• Arthur (Ghosts N’ Goblins) vs. The Paperboy

  

  Written by Zeromage 4 Comments
  Last Updated:: September 1, 2008

  Paperboy and Ghosts n Goblins consistently gets bashed here on Old-Wizard (just check out our top 20 worst video games of all time). We not only dislike the games, but we dislike the heroes of those games for making the games even more painful to play. When thinking of weak heroes, the Paperboy from “Paperboy” and Arthur from “Ghosts n Goblins” come to mind. Who would win in fight between these two “heroes” though? This was a fun topic of conversation for us at Old-Wizard. These two characters would lose to all other characters except each other. But for us, we had to pick the paperboy as being the stronger of the two. This probably seems ironic seeing that Arthur is supposed to be a medieval hero. How can he not beat out a kid paperboy?

  1. Bike (auxiliary items)

  The Paperboy can out maneuver Arthur because of his Bike. Anytime that Arthur would try to attempt a fast surge forward at the Paperboy, the Paperboy could just bicycle away to regroup. Arthur is left to his measly feet. Anyone who played Ghosts n Goblins knows how slow he is in the first place. He has neither speed nor agility. We don’t know the paperboys foot strength, but we do know that he has a bike that can speed up and slow down. This is some advantage.

  2. Weapons

  Believe it or not, The Paperboy’s newspapers are more powerful than Arthur’s sword. The Paperboy’s newspapers can knock down break dancers and smash windows on command. Arthur’s sword is short and has the power equivalent to a butter knife. The paperboy could just ride his bike in circles around Arthur throwing papers at him while Arthur would stand there trying to make contact with his short sword. The paperboy has unlimited newspapers that can be thrown at Arthur. This is another huge advantage for the Paperboy.

  3. Armour

  The paperboy has no armour, but he does have a bike that can somewhat decently evade enemies. Arthur does has armour though but it so weak, it has to be placed under the Paperboy’s simple ability to evade with his bike. In case anyone forgot, Arthur has armour that falls off immediately when it comes in contact with anything in the space-time continuum. This could be a piece of grass, or anything that has a physical atom to it. Certainly then, a paper being thrown at him could knock off his weak ass armour. The paperboy’s shirt is probably just as durable as Arthur’s armuor, but the Paperboy’s bike works as armour in itself with its evasiveness.

  4. Youth

  Arthur is an old man. This is probably why he is so slow and so weak. His manly red beard can’t save him from being trounced on by anyone or anything that passes his way. The paperboy on the other hand has ebullient youth on his side. This gives him more endurance, and gumption to face more difficult tasks. We never questioned the Paperboy’s desire to get by one street in Paperboy, we questioned all the neighbors who conspired against The Paperboy every day on his delivery. Paperboy has more endurance with his youth. Arthur is certainly not one of those old men who has grown old gracefully, not after you see how weak he is in Ghosts n Goblins.

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4 Comments

1. #1 Osama says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 1:33 am

   Compelling argument. Well said. Still, Ghouls and Ghosts was a good game as long as you don’t mind never finishing a game
2. #2 MountainMaverick says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 6:34 pm

   This shits funny. I want to play Ghosts n Gobblins again to see how hard it is
3. #3 Darkest Lord says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 3:55 am

   Funny as hell lol
4. #4 Avi says:
   March 18th, 2010 at 11:42 pm

   I don’t mind never finishing a game, I just mind not having room to breathe in a game. and, I also mind weapons that are completely useless.