• Ask Old-Wizard: April 30th, 2008

  

  Written by Zeromage 2 Comments
  Last Updated:: April 30, 2008

  In this week’s edition of “Ask Old-Wizard” I answer a couple of questions from an outraged Sega fan (one of many), who was a little upset about our “Top 5 Worst Video Game Consoles of All Time” and several other random questions from some of our regular readers. Sorry I couldn’t answer all your questions this week, but I’m receiving so many every day, and I only have a limited amount of time to answer them. But I promise I’ll get to everyone’s eventually so keep sending them in and keep reading!

  Tyrone asks: What new games are you looking forward to in the near future?

  With the downward turn in the economy Old-Wizard.com predicts that soon the gladiator games will return. And not those crappy fags that dress up on TV. I’m talking about swords and lions and emperors. I’m looking forward to that.
  
  The Last Samurai asks: Can a Paladin be Chaotic Evil?

  I don’t know. You’re a loser.

  PhoenixPhiRE asks: Who would win in a fight between Spiderman and Darth Vader?

  You’re a moron.

  Nano “the Forgotten” asks: Why is it when you cook pasta wearing a white shirt you always get sauce on it?

  Why do you wear white while cooking pasta? You’re a moron too.

  In response to our “Top 5 Worst Gaming Consoles” article, Ninjamonkey asks: Why do you guys hate Sega so much?

  Sonic sucks, Toe Jam & Earl sucks, and honestly that’s all I can remember about Sega.
  
  Also, in response to our “Top 5 Worst Gaming Consoles” article, BG asks: Are you saying that the Virtual Boy, THE VIRTUAL BOY, is better than the Sega Genesis?

  Yup.

  Doctor Geekibus asks: What’s your favourite Mega Man Game?

  First off, you have to put the X’s and regular Mega Mans in separate categories. For the regulars, it has to be Mega Man 2…For the X’s I’m going to say Mega Man X2…The music that game was amazing. Especially that Stretch Ostrich stage…I would leave the game on listening to that shit sometimes…

  Another one from Doctor Geekibus: What’s your favourite Mega Man Boss?

  Another difficult question. I’ve always been quite fond of Sigma from the X series. But from the original Mega Mans, I might say Flash Man because he was so easy…But on the fear scale, I would say Woodman. The way he pounded his chest before he fought you definitely made an impact on your playing ability….

  Sephiroth asks: Which Star Wars do you prefer: OT or SE?

  How can you have you have Yoda saying “Adventure? hmm. Excitement? hmm. A Jedi craves not these things…” and then end the special edition trilogy with galactic fireworks and dancing CG nonsense immediately followed by a bunch of smiling Jedi?!?! Lucas’ hypocrisy at the end of what could have been a promising clean-up of the original (sans the RoTJ musical interlude) didn’t necessarily destroy my childhood as it did to many other people, but it did make my sick. At least the original Jedi was just released on DVD outside of the box set.

  The Great White Ninja asks: Would you say you’re more scared of vampires or zombies?

  The question I have to ask is: am I playing vs. the zombie in Time Splitters 2? Because unless a zombie is attacking me with flaming monkees I’m going to have to go with vampires on this one.

  Another question from Nano “The Forgotten”, who asks: What do you think was the scariest Stephen King book of all time?

  I’m going to go with needful things…for 2 reasons.

  #1 was it turned people who were neighbors against each other by using the very UN-supernatural power of greed. The magic here was only a catalyst to the greed. and…

  #2 I think I’ve been to the actual Needful Things. As you know, most of the towns and characters are based on actual people and places in northern New England. I was in North Conway, NH last fall and I pulled behind a plaza to try to pilfer a free parking space. I got out of the car and right in front of me was an old barn type building with the words “Needful Things” haphazardly painted above the door. The shop was closed at the time, but very much in business, and very much filled with odd-ball antiques. There were old toys, musical instruments, and creepy old dolls peeking out of every window. I highly recommend a day trip up there to check it out. Just check out the shops behind the actual “Main Street” plaza’s…you’ll find it, it’s a small town.

  
  

2 Comments

1. #1 Shaolin_sKunk says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 7:31 am

   You deserve absolutely no respect from anyone ever at all.

   Saying the Virtual Boy was better than the Genesis is BEYOND retarded. I like Nintendo as much as anyone, but Jesus Christ man, you literally bend over the kitchen counter and beg, BEG, for a glorious gang-bang ass-ramming from the entire cast of SSBB.

   You are a disgrace to blogging and the English language in general. Suck a dick, cocknugget.
2. #2 cody says:
   November 20th, 2009 at 5:48 pm

   smurfs have green cum,your mother told me,while she had 8 smurf dicks in her mouth.