» 2008 » October

• Top 10 Science Fiction Movies of All Time

  

  Written by Zeromage 27 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 30, 2008

  Are you tired of the same old Top Ten Sci-Fi movie lists that have 2001: Space Odyssey listed at number 1, and then leave off all of the Star Trek movies? Well so are we. We think 2001 sucks and decided to make our own list of the best science fiction movies ever, other critics opinions be damned. What’s so great about 2001 anyway? It puts me to sleep every time I try to watch it.  The movie had some cool special effects for its time, but only if you could keep your eyes open long enough to actually see them. They’re spaced out between a long meandering story where the most exciting thing that happens is a some monkeys going wild and a strange acid trip in outer space. And what the hell is going on during the last half hour of that movie anyway? Needless to say you won’t find any artsy movies like that on our list. Just the greats. Anyway, here’s our list. If you don’t like it, go check out Ebert’s.

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• Top 10 Video Games From the 80’s

  

  Written by Zeromage 16 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 25, 2008

  Oh the 80’s. Bad haircuts, moderately entertaining family sitcoms, and the first glimpses of the technology boom. What else were the 80’s known for? How about the emergence of the home video game platform that entertained an entire generation of people with great games? All that blowing on cartridges could do nothing to stop the 80’s gamer from getting a game going. It took some great games for people to lose all their oxygen trying to get them to work. In this list, we will go through these excellent games that defined the 80’s and led to the emergence of the video game market as one of the most powerful in the entertainment industry. Without these, games, who knows how video games would’ve developed.

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• Top 20 Hardest Video Games of All Time

  

  Written by Zeromage 105 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 23, 2008

  Remember the first time you played a game where you couldn’t get by the first level no matter how hard you tried? Remember thinking to yourself that you spent three dollars to rent a game that was so difficult you wanted to return it and ask for something more tolerable? The staff here at Old-Wizard remembers these games like we played them yesterday. We remember all the controllers crushed under the weight of our throwing power. We remember the broken windows from the throwing of the controller at them. It wasn’t until the invention of the Game Genie and emulator programs that we were able to make any headway into the places we wanted to in these video games.

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• Top 10 Worst Superheroes

  

  Written by Zeromage 134 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 23, 2008

  One of the most common debates found on comic book forums across the interweb is who is the most powerful superhero of all time? Another common debate is who’s the best superhero of all time. Well, since the staff here at Old-Wizard.com are a couple of real going against the grain type o’ guys, we decided to ask the much less often asked question of who the worst superheroes of all time are. After a couple of hours of heated debate, this is the list that we came up with:

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• Top 5 Reasons Not to Play Joust

  

  Written by Zeromage 15 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 22, 2008

  Everyone raves about Joust as being on par with Pac-man and Tetris. There’s a sacred set of games that are perfect in their simplicity. The later games are always amongst the first listed in this sacred set. For some reason though, people like to include the shitty game named “Joust” on that list as well. We are out to destroy that notion with this article. This game is boring, sonically annoying, and not worth the time for what the game tries to give in entertainment value. We hope that Joust will be disregarded as one of the great simple games after this article is read through.

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• Ask Old-Wizard: UFO Edition

  

  Written by Zeromage 4 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 21, 2008

  Its been a while since we’ve released a new edition of “Ask Old-Wizard”, but hopefully it was worth the wait. This week we answer some of your UFO-related questions. Remember to send your questions to OldWizard.com@gmail.com.

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• Top 5 Fast Food Restaurants

  

  Written by bug 29 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 20, 2008

  With my belly full from a rushed thirty minute workday lunch break, it is the perfect time to settle in and dissect the intricacies of some of the most popular fast food restaurants. I can safely say that 95% of the population dabbles into the fast food realm, usually within limits of eating said food “every once and a while”. There are some of us out there who eat it for breakfast lunch and dinner, touting oversized brown paper bags that are reserved for family orders. These are the exceptions; the addicts. They fill that entire family pouch with their own fresh steaming feast. Fast; cheap food that goes from microwave to the toilet in under 15 minutes. Here at old-wizard.com we have gone on such binges, stayed abreast of the newest trends in fast food, and once in late 2005 even got up of the couch and drove straight to Taco Bell to try the brand new Crunchwrap Supreme as soon as the TV commercial ended. With these types of impulses, we bring you our top five fast food joints, with a little insight to each.

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• Top 10 Reasons All Video Games Should Be 2D

  

  Written by Zeromage 107 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 19, 2008

  With modern games like Halo and the Resident Evils, the video game world has become obsessed with the first person 3D format where you’re “virtually” mimicking your own real life movements. In a modern game like GTA4, you’re able to move in all directions in a 3D environment. What are all these games missing? In this article, we’ll discuss the fact that what’s missing from these games is mainly due to the 3D format of modern video games. With this in mind, we’ll see how the video game world needs to go back to 2D gaming to capture its lost greatness from the 8 and 16-bit eras. The problems started happening at the 32-bit era. It’s time to move forward by taking a couple steps back.

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• Top 5 Mario Power-Ups

  

  Written by Zeromage 15 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 16, 2008

  As Old-Wizard continues to remember the good old days of retro games, we always come back to Nintendo and the Mario Brothers games. In this list we will go through what we think are the top five power ups for Mario. There were many power ups that Mario could have too, from a shitty frog suit to a raccoon tail. In this list we want to highlight the ones that made us excited to procure these great gifts. One thing we knew for certain was that the Frog suit wasn’t making it. That suit in itself makes us want to make a top 5 worst Mario suits, but for now we will focus on the best.

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• Random Advice

  

  Written by Zeromage 2 Comments
  Last Updated:: October 14, 2008

  This bit of advice came from a friend of mine while he was out on a date with this chick, her friend, and her friend’s male friend.  The setting is in a crappy bar. My buddy went to the bathroom. While he was standing at the urinal he saw a fly up near the urinal handle. Its not the time of year for flies, so he decided to piss on the fly. Yes, this isn’t the most common way to kill a fly, but it will work. So, while attempting to piss on the fly he came to the conclusion that he didn’t have enough upwards force to hit the fly. So he decided to jump up in hopes that the added elevation would help him nail that fly. The fly was a really fat gross one, so you can see why anyone would want to piss on it so bad. While jumping up and down, the girl’s male friend walked into the bathroom. Aside from a bit of awkwardness, the guy seemed sort of cool with the whole jumping thing. My friend hastily left the bathroom and decided to tell the girls the truth behind the jumping around rather than have the other guy tell them about it later on. Jumping at a urinal could be easily misconstrued by anyone not seeing the fly. Well the girls were pretty much disgusted and the one has no interest in him anymore. So the whole point of the story is this. Next time you find yourself in a bathroom jumping up and down trying to piss on a fly, make sure you lock the door.
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