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• Ask Old-Wizard: April 30th, 2008

  

  Written by Zeromage 2 Comments
  Last Updated:: April 30, 2008

  In this week’s edition of “Ask Old-Wizard” I answer a couple of questions from an outraged Sega fan (one of many), who was a little upset about our “Top 5 Worst Video Game Consoles of All Time” and several other random questions from some of our regular readers. Sorry I couldn’t answer all your questions this week, but I’m receiving so many every day, and I only have a limited amount of time to answer them. But I promise I’ll get to everyone’s eventually so keep sending them in and keep reading!

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• This is an Actual News Story

  

  Written by Zeromage 1 Comment
  Last Updated:: April 27, 2008

• Top 10 Characters From Punch Out!

  

  Written by Zeromage 10 Comments
  Last Updated:: April 24, 2008

  Mike Tyson’s Punchout was one of the best games for the NES. It had great game play that was neither too complex nor too simple. The game’s duration was a perfect length, employing a simple password technology to start you off at the first fighter of a respective circuit. What really made Punchout so successful though, was all it’s well-designed and well-thought-out characters ranging from the drunk to the arrogant, to the flat out awfully skilled fighters. Each had their own charisma or lack there of. Each had their own mid-round parlance reflecting their own personalities that were guided by their various cultures. Super Punchout for the SNES would continue the tradition adding more color and graphic technology to all the fighters and even reinstating many of the fighters from Mike Tyson’s Punchout such as Bald Bull, Mr. Sandman, and the overly tan Super Macho Man. It was imperative for us at Old-Wizard to come up with the definitive “best of” list for the Punchout and Super Punchout characters combined. There were some fighters we left off that we wish we didn’t have to leave off like Mr. Sandman and 3 or 4 fighters from Super Punchout such as Nick Bruiser, Bob Charley, and Masked Muscle. But as with all lists, omissions are always necessary. Still, we are confident you will enjoy our picks, especially our number 1 pick.

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• Bo Jackson Tecmo Super Bowl Run

  

  Written by Zeromage 4 Comments
  Last Updated:: April 23, 2008

• Top 5 Worst Gaming Consoles of All Time

  

  Written by Zeromage 254 Comments
  Last Updated:: April 20, 2008

  The video game world has seen its fair share of poor systems that had no business being released in the first place. Some of these systems were created for getting something in time for a holiday. Others were carefully constructed, and failed for any number of reasons from poor games, to poor sound, to poor graphics, or to just plain bad ideas as we’ll see with the #5 entry specifically. Luckily, most of the video game world had always rebounded from its bad ideas, and created systems that were much more intuitive in the fun factor for the gamer. On this list then, we will highlight what we think are the worst systems of all time. As always, there will be those who disagree, especially with one of our entries. We expect a high amount of criticism and even some profanity from some of our choices, but we ask you to read the arguments and consider what is being said before flaming them to no end. We’re sure we’ll see a lot of your own “top 5 worst systems of all time” after this list. The systems that overlap between our lists may be cause for some agreement between us and the reader. But we’re pretty the sure the flames will be stronger. They always are.
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• Top 10 Gaming Consoles of All Time

  

  Written by Zeromage 114 Comments
  Last Updated:: April 19, 2008

  The home based video game system has been the greatest signifier for what a “nerd” is. What would a nerd be without home video game systems? From the next gen systems of today, to the video game systems of yesteryear which collect dust over time only to be undusted when the urge comes to replay Zelda 1 for Nintendo. The nerd who is usually considered to be socially inept because of his insistence in staying indoors playing video games all day doesn’t hit at the deeper reasons for the nerd’s disposition. The video game system for the nerd is a place to escape the banality of what consists of much of the real world, into dungeons with 8 horned dragons spewing fireballs at them. This phenomena is not because of social ineptness, but because of a want for a world with much more variety, and much more creativity. The nerd wants to go on epic adventures every day where the world is on the line and it is up to them and their friends to save it. As they are not offered this chance in the real world, they find their solace with the advent of the home gaming system revolution. These next systems are the best that the home video game platform has had to offer. Many memorable games have been titles for these systems, and this is the most important factor for us in choosing what the best video game systems have been.

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• Ask DestructoMaximo: April 19th, 2008

  

  Written by destructomaximo 7 Comments
  Last Updated:: April 19, 2008

  Hi everybody! It’s me, Destructo! Ask me any questions you’d like and I’ll answer them. There is no guideline for the type of questions you might ask, but if you try to stump me with something technical I’m just going to make something up a-la “ask dr. stupid” on ren & stinmpy. So let them inquizimitationaries fly!

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• Top 5 Girls From the Wonder Years

  

  Written by Zeromage 20 Comments
  Last Updated:: April 18, 2008

  The Wonder Years was full of amazing dialogues, and amazing actors. For the boys who watched these episodes in their young age though, all that really mattered were the girls in the show, the girls that Kevin would inevitably end up falling for. They represented all the different girls that they wanted to meet themselves growing up through their teenage years, from the girl next door, to the seemingly unattainable girl who digs you to your disbelief. All the swings of teenage romance were palpable in the Wonder Years, from a first kiss, to a first slap, to a first possibility of infidelity. It’s with this in mind that we rank the women of the Wonder Years, in hopes of bringing back the images of these women from a golden era who embodied the grace and class of a gender currently lost.

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• Video Game Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time

  

  Written by Zeromage No Comments
  Last Updated:: April 17, 2008

  In the early nineties, the only place to play Turtles in Time was in the plethora of bowling alleys spread across the nation, that is, until it was finally released on the SNES. The game stayed true to the arcade version, with its seemingly endless numbers of foot soldiers and those loveable mutated villains at the end of every stage. But playing this game as a kid, the coolest aspect was throwing your adversary to the TV screen. Genius. Game play starts at 3:00 in the morning in the Big Apple, where you battle atop a construction platform. You soon realize that pizzas are the only power up you have, and that only one box appears at a time, creating a every-man-for-himself race as you and your friend each attempt to stave off death by consuming the delicious Italian treat.

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• Minesweeper…The Movie!

  

  Written by Zeromage 1 Comment
  Last Updated:: April 17, 2008
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