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• Video Game Review: Quest for Glory

  

  Written by Zeromage No Comments
  Last Updated:: December 30, 2007

  Take one stereotype Hero, you know, the hulking blonde-haired blue eyed douche, add a cocktail of Germanic lore with a shot of fairy tale, mix in a colourful cast of characters and you will have one of the most exciting games in Sierra Online History.

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• Video Game Review: Space Quest 1

  

  Written by Zeromage No Comments
  Last Updated:: December 28, 2007

  Being trapped in a closet can be useful in some instances; like when you are R. Kelly and you feel the need to write a bad song; or if you’re that gay cousin at a redneck family reunion, or perhaps when there is someone attractive locked in said closet with you while playing a hardcore game of “Seven Minutes in Heaven”. I’d have to say the most useful example of being trapped in a closet comes from the tale of one Roger Wilco. You see, Roger was never really what we would call a smart guy, I mean, he lives his life as a Janitor on a space ship. Cool to be on a space ship, not cool to have to clean the toilets. Well, it just so happens that one day, while being trapped in a closet, Roger avoids certain death when Sariens invade his space ship. Roger manages to escape the closet after the main attack on the ship; however, there are 15 minutes until the ship self-destructs. As Roger uses his dulled wits to bumbles through the space ship and look for his escape, he learns from a dying scientist that the Sariens have taken the Star Generator. The scientist then gives him access to a computer cartridge that has the plans to build another generator.

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• Comic Book Review: Superman Issue #671

  

  Written by Zeromage No Comments
  Last Updated:: December 20, 2007

  Have you have ever paid $2.99 to get kicked in the nuts? If you purchase this issue of Superman you may as well because that’s about how enjoyable it is. This issue starts a new three part story titled “Insect Queen.” The story is actually paying homage to a classic figure that originally appeared in Superboy back in 1965. While most of the other titles in the DC universe are following or tying into the Countdown story Superman is unfortunately off in its own world.

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• Alternate Land Destruction Idea

  

  Written by Zeromage No Comments
  Last Updated:: December 8, 2007

  This deck uses the Icy Manipulators to tap my howling mines on my opponents turn so she can’t take advantage of their card drawing ability.

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• Toxic Toast

  

  Written by Zeromage 1 Comment
  Last Updated:: December 7, 2007

  Here’s an original number I wrote. It should be sung to the beat of “Toxic Toast” by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. It also helps to envision yourself as Spiderman taking a vacation to the X-men mansion in a crossover comic.

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• Why I don’t like Elvis

  

  Written by Zeromage 7 Comments
  Last Updated:: December 3, 2007

  Saying Elvis Presley is the King of Rock and Roll is like saying Vanilla Ice is the king of rap. While it is true that Vanilla Ice brought rap to white suburbia and was the first rapper to earn a #1 single on the billboard charts, let’s be real, the guy was a toolbox and a rip-off of the black artists that came before him. Hmm…does this scenario sound familiar? Elvis took the heavily underground and rich history of juke-joint blues and gospel, put a white face on it, watered it down, and sold it to the commercial masses. His curse was that he, like the Ice Man, became every bit as exploited as the music they pilfered. Maybe that Hound Dog was really just a Hellhound on his Trail.

• Top 5 80’s Family Sitcoms

  

  Written by Zeromage 11 Comments
  Last Updated:: December 1, 2007

  The popular sitcoms of the 80’s were predominantly tacky family oriented shows with sappy endings and average problems throughout. This is why we’re so interested in them and in want of making our own list of these forgotten masterpieces of banality. It’s only with a hint of subtle criticism in the last sentence that we can contain our excitement about talking about the fine qualities of Alan Thicke and Tony Danza, not to mention the beauty of Justine Bateman and Alyssa Milano. Regardless whether or not one was a family-man or woman, there was a lot to learn from the family sitcom in the 80’s, from the youthful expressions of Michael J Fox, to the sophisticated positions on earth life in Alf. Everywhere, one could find a show that would taste like a heavy chocolate at Christmas, and smell like a bed of flowers from your suburban front yard. As with all lists, there were some difficult omissions, in this case, “Cheers” (who says your family can’t be your drinking buddies at your local bar). We have a feeling though that no one will really have a problem with this omission, as it is only us at Old-Wizard who think about what the best 80’s family sitcoms are anyway.

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