that you now know more about the Star wars universe at the expense of the mystery, which is what made them great. Jerks.
8 Comments
Leave a Comment
- ShadowHunter on Ten Ways to Tell You’re Not as Smart as You Think You Are
- Frank the Tank on Ten Ways to Tell You’re Not as Smart as You Think You Are
- ALBERTO on Ten Ways to Tell You’re Not as Smart as You Think You Are
- President Steve on Ten Ways to Tell You’re Not as Smart as You Think You Are
- bob on Ten Ways to Tell You’re Not as Smart as You Think You Are
- bob on Ten Ways to Tell You’re Not as Smart as You Think You Are
- Alberto on Ten Ways to Tell You’re Not as Smart as You Think You Are
- Alberto on Ten Ways to Tell You’re Not as Smart as You Think You Are
- David Macphail on Ten Ways to Tell You’re Not as Smart as You Think You Are
- Furyof5 on Ten Ways to Tell You’re Not as Smart as You Think You Are
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- December 2007
- November 2007
- October 2007
- September 2007
- August 2007
- April 2007
- March 2007
- January 2007
- 8 Bit City
- 8 Bit Rocket
- Cathode Tan
- Computers Avenue
- Donkey Gamer
- Female Gamer
- Flash of Steel
- Flying Omelette
- Game By Night
- Game Drone
- Game Guy Thinks
- Game Hub News
- Game Lemon
- Game Usagi
- Girls Don’t Game
- Gnome’s Lair
- Greg Stones
- Mario Monsters
- On Nintendo
- Once Upon a Geek
- Only The Games
- Press the Buttons
- Resigned Gamer
- Retro Treasures
- The Absinthe Review Network
- The Artful Gamer
- The Average Gamer
- The Blogging Gamers
- The Gamer's Journal
- The Postmodern Conservative
- The Pulperizer
- Towards Mecca
- Video Game Geek
March 18th, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Actually, while American Graffiti was under production, a sound editor asked for Reel 2, Dialog Track 2, but used R2-D2 as an abbreviation. That’s where R2-D2 came from.
A lot of the questions you asked in “Top Five Worst Star Wars Characters” were answered in books or the Clone Wars series. I know, that’s exactly the problem – why should you have to read it to find that out?
Meh. Not Psychic man. Suppose it does add a little mystery if you don’t read them – your choice.
Me? Eh, I’ve read a few Star Wars book here and there to pass the time. Safe to say I’m a fan, but not a fanatic.
Looking forward to the list.
See you next time.
March 18th, 2010 at 2:05 pm
I beg to differ about the reason for Anakin’s turn to the dark side. It was power he wanted. He was tired of being a sidenote and wanted recognition. True, falling in love increased his ambition but ultimately his desire for power destroyed his connection to Padme.
Admittedly, I could be all wrong. I watched episodes I – III a total of one time each.
March 18th, 2010 at 9:16 pm
Look, this is silly, we all know Attack of the Clones was worse. Hayden, when your outacted by Natalie Portman, Jar Jar Binks, and a fucking nine year old, you dont deserve to be in this buisness. Why is it no one thinks Clones was worse than Phantom Menace. I know Menace came first and quickly killed all of your expectations, but Phantom Menace had talented leads (Ewan McGregor, Liam Neeson, Frank Oz), kick ass enemies, a battleship war, and podracing. I dare anyone who read this to name any advantage Clones had over Menace.
March 18th, 2010 at 10:36 pm
So Lando is a pimp? That’s pretty offensive considering that he’s the only black character…
March 18th, 2010 at 10:06 pm
I think it’s awesome it took that dude 1,000 views to notice that a character sits down. Wow. what a revelation.
March 18th, 2010 at 7:32 am
Hello – in the late 90’s I was privy to an animation version of a battle between two Sith lords in which they both killed each other. The emperor was so furious he sent lighting bolts into their dead bodies. Does anyone remember this animation and if so do you have a link. It was perhaps one of the best light saber battles I have ever seen, wished some how it could have made it’s way onto the big screen.