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• Ask Old Wizard

  

  Written by Sage 38 Comments
  Last Updated:: June 28, 2009

  This week we answer some grammatically challenged questions from Nintendo Boy about Super Mario:

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• Top 10 Oasis Songs

  

  Written by Zeromage 76 Comments
  Last Updated:: June 25, 2009

  Making a best of Oasis list with only 10 of their songs on it is difficult for us here at Old-Wizard. A Top 100 would probably be difficult for us. We think every song they ever wrote was at least good. The proof is in the pudding. Look at this band’s b-sides and you will see the inordinate amount of quality songwriting possessed in the genius of Noel Gallagher. This attempt at putting together the top 10 Oasis songs should be seen as a preliminary attempt at an impossible task. Yes, this is how good we think Oasis are. You have a problem with that? Just make sure Be Here Now isn’t playing on the jukebox or you’ll be done.
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• OW Investigative Series: Violence in Video Games

  

  Written by Sage 11 Comments
  Last Updated:: June 21, 2009

  Part 4: Pokemon

  In recent centuries the world has been racked with animal on animal violence. You need not look further than Animal Planet, Discovery Channel, and sometimes History Channel (check local listings). Every where we look some animal is killing another animal. But why? Is it for food? Are the creatures pre-programed to hate each other? Or has gang warfare spilled over into the animal kingdom? Only recently, since man has evolved hunting and tracking capabilities, has human on animal violence escalated. Some people, so called ’scientists’, have postulated that these behaviors are what allowed human beings to become the dominate species on our planet. A quick look out the window, if you live in an urban area at least, shows you that yes there are a lot of humans everywhere. But why has modern man chosen to still attack, kill, capture, and even eat animals? Is it because proteins obtained from meat and poultry are essential to a healthy diet? Is it because a number of domesticated species would no longer be able to survive on their own without human intervention? Or is it because of the destructive influence a certain video game has had on the populace?  As we have shown in previous articles, all violence in society can be blamed on video games, so it only make sense that animal cruelty must also be the fault of video games.

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• Top 10 Most Overrated Songs

  

  Written by Zeromage 43 Comments
  Last Updated:: June 18, 2009

  The traditional list of overrated songs include songs that are patently overrated.  This list however will feel the need to make evident those overrated songs that aren’t as obviously overrated to the casual listener.  That being said, this list will piss people off because there will be songs on here that the reader will think are timeless or classic.  This list will debunk the mythology placed on some of these songs by showing their boring quality, their average quality, and their tricks that make them seem better than they actually are.  Some of the “best bands of all time” are on this list.  This is not to say that we are condemning the bands, but just the specific songs, so take care before the commenting is in defense of the band rather than the song.
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• Top 10 Worst Types of Music

  

  Written by Zeromage 80 Comments
  Last Updated:: June 11, 2009

  With the broaching of pop music into art in the 20th century, it unfortunately burdened itself with it’s spatial nature.  While this space would allow for some of the most classic genres of music (e.g. Motown, Britpop, Rock), it’s flexibility allowed it’s opposite and sometimes unequal reaction in genres of music that found it’s success within Pop’s flexibility, and not the core of artistic quality.  In this list, we will highlight these music genres that have stained the great name of Pop music in the name of it’s own individuality, it’s own difference, without remembering the soul of Pop music.  There will be an underlying hope throughout the list of a the recognition of the forgotten soul of Pop music.

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• Top 10 Worst Fanboys

  

  Written by Sage 1,555 Comments
  Last Updated:: June 5, 2009

  We here at OW like a lot of things. We also dislike a lot of things. In some cases the things we like and the things we don’t like overlap. For example we like the Dave Matthews Band but we dislike the average Dave Matthews fan. This could be pictured as a Venn diagram. Venn diagrams will be used a lot in this list so please take time to review the general concept. Another example is Pokemon, we hate Pokemon but enjoy a good Nintendo game. Once again a Venn diagram would very neatly describe this. In another unrelated matter, we here at OW, in our last list, mentioned that we wanted to sell out. However we haven’t received any offers that will prevent us from having to wake up and go to our jobs in the morning. So let’s step it up people! Also while I’m on it, we haven’t received any applications to join our religion that we’ve started. So again let’s step it up people! Finally the first person to send us a set of Venn diagrams describing this list wins a free OW t-shirt. So break out the pen and compass, some crayons, and your third grade math book and get to work.

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